I've heard that sex is uncomfortable, and
often painful for women, when they first
become sexually active. How long did it
take for any of you guys before your body
adjusted to having intercourse and sex
became pleasurable?
I've recently become sexually active w/ my
boyfriend, and we've only had intercourse
a few times. It was mostly
uncomfortable/a little painful each time.
I think he was also a bit frustrated
because it didn't last too long. I know
that next time, we should probably take it
slower/have more foreplay, etc.
Suggestions would be very welcome, because
both my boyfriend and I are hoping that
sex would be a more intimate/pleasant
experience, as opposed to being very
uncomfortable and painful.
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 08-09-04 20:54pm
The more foreplay, the better!It would be
great if the first time you were intimate
with someone,everything clicked and it was
like it is in the movies(real movies,not
porn).It takes time to be good
together.Take your time,explore and
enjoy.Talk to each other about what you
like or don't.If he does not know you
don't like something,he may continue doing
it!Same goes for you -let him tell
you/show you what he likes.It takes time
to learn about your lover's body and he
yours.It will get better,trust me! :d
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-10-04 08:23am
Well, it took me over a year to even like
sex. And that is just "like" it took me
about nine years to have my first orgasm.
Not from penetration, but other things,
lol. I have never had an orgasm from
penetration.
You just have to relax and not be afraid
to ask for what you want. Otherwise, you
will end up so darn frustrated!!!!!!!Trust
me, I have lived it. Not good.
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sparklypixie12
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 3099
Posted: 08-10-04 19:52pm
It was complete agony for me the first 10
times i'd say but then I got used to
it-still hurts a bit now to be honest
& it's been three years!
If it was your boyfriends first time to,
he won't last long-that's just the way it
is & it'll take hom time to leanr how
to get that level of control over his own
body.
If you want to make the experience more
pleasant then you have to look out for
each others needs-it's about both of you
& not just the man! Enjoy but be safe
& careful :d
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 08-10-04 20:00pm
Have you ever had an orgasm?Can you show
him what does it for you??If so,show
him!If not,show yourself!Sex was not much
fun for quite a while.Then,a very
persistant young man turned on the love
machine!!!!Now I am very easily aroused
and enjoy sex every time.I think most of
that comes with being comfortable with
yourself and your partner.It will
happen,don't give up.Patty
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Riversmommy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 711 Location: Springfield,Illinois
Posted: 08-10-04 20:39pm
All the girls are right!! My boyfriend
like unleashed the inner freak in me
lol!!! Not really but seriously u have to
talk to eachother figuere out wat ur turn
ons are and arent communication goes a
long believe me!
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CrazyBanana
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Apr 2004 Posts: 48 Location: So Cal
Posted: 08-11-04 14:15pm
Thanks for all of the replies!
Patty, yes, i've had orgasms before
(during oral sex). I guess my boyfriend
and I are just trying to get used to
actual intercourse. For me, I suppose my
body isn't used to it, and it was more
painful than anything, though I liked the
feeling of closeness I had with him.
(oh, the only other thing that's been more
painful was my first pelvic exam, because
my idiotic gynecologist asked me if I used
tampons before. When I replied yes, she
said "oh, then you're practically not a
virgin anymore" and proceeded to rush the
exam before I was ready )
anyways, I talked w/ my boyfriend
recently, and he was upset to find out
that it hurt that much, and so we agreed
we're going to try to take it slower. I
guess we just have to adjust to
everything. Condoms have provided
problems of their own as well. I guess
we'll just have to learn together.
Thanks for all of the advice, ladies.
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 08-11-04 17:21pm
Astroglide or any silicone based lube will
really help,especially with condoms.Don't
use any oil or vasaline or any petroleum
based products.These products can
weaken/damage condoms.Best of luck to
you!!Patty
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Pixie
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Jun 2004 Posts: 41
Posted: 08-11-04 21:48pm
If I missed someone mentioning it...All
apologies! But I think relaxation is the
key! Of course, it takes many practice
runs with intercourse to "loosen" the
area, but I always noticed with myself
when my partner and I engaged in
penatration it was definately better for
both of us when I was relaxed inregards to
my vaginal area. If I was tense and
really didn't feel like doing it...I
totally tightened up and it wasn't any fun
for either of us!
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