Needing Advice

Oh god, where to start?!

Princess, the first thing you need to do is differentiate between the sex urge and a desire to get married. Although tradition and social norms might say that sex should take place in marriage only, one is a biological urge and one is a legal association. Keep in mind, for instance, that girls used to get married at 16 or 17 (and that is the age that you used to get your first period, instead of 11 or 12 like is the average now), so it was one way of keeping those raging hormones under control in a socially-sanctioned relationship. Now, it's unusual to marry that young -- and expecting girls to wait until they are married to have sex is probably unrealistic.

You say "the commitment we all call sex" -- but in fact, sex and commitment are very different things. You might be ready for a sexual relationship. If you believe for moral or religious reasons that you need to be married, then you need to find a way to control your urges until then -- take up a sport, or something. The mistake would be to marry someone now, just because you want to have sex with them. They may not be the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with.

I agree with poopoopoo 100%.
Plus, you have a man who is respecting your values, and that is absolutely wonderful.
You really need to make sure that this is what you want to do! Not just because it is what everyone else does, or because it is considered the "norm" and not because you want commitment, because that is not what sex is. Sex is just that sex. Many girls/women have sex to bring them "closer" to the man when in reality it actually creates more distance.
I lost my virginity at 16 and I had no desire to do so. I only did it because I was the only virgin/everyone always talked about it and how great it was/i wanted my boyfriend to stay with me etc. However, sex really isn't that big of a deal. And it will probably take quite sometime for you to even enjoy it, and may take years (i am still waiting) to have an orgasm from actual sex. Yes, sex can be wonderful, but is sometimes just not worth all the responsability/drama/crap that it creates.
Anyway, point being just take it slow. I mean you said that you have never even madeout? Start there. If you want to. Just follow your desires as you get them and trust your instincts and everything will be fine.
However, if you do decide to have sex or get close to it then get on birth control before you become active. Good luck.

Princess,poopoopoo and hotasfrick are right on the money.The bottom line is,only do what you're comfortable with.If touching is all you want to do,fine.Never let a young man pressure you(and we all know how persistant they are when they want loving!).Like poopoopoo said,don't mistake lust for love.Sex and commitment don't go hand in hand,quite often, losing your virginity does not mean as much to your partner as it does to you.And yes,you are much to young for a baby.Educate yourself,explore your options,then settle down.An education will always be there for you and give you a way to support yourself regardless of your marital status.If you do decide you are ready for sex,see your doctor to find out which birth control method is right for you.Good luck to you!Patty

Well I am only 17 , so I kinda understand where you are coming from. I think if you are wanting sex and you havent even made out with your b/f you are kinda taking it a little too far. Mabey you should take it slower .. Start with the making out . Making out might be all your body is wanting.
Well good luck .. !!

Kayla

I think that since you've never made out, like they said, start with that. Ya know there's lots of other stuff you can do before having intercourse... But a thing to worry about is sometimes you could be doing those other things and get caught in the "heat of the moment" and go further than you wanted. Just to let you know from my own experience: I was dating a guy who said he respected my moral values and said he'd wait however long it took me, but he constantly hinted in subtle ways that he wanted to but said it didn't really matter. That led me to have sex before I was really wanting to badly... And after a couple months he dumped me cuz he turned out to be one of those "player" types. I am still scarred from it and it's been almost 2 years!!! The person you lose your virginity to will make an impression in your life and you will not forget him ever...Unless it was a circumstance that had to do with drugs or anything... Make sure you're ready, get birth control, start with the other things first, and how I always thought: make sure you're in love if you want that intimacy... If you just want to fulfill the urge and don't mine having sex without the intimacy and great feelings of love, go ahead but just don't become premiscuous... Being a virgin has its benifits.

I agree with everyone. I'm 18 when I lost my virginity I was 15. But this was ok for me coz I was in a loving relationship and we went out for nearly a year an a half. This is a big deal for a 15 year old as you know. Me and him are still friends. We both lost out virginity together. This I think is actually more important that people make it out to be. I know this is slightly off the topic but just keep with me. Since we were both new to sexual interaction we felt comfortable knowing there wasn't any push into anything. We had a few months to fool around with things other than sex. I think exploring each others bodies before deciding to have sex is very important. If you just turn the lights of and have sex before even knowing what a penis looks like, you'll spend your whole life very sheltered, scared and or off put. Don't stick anything into before you know what it looks like, it's common sense. Rather than thinking of a relationship like a committed mariage which it isn't. Think more along the lines of you two people enjoying eachother's comapany, understanding each other and with this bond learning somthing together just for yourselves. Sex and loosing your virginity are special moments. But they arn't stuff like the movies. Relationships tend to be more like romeo and juliet than cinderella and prince charming. Try not to be influenced by tv it's probably the worst mistake you can make when it comes to this. Devine intervention is not going to tell you who is the right or the wrong person to take your virginity. So commuication with that person is the most essential thing you can have. I can't stress how important it is enough. Apart from the more mental sides of sex. As mature as you maybe don't have children untill you can afford them. So make sure your man wares a condom, this habit is good to get used to. I wouldn't advise taking any other form of contraception at this stage. Being comfortable with unprotected sex isn't always a good thing. Don't take the pill unless you are sure you can remember to take a pill everyday. Mind you worrying about babies all the time isn't that good for your sex drive and more importantly his.

Another thing, two thirds of teen relationship break up within three weeks after having sex. Don't let your heart guide you. Your heart is usually bypast in these situations. Let your understand of your partner be your best guide.

It would be pointless for me to tell you the ins and out of how to have sex. Because it's somthing you should figure out for yourself. As long as you know the basics of how children are made you should be alright. Humans are more instinctive than you might think.