Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Posts: 1 Location: Edmonton Alberta
Is 19 to Young? Help.... Posted: 07-24-04 18:30pm
Hi, my boyfriend and I jsut got engaged,
and now I wanna start a family with him.
I want to have a baby, we've talked about
it and hes cool with the idea. I am ready
for that respnsiblity, and im ready for
whatever it takes. Is 19 to young to have
a baby even though im ready. If its not
to young how do I go on and tell my mom.
She doesnt know im engaged yet.....
Help.....
~jenn~
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cherry_pie
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jan 2004 Posts: 599
Posted: 07-24-04 18:44pm
There really isn't any ideal age of when a
person has to have kids. It all depends
on the person, and how ready they are, and
how well they will be able to provide for
their child. If you and your finace think
you can do this, and are up for it, all
the more power to ya!!! As for telling
your mom, will she be mad that your
engaged? And if yes, what about being
engaged woud she be mad at? That she
doesn't like your guy, or that she thinks
your too young. If she doesn't like him,
you will have a tougher time trying to
convince her this is what you really want.
It could even end up in something that
you don't want happening (such as not
being as close to your mom anymore).But if
she will get mad because she thinks your
too young, you'll just have to try to
prove that you're ready for this. While
it may take time, and lots of energy,
sooner or later when she sees how well you
are doing, she'll come to accept it, and
be happy about it!! Good luck.
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mp
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 7 Location: NL
Re: Is 19 to Young? Help.... Posted: 07-25-04 23:17pm
Hi jenn,
my opinion: I think the fact that you ask
that question here, says you're not "110%"
ready for that responsability. The
question implies a bit that you're not
sure of yourself.
Gr, mp
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 07-25-04 23:41pm
Wanting a baby and having a baby are two
different situations, why not wait a
couple of years and enjoy each other and
then see!
Congratulations!
Sincerely,
sandy
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 07-26-04 01:13am
Is 19 too young.
I agree with mp. Well, I agree with all
of the above posts actually. You are
ready when you are ready. Age doesn't
matter all that much. But, you just got
engaged. Okay, tell your mom about that.
Get married, wait a while and then when
you have your finances and your heads
together, try to get pregnant. But, at
least wait until you are married.
Yes, wanting a baby and having a baby are
two completely different things! I
cannot imagine having a baby at 19. I am
25 now and I am still no way near ready.
When I think of all of the things I have
done, learned, and the fun that I have had
from 19 until now, oh wow. I would not
trade that for ten babies!
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Effervescence
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2004 Posts: 34
Posted: 08-14-04 00:15am
Hello jenn!
Congrats on the engagement! I was a young
bride myself- the age on the marriage
license was 19, but I was 20 by the time
the ceremony took place (got married the
week of my b-day!) even so, I would advise
that you wait a while. Enjoy your
engagement and your marriage, then worry
about a baby. You're going to have so
much fun planning the wedding, and that's
enough stress without trying to become
pregnant or worrying about a baby! Sit
down with your fiance and plan your
futures- set a path. Once you have that
path underway, consider it. Is 19 too
young? No, I have lots of friends who've
had their first child at age 19... But I
felt sorry for them because they never got
to plan their own lives before they
started to plan the life of a newborn.
After over two years of marriage, my hubby
and I still wonder. But like everyone
else has said, wanting a baby and having
one are two different things. Hope that
helps, i'm not an expert, as I said i'm
struggling with a similar dilema!
-eff
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pitterpatter
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2004 Posts: 619 Location: United States
Posted: 08-15-04 16:16pm
I was only 20 when I got engaged and now
i'm 23 married and trying to have a baby.
I would say it's very important to build
your relationship for a few years before
you have kids. Not only that but you
want to be financially secure too. At 19
it's not easy being financially secure.
Especially because you may want to go to
school or something and kids interfere
with that. My friend got married at 19
had two kids by the time she was 22 and
luckily she somehow finished school.
However, she will tell you it's so hard
raising a family and trying to be
financially stable and successful at your
career at the same time. Most people
wish they had waited longer for kids after
they had them. Especially if they were
young when they had them. Also you have
to consider how expensive medical care is
right now and what if your baby had some
kind of birth defect that you would have
to pay for. I always thought of that
when I thought about having kids. It's
up to you guys, but people don't say wait
for no reason. Your still young and have
a lot to get to know about eachother. My
husband and I have known eachother for 20
years and i'm still learning new things
about him. Anyways, now that I wrote a
novel I hope you'll think about things.
You have plenty of time to have babies
just enjoy life for awhile first.
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linuxChique
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 4535
Posted: 08-16-04 12:50pm
Wait!!!
I'm 22 and my hubby is 26. We have been
married for 2 years and i'm 5 months
pregnant with our first. Pregnancy is
soooo trying on a marriage. You
definitely want to wait a couple of years.
Strengthen your relationship before
getting pregnant. Pregnancy changes you
so much, and trying to build your marriage
while pregnant will backfire. You'll be
a completely different person during and
right after pregnancy, and you'll just
have to build your relationship all over
again when you revert back to your old
self.
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 08-16-04 17:53pm
Hi-i'm 19 & in a long term
relationship (3.4 years 2day!) and we plan
on getting married & having a family
but not for a good few years yet. At 19
you should be having fun & being with
your friends but if this is what you
really really want then good luck.By the
way-are you not going to wait until you
get married so that you at least know
there's more security in your
relationship? Or even have time to get to
know each other more?
Just make sure you know that you want this
before you rush into it.
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callie8323
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2004 Posts: 231 Location: nc
Maybe Posted: 09-22-04 08:49am
Im 21 and ive been enaged since feb we
aren't getting married for another 2 years
and we have been togther for 3 years its
hard thinking about marriage and kids
first you have to have a house full time
job car ect so much to build up before
kids get married first and then go for
kids babies grow up you may want a baby
but they grow up and they cost a lot! I
want a child too but I think of how my
child would not have everything right now
because I could not afford to give him or
her my best right now. Good luck 19 is a
little young my sister was 19 when she had
her frist child and trust me it was a big
rude awaking for her! She was not ready
and she was a single mommy but her
daughter is now 6 and she realized how
much a better mommy she is now with her 4
year old son than she was with her first
because she was older with her 2nd child
its up to you. You are your own person.
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jessamyn
Supporter
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 10-18-04 12:09pm
I dont think so at all
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nippz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 2173 Location: ,
Posted: 10-19-04 21:05pm
Yeah. If ur asking that question, then
your not ready. You shouldn't question
yourself.
