I Am Frustrated About Having Sex With My Wife Pls Pls Help Posted: 08-18-04 06:30am
I am 28 and wife is 22. It's been 8
months since we married. From the
beginning she used to have a pain when
making love.
During the early days we used to make love
very often ( every other day).
I have noticed her get wet only a very few
times (4 or five times).
( she's now pregnant (28 weeks))
so a few months ago I tried a lubricant.
Even that did not work. She still has the
pain. I do lot of forplay trying to make
her wet. I do simulate the clit too. But
still she does not get wet. I am so much
frustrated and help less.
Last time when I tried to enter her she
screamed and I could do nothing rather
than pulling out. And this time the pain
was more severe . She continued to have
the pain for about 10 , 15 minutes even
after pulling out.
I was so much worried cos she is
pregnant.
I am a lean fellow. I wonder why she does
not get excited. What should I do to get
rid of the problem . Our forplay normally
last more than half an hour. Is it
enough? Do I have to increase the
duration .
Normally what's the duration of the
forplay an average woman needs ?
Should we consult a doctor fo this.
Please help me. I have found it
miserable.
Bugbunny
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Effervescence
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Aug 2004 Posts: 34
Posted: 08-19-04 11:57am
Definately have her see a doctor!!!! I
also have severe pain during intercourse.
It's a condition called dyspareunia (i am
not sure about that spelling) there are
many things that could be causing it. I
personally have been to several doctors
over the past year, and we are still
ruling things out. She should set up an
appointment with her gyn asap. They can
give her suggestions for easing the pain
until they can get to the bottom of it.
Make sure she goes prepared though, I was
rather caught off gaurd with some of the
questions they asked. They may ask
personal questions such as exactly where
the pain is, what part of intercourse
causes the pain, how deep is penetration
when the pain begins, can she describe the
pain, etc.
sometimes the questions seem embarassing,
but they are important. Have her google
or web search dyspareunia. Maybe she can
find symptoms like hers or close to hers,
so she can take it to the doctor and say
"this is what i'm feeling." unfortunately,
there are a lot of doctors who do not know
the reasons for dyspareunia, so her doing
some research herself may help the doctor
understand what she is feeling. They will
also do a physical exam.
Because your wife is pregnant, I am not
sure what they can do for her. My doctors
have tried a few different antibiotics,
birth control (the hormones are supposed
to help) and over the counter pain
killers. I am also going to counseling to
help me cope with the psychological damage
the pain has caused (even the thought of
sex gives me pains now) and my husband is
coming with me next week. Painful
intercourse can have emotional effects for
both of you. Make sure any lubricant you
use with her is water soluable, and have
her urinate and wash with luke-warm water
after intercourse. She shouldn't take
bubble baths, as that makes the area more
sensitive and prone to infection.
My pain still occurs, so I can't give any
real surefire "this is what I did and the
problem went away" solutions. I hope what
i've told you has helped, and good luck!
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 08-19-04 12:19pm
Some women just don't get wet like others
do. It doesn't mean there is anything
wrong with her or that she is not excited.
One of the common misconceptions is that
if the girl is wet then she is excited.
If you play around down there, she can get
wet and still not be remotely excited.
Or vice versa.
Anyway, the pain could be several
different things. She could have a
tipped uterus. She could have
endometriosis. She could have a cyst, an
infection or pid. So, yes, she should
definately get to a doctor and see what is
causing the pain. However, since she is
pregnant I am assuming she has been to a
gyno recently and should already know why
she has painful intercourse.
Lube is a great idea no matter what the
cause is. Even if you two can work on
the pain part of it, still use lube to
make things easier.
I wish you both luck. Some of the above
conditions that I listed can be helped and
some cannot. For a tipped uterus they
tell you to try different positions, but
for a lot of people it hurts anyway. You
can go on birth control for endo, get
surgery to remove the tissue and go on
pain pills. However, endo can be very,
very painful and few women get relief.
Good luck!
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 08-19-04 20:09pm
Have her tell her doctor!There's no reason
for the poor thing to suffer.Her lack of
lubrication is not related to her level of
excitement,she obviously has a medical
problem.Don't let her suffer in
silence,get her the help she needs!!As far
as foreplay goes,we are all different and
there is no set number of minutes or hours
we need!!Good luck to both of you!!Patty
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
sometimes the questions seem embarassing,
but they are important. Have her google
or web search dyspareunia. Maybe she can
find symptoms like hers or close to hers,
so she can take it to the doctor and say
"this is what i'm feeling." unfortunately,
there are a lot of doctors who do not know
the reasons for dyspareunia, so her doing
some research herself may help the doctor
understand what she is feeling. They will
also do a physical exam.
