I Just Need to Know

Hi, firstly you need to know: was the epilepsy a result of an accident etc or was he born with it. Epilepsy can be heridtry,but epilepsy can "generally" be controlled.
Yes alcohol is not good for people with epilepsy , but unless he is having a lot of seizures ,one drink with friends say once a week would not "i believe" greatly have an adverse effect on him, but this does depend on the severity and frequency of his seizures.

If you really want to stop him drinking and he wants to marry you, you could always put a hold to the wedding day til he stops for a period where you believe he will no longer drink.
Another point you may like to cosider, every one wants to be cured or get 100% control of thier epilepsy but it is not always possible , so one needs to consider , do I take so many tablets that even though it controls my epilepsy one cant function properly,be clear minded, or live a normal life, or do you find mediocracy and and accept the fact you may have a 5 or so seizures a month but are able to live a fairly normal life and be clear minded .
Good luck

Hi tina,
epilepsy aside his alcohol problem may cause you more grief and be harder on you than the epilepsy itself.
I was married to an alcoholic not much older than you. I am remarried now to a man who has become very ill. I would deal any day with the illnesses he has over alcoholism of my ex. My life is uncertain at times over my husband illness. Quite stressful at times. But the alcohol in my first marriage was devastating to me emotionally and financially.

I am trying not to be negative and be gentle with you. I think you are already feeling the pain of his addiction. Not a good place to be at all.

The sad part is no matter how much we want them to stop they have to love themselves enough to stop. Our love alone won't make it happen. He has to see for himself this life he chooses is no good for him or you. No amount of begging and pleading rarely if ever helps. Contact aa for more info on this. Educate yourself more so you can make a good decision for you and any children to come.

An alcoholic parent can bring a child predisposed to alcoholism through genes. Sort of like in the blood. The child is just born with it. My father was an alcoholic. He never stopped for long till he was diagnosed with cancer. He died 3 years ago sober.
But of 8 kids I am one of the few who do not drink. I did drink. I was diagnosed with epilepsy and stopped. I also had my children too. I have occasionally had a wine out to dinner. Very rare though. It is okay like that. I just don't want to take any chances with my life and a seizure.
I have a brother who is a fullblown alcoholic. Another brother who has passed away but had drinking and drug problems. And a sister who drinks. Addictions can run in families is what I am trying to say. I consider myself one of the lucky ones or just one who chose not to have their kind of life.

Good luck in what ever decision you make. I hope he quites for you but mainly himself.

It is hard to make someone else change because you want them to. Your fiance should ask his neuro if it is ok to drink...Many of the meds for epilepsy do not get along well with alcohol and it can lower the threshold and make seizures occur...


Best wishes.