Iam 19yrs and going out with someone who
is 24. As a matter of fact he is my
fiance.The only problem is that he wants
to marry me right away and I don't feel
the same.He suffers from epilepsy and I
think he wants to marry me because I
understand his problem, he drinks like he
doesn't know its not good for him and
smokes and pretends to listen when I tell
him to stop. He tells me he loves me but
why the hell does he not listen to me.
Hes doublecrossed me a few times before
and I forgave him but now that he is
mentioning marraige I can't help but
wonder if I will go through the same thing
again.
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JanetBee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Apr 2004 Posts: 332
Posted: 08-18-04 04:15am
You are right to be cautious, and you
should not let him pressure you into
getting married. That is something you
should only do if you are absolutely
convinced that this is the person, exactly
as they are, that you can see yourself
spending the rest of your life with.
Marriage needs to be a mutually supportive
relationship, and you don't want to find
yourself with someone who is only
dependent on you and doesn't think of your
needs as well.
As you say, his reasons for wanting to
marry you don't seem that sincere and
committed either. It actually sounds like
he is having a bit of trouble dealing with
him condition, and might benefit from
counselling.
Once he has matured a bit, you might find
that marriage becomes a more interesting
option. In the meantime, you are very
young and it isn't wrong to think that
maybe this isn't the right relationship
for you yet.
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 08-19-04 20:44pm
It's hard to be in a relationship with
someone who is self-destructing.He knows
he should not drink,but still does.You say
he has not been trustworthy a few times.He
wants to get married right away.Does he
think you might change your mind if he
doen't marry you now?19 is very young and
you might very well change your
mind.Perhaps that is not a bad thing.If
you are asking if you should marry
someone,then you have just answered your
own question.If you are sure if you should
marry,you don't need anyone's
clarification,you are already sure.Best of
luck to you.Patty
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tinahenry
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Zambia
Trust Posted: 08-28-04 08:22am
Hey :d
thanks a lot for your replies they did do
something you know
i think am too yong and I won't go on with
the relationship
