Joined: 27 Jul 2004 Posts: 2 Location: Rhode Island
Someone Please Help Or Reassure Me Posted: 07-27-04 20:55pm
In my life ive had "sex" with 2 girls.
The reason I put quotes around it is
because I can't get hard. Im a college
student...This is supposed to be a breeze,
right? It takes me way too long to get
hard, and its not even a full erection.
And of course...It also disappears far too
soon. When I am about to receive oral
sex....Its just humiliation waiting to
happen
i dont know wut to do. I went to see a
doctor about it, yes, I was able to work
up the guts, but he didnt do anything bc
at the time I wasnt sexually active (bc my
gf broke up with me just a week or so
before that probably for this very
reason). He said to come back in a
couple months. Theres no way I can go to
my parents with this, and I stuggled
immensely even hinting at this problem
with my best (guy) friend.
Ive looked online at these sites...And it
seems like depression is usually the
problem. I do go thru stages of
depression, but when im involved with a
girl...It goes away(i am the clingy
type)..So I dont know if thats the answer.
When I attempted to have sex, it was a
distaster. It always ended up being me
giving the oral pleasure, me realize im
not going to be able to get it up and then
us cuddling with me wanting to shoot
myself
i should mention both girls ive been
intimate with, I didnt wait long...2 days
with one and maybe a week with the
other...Perhaps that has something to do
with it.
Since then and before then I have
masterbated..Almost everyday, often times
twice. I dont know why, but often times
I cant fall asleep unless I
masterbate..Even if im not horny, I just
do it so I can go to sleep( I also have
insomnia so im depserate just to get to
sleep most nights). I really hate
myself...And im beginning to wonder
whether all this causes my depression, or
my depression causes all this. I should
mention also that I have no problem
getting and staying hard during
masterbation. Also I kind of have the
same problem with meeting girls now.
Aside from the normal guy panziness like
there is something extra holdng me back
from going to talk to girls...And I think
it might be the fact that even if I get my
way with them im just going to end up
embarrasing myself.
I just want to slap myself when I realize
im actually considering those viagra
popups ads that always come up
im soo lost and my self-esteem is low
enough without all this garbage to worry
about. Can someone please offer some
advice? Am I addicted to porn? Is it
because im depressed? Something....Please
help this poor guy out.....
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the one
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Miami Beach
Posted: 07-27-04 21:35pm
It's really probably an emotional/mental
thing opposed to a physical thing because
you can get it up during masturbation.
I'm not an expert at this but the most
logical thing you should try doing, that
everyone says to do, is stop masturbating
yourself for a while and see what happens.
Also, I know it's harder done than said,
but try not to think about it so much,
it's not the end of the world. Maybe you
should browse around for a while and look
for a girl you don't necessarily want to
sleep with, but have a relationship with.
If that fills some kind of void, and you
feel comfortable with her, then you either
won't have your problem anymore or she'll
understand and try to help you.
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nervouswreck29
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jul 2004 Posts: 2 Location: Rhode Island
Posted: 07-27-04 22:37pm
I try to stop masterbating...But as I said
I have insomnia, ive tried to go a while
without jerking off but it just makes
falling asleep harder, so to get even a
couple hours sleep I just need to do
it...It doesnt even feel good....Im scared
I might be addicted because this is what I
hear about drug addicts...Like they just
take the drugs so they can function
normally
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jeffsgirl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Jun 2004 Posts: 6
Posted: 07-28-04 01:17am
First of all I just wanna give you a hug
and try to get you to relax for just a
moment... This isnt going to go away if
you stress about it all the time. Alot of
times, things like this are in your head..
You tell yourself you wont be able to
have an erection so then u just cant. If
youre so worried about getting it hard
that you cant focus on enjoying whosever
company your with or enjoying the moment
or the feelings that it wont happen. You
need to have some confidence in yourself.
