I am a man of 39 in his second marriage
with four step children the youngest of
which is 14yrs and two of my own with my
first wife. We, my step family and I live
together and I see my own children once a
fortnight and about 10 days a year. My
kids used to come over and stay every
fortnight at weekends and now because my
wife does not get on with my kids, mine
are 12 and 6. I only see them once a
fortnight with no stay over.
I have just started a business and
involved the step kids as much as possible
particularly the eldest. He is 18 nearly
19 and his interest seems to be waning.
This I can understand but he can not be
bothered to get out of bed and do
anything. My wife won’t kick him out or
make him find a job. The deal was
originally that he would work about 7hrs a
day on the site in return for use of her
car and free board. Then if the business
was a success he would be free to buy his
own property or car. But he’s just not
putting in the hours he just sees his
girlfriend and generally dosses.
I am working up to 18 hrs a day and feel
that a bit of support from my wife is
essential. I have made sacrifices
regarding my own kids yet she will not do
anything regarding hers which causes me to
think, well what the hell, nobody else in
this household is interested in making a
success of this business why should I and
I want to start going to the pub etc…
when we first got married she was working
and two months later she gave it up for
reasons that she said was pressure, sales
targets etc. But she could easily help
out on the internet business we have
started, but she says she has too much to
do around the house.
All this is getting me stressed and short
tempered. I think I am getting paranoid
that they are just are just sponging off
of me though I am sure we were very much
in love when we got married. We live in a
very nice house have a very nice car. But
even though my job is good, I hate it. I
always wonder whats going on at home. And
then i’m so angry because nothing much has
been done, on the business, I just want to
go out myself, with my wife. I am good at
my job, but I just hate it now, but I
think I know changing jobs is not the
answer. My boss is great. Hes laid back
and lets me do what I want to. I’m bored
at work, worry whats happening at home and
when I am at work and when I get arrive
home I do not won’t to be in any more
because I think everyone should be pulling
together towards the family business.
I just do not know what to do. I also
wanna see my kids more but I know that
causes problems I just do not know what to
do. When I wake up in the morning I know
exactly what will happen a boring day a
work doing what I want, getting good
money,
get home from work, work on the business
enthusiastically then get cheesed off when
I find out that not a lots been done.
Then when I say lets go out my wife will
say we can’t afford it.
Could this be just a mid life crisis or
something more serious like paranoia, its
getting me down angry and stressed, it
even makes me have the "occasional"
spliff.
I also feel that whats the point. There
must be more to life
|
erlybo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 22 Location: Virginia
Re Posted: 08-17-04 20:09pm
You should sit your wife down and say to
her what you just said here. Your
happiness is very important and will
effect your health and every aspect of
your life. Your kids will be your kids
forever and will hold much resentment
against you for not being a stronger part
in their life.
I love my husband and it's true love I
never ever would put restrictions on his
life that really effected his happiness.
My father didn't see us much, he spent
much more time with his second wife and 21
years later there is still much tension
there.
Please you only have one life(at least I
think) and it's very very important that
you are happy and get the most out of it
that you can. Someone that is in love
with you thinks your happiness is very
important.
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
