Something Must Be Wrong With Me... Though the Docs Say Not Posted: 08-01-04 18:55pm
Divorced a few years ago from a wonderful
woman who was one of the best women I have
ever known. We are still the best of
friends and were very compatible. But
that having all that didn't stop us from
ending it and believe it our not it was
mutual. During the separation process we
did try counseling and I was diagnosed as
being depressed and had to see a few
mental docs. The last one was
psychologist/psychiatrist who told me that
I looked good after it was all over so he
recommended that I am better as a loner.
What's funny is that women like me and see
me as a potential long term, when I know
and have expressed how I am. Is there
something wrong with me because I don't
want to be in a relationship?
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JanetBee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Apr 2004 Posts: 332
Posted: 08-08-04 14:46pm
There is a lot of pressure and expectation
in society for people to be in a
relationship, but it isn't always right
for people at all times in their lives.
So people end up going out with, or even
marrying someone just because it's
considered abnormal to be single.
Sometimes you need to be able to
concentrate on yourself, being with
someone means that you have to spend time
thinking about their needs too. It isn't
fair on the other person if you get
involved knowing that you aren't able to
do that. It's really mature and
responsible to know that you aren't really
interested in being part of a couple just
now -- and not being on the lookout is
something that women are likely to see is
very attractive, that you aren't
desperate! But also if they know about
your reluctance it might make you seem a
bit of a challenge (the way that some
girls are also attracted to gay men!), and
also you will appeal to women who maybe
subconsciously aren't interested in a
committed relationship.
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subie90
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2005 Posts: 19 Location: Louisville,Ky.
Male Version of Myself! Posted: 05-31-05 19:06pm
You sound like the male version of me! No
it is not abnormal! Alot of people are
drawn to us, they like us and enjoy us,
but... We are better off when we are
single. I can say that and finally after
all these years realize the pattern! I
have been to therapy thinking maybe I
could change or improve something. I have
also been on anti-depressants. Everytime
I am in a serious relationship or
marriage! When you can stay single long
enough to find yourself and enjoy yourself
and like yourself, it isn't so bad.
Wouldn't it be great to find someone who
felt and lived the same way with the same
expectations? When you are single, you
can give so much more of yourself in so
many ways and other areas that are even
more satisfying and fulfilling. I hope
you come to the place I have and find the
peace in it. I am not happy or anything
and I am married right now but, I have
learned the hard way everything I just
told you and I am better for it. Time
heals and remember, it is mind over
matter. So work on getting your head
straight and everything else will follow.