Its ok to be shy to talk to girls, girls
are just as shy to talk to guys. Could
this be a result of something else that
happened to you. Was sex viewed as a
"bad" thing to do when you were a kid or
did you have a bad sexual experience when
you were younger. Go look in the mirror
and point out some good qualities about
yourself, both physical and personality
wise. Be confident and realize that
everyone has their insecurities, focus on
how it feels to be with someone instead of
worrying about an erection. Im not sure
about the sleeping thing, relax be
comfortable and think about something that
makes you happy, not the fact that u cant
sleep.Good luck and I hope ya feel better
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the one
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jun 2004 Posts: 139 Location: Miami Beach
Posted: 07-28-04 12:32pm
Alright, you're going to have to sacrifice
one for the other...What do you want more,
sleep or sex? Okay, i'm half-kidding.
If you really can't stop then try to do
the second part of what I said. Don't
look to sleep with a girl but look for a
relationship. Insomnia and not being
able to get an erection might be entwined
in your case, because they both seem to be
mental issues.
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southcoach
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 May 2004 Posts: 65
:) Posted: 07-28-04 12:50pm
Hey man, I agree with jeffsgirl. You
remind me of me. It seems like you are
a worrier just like I am. It really is
a mental thing. The mind is a powerful
influence. I've looked at a lot of
threads and talked to a lot of people and
it seems like the people who have these
problems are the ones who constantly think
about it. As I read on one thread if
you constantly think "get hard, get hard"
you won't. Don't focus on this, instead
focus on how it feels to touch her, how
your lips feel on hers, etc. This
problem happens because you worry and you
worry because it happens. End this
cycle. Get yourself together, take a
deep breath and relax. It most likely
is a mental thing because you are hard
when you masterbate. As far as the
masterbation thing goes, it might be
linked to the depression. I sometimes
do this or watch porn because I want an
instant pleasure and gratification to
escape a depressed moment. Find another
outlet to vent your depression..I have and
it worked. But please, take a deep
breath you will be fine. Have some
confidence in yourself and know that you
are okay. I am shy too and you know
what? There is not a thing wrong with
it!! Take care!
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Nikos Gallis
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2004 Posts: 35 Location: Pireu
If It's Before 40+ Yrs It Is a Very Serious Health Issue Posted: 09-15-04 04:35am
Erection with masturbation usually
vanishes later that the
rest of them. That however is not very
reassuring on long
term, because that also will disapear in
time.
Definitely use cialis and on a regular
basis, enough that you
would function normally every day (eg
spontaneous night
and morning erections). It doesn't have
to be just for sex.
Your problem is part of a greater one that
is ignored on
purpose by the doctors (urologists and
cardiologists) and the
media. The reason is that so far it
cannot be stopped (i am
not talking cure here), but cialis (get a
prescription) may help
in delaying the process of the disease.
This problem if appears under 45 yrs is
due to heart and arterial
congenital defects that will cause an
accelerated degradation of
your arteries, heart, lungs, etc. It is a
circulation problem not a stress
problem although it may seems so and the
doctors (especially the
psychiatrists will swear so).
You will be fine for about 15-17 yrs from
other symptoms, but
when somebody will refer you to a
psychiatrist be careful. You may
be close to being committed involuntary
into a psychiatric hospital
so that they will hide your suffering from
the naive society.
Once you are in that state, you have no
civil rights, nobody (doctors,
lawyers, media) will help you. You will
be lost in a black hole from
where nobody escapes.
Sorry to give you the bad news but it's
better that people know
about it in advance instead of finding out
too late that they are
hunted like animals by psychiatrists years
later.
Hopefully, by then the doctors and the
governments will become
more humane in treating people like you
when the time comes.
Therefore, enjoy your life now as much as
possible, and don't
forget that the doctors are not always
your friends.
Ps: you should be worried when cialis
doesn't work anymore,
you become dizzy, have respiratory
problems, pressure in your
ears, have pain and neurologic symptoms,
etc.
When that happens don't go to any
hospital, especially a large one.
