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I'm So Stressed

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BabyPassion

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2003
Posts: 94
Location: Bronx, NY
I'm So Stressed
Posted: 09-29-03 17:02pm

Hey girls,

i'm so stressed here at home. My son is driving me crazy. He won't listen to me at all. He is constantly screaming. I feel that I cant handle him at times. Today my babysitter treated me to lunch and he did not behave at all. I felt so bad cause some old lady yelled at him and told him to shut up.....I didn't say anything to her because so was really old. I think he is acting like this because my husband is out to sea. With me being six months pregnant I sort of regret not going back home to live with my mother while my husband was away. I really don't want to go back home to mom......I can't take her telling me how to raise my son. I think I would be more stressed there. Any how I just want to know how to cope with all this stress.


Your friend,
passion
keep in touch
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4922
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 09-29-03 17:25pm

Hey! How old is your son? Well my niece is going to be one next weekend and kristen my other neice is 6. Kristen used to live with us and hope (1) still does. Let me tell you! The screaming drives you crazy doesnt it! I get stressed too! You should start telling him no. With kristen, she gets like that when she doesnt get what she wants. So I tell her "kristen ana-marie! You stop that or I call your dad!" then I tell her..."you do not yell at me! I will not get you an ice cream if you keep it up!" and she quiets down. I treat them when they are good, with an ice cream or a cheap toy or a quarter! Hahaha. I dont yell but you talk firmly. And let them know they cannot be screaming. Or the best one is if they are at home screaming, just ignore them. In a public place, I get them a candy. Or something to entertain them. I know its different with your own kids, but im always with my nieces so I treat them like they are mine sometimes.

And with all that screaming and stress you have you need a break. I read a good book to get away. Sounds nerdy but I love to read. You should get the book "the face" by dean koontz. Its a great one. Keeps you on your toes, and the more you read the more you get into it and escape everything. I do that, I lie down, I make a hot bath, I sit and watch tv with a bowl of ice cream.

Girl you got many choices of how to relax! Good luck!
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HongKongChick

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Aug 2003
Posts: 222
Location: Oklahoma

Posted: 09-29-03 17:57pm

I can understand it's stressful without ur husband and u being pregnant at the same time!

Maybe u can try to talk to your mom about her telling u how to raise ur son?? Or is she not a talkable person? I think that if ur relationship with her isnt that bad, there is always a chance of communication. So maybe to sit here down face to face to tell her how u feel about her telling u what to do, maybe she just doesnt know what she is doing is hurting you, and she might not understand you if you dont talk to her... It's just my 2 cents, so if she is absolutely not that type of person that will understand or u have tried numerous times, then forget what I said :d

have u thought about reading books on children's behavior? I think those self-help books might help.
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4922
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 09-29-03 18:00pm

Hong kong chick! I havent heard from you in forever!!! Where have you been?
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BabyPassion

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2003
Posts: 94
Location: Bronx, NY
Thanks......
Posted: 09-29-03 19:25pm

Thank you both..... Everything you said i've done...My son is two..I don't want you guys too get the wrong idea. At times my son is so loving......Like for instants I just but him to bed and he saw that I was very upset and he gave me his bunny rabbit and started to rub my back....He wanted to comfort me....With little things like that make me feel a whole lot better... But when it come to the day time he has a whole lot of energy and he doesn't know what to do with it......He also misses his father, they were very close and he doesn't understand that feel and how to react......Nikki I do talk firm to him and let him know who is 'boss' and I take him to the park or somewhere where he can let off steam. It seem like I do everything right but it doesn't work.....The only thing that works is when he sees me crying......And I don't like cry in front of him....I know that makes him sad....I love to read. I just finish a book I need to get into another one.....I need to find some time......I also joined this group to release some stress...... Hongkongchick me and my mother are close but she lives in ny and i'm in va......She is really sweet but she does these thing that erk my nervous....I tell all the time but she cant change.....We get along better when we are apart. I want to thank you both agaian for you advise. I nice to know that some is listening

your friend,
passion
keep in touch
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youngmama

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2003
Posts: 437
Location: Cheyenne Naomi born 10-2-2003

Posted: 09-29-03 20:26pm

Passion, well first of all let me just say that you sound like a wonderful mom and that your in the lovely land of "terrible twos"! While there is little that I can suggest to you, I would say that the most you can do at this stage is just make sure that he isn't hurting himself or others (not intentionally of course!) my soon to be mother in law, used the counting method. Say like crissa-leigh(austin's 8 year old sister) if you don't stop yelling in 3 seconds you are going to sit at the dining room table and miss 3 minutes of playtime. Then she would count back from 3 and if she got to one, then crissa-leigh would miss 3 minutes of playtime and at that young 3 minutes is *forever* after about a week of that I am sure that he will mellow out a bit!
Hope this helps!!

Much love
-jessika-
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BabyPassion

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2003
Posts: 94
Location: Bronx, NY
Hey Jessika
Posted: 09-29-03 20:36pm

I do the counting method....And that still doesn't work.....I guess I just have to handle it.... Confused I know he is at that age but I don't remember none of my five nephews acting like that at that age. And thank you for calling me a good mommy Smile I know from what if been reading you are going to be a great mommy

your friend
passion
keep in touch
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youngmama

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2003
Posts: 437
Location: Cheyenne Naomi born 10-2-2003

Posted: 09-29-03 21:16pm

Well your nephews were probably too excited to see you once in a while to misbehave, but since your son is with you everyday its a bit different! You have my best wishes and if you find a way to simmer him down throw your technique my way! Lord knows if cheyenne is anything like me i'll need it! Lol thanks for the compliment by the way!!

Much love
-jessika-
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BabyPassion

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2003
Posts: 94
Location: Bronx, NY

Posted: 09-30-03 20:38pm

I just wanted to let everyone know that my son was a little angel today.... When i'm relaxed and calm he behaves very well....I didn't have to scold him once to day

passion
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youngmama

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Sep 2003
Posts: 437
Location: Cheyenne Naomi born 10-2-2003

Posted: 09-30-03 20:39pm

Awwww!! That is way too awesome! I am so glad that he was being good! You must have had a wonderful day! Hope it keeps up!!

Much love
-jessika-
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4922
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 10-01-03 10:28am

Thats great, I was thinking about it last night and all he needs is extra cuddling and reminders that daddy will be home soon. You know, give him the extra love that both of you gave.
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BabyPassion

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2003
Posts: 94
Location: Bronx, NY

Posted: 10-01-03 11:21am

Yeah, I know that what he needs. I just have to remember that at times....It very hard on both of us.....I love him to death.....He is such a good boy at times.....
Passion
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nikki_caro

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 4922
Location: Right here at work!

Posted: 10-01-03 11:26am

Yeah. I mean my nieces are spoiled!! We have alot of love and kristen will tell my mom "nana your mean" and she says well I still love you, here give me a hug! And she runs!Hahaha but they need it more than you do. You have eachother for now. See my nieces! I have a camara phone so I sent it to my email and copied it!!!
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