Joined: 21 Aug 2004 Posts: 1 Location: New Zealand
Advice On Asking Out a Workmate Posted: 08-21-04 04:54am
For over three years now i've liked and
wanted to ask out a college at work,
(we'll call her emma)
i know dating a workmate can lead to all
sorts of unhappy endings but we don't
actually 'work' together, but more for the
same company. She works down the hall and
I don't interact with her for work
reasons, we really just meet at social
drinks after work on fridays, (bar opens
up in the main conference room so it is
'at' work).
Of late she's been making a concerted
effort to join conversations that i'm
involved in during these social drinks
which suggests to me she may be
interested. I think she might know I like
her following drinks a few weeks ago when
she was making continual eye contact.
She can come off a little cold, or closed
off but I think this is shyness or maybe
lack of confidence around some people.
I work quite closely with a friend of hers
and was entertaining the idea of asking
her what emma's situation is. I know
she's single atm but thought this might be
a better way of feeling out the ground
without outright embarrissing both of us
should I ask emma out thereby putting her
on the spot. I know emma's friend would
tell her I was asking after her which
would get the ball rolling.
We also shop at the same supermarket, but
I don't want to wait till I see her there
again before asking her out. (figured
this might be more comfortable for her
rather than asking her out at work). I
feel the window of opportunity is closing
and any delays could mean I lose her to
someone else.
Any suggestions for a guy who's a bit
unsure and doesn't want to do the wrong
thing?
Thanks.
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baby_b_u_g
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Aug 2004 Posts: 6 Location: Washington State
Hmmm Sticky Situation Posted: 08-23-04 15:56pm
I know how the whole work situation thing
can go but if you dont see her at work or
work directly with her so to speak why
not? I mean this is only my opinion
however I say go for it but I would
suggest maybe going directly to her so you
dont come off as not being brave enough to
talk to her directly I dunno guess it all
depends on the gal, however I myself like
it better when I am approached directly
vs. Through a friend that how things get
jumbled
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JanetBee
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Apr 2004 Posts: 332
Posted: 08-26-04 12:34pm
Yes, definitely approach her yourself,
unless you are only 14 years old!!
It sounds from your description that she
would be interested, but the thing would
be to keep it quite casual, and not let it
be awkward. So try to bump into her, or
the next time you see her, just say,
"don't suppose you wanna go for a drink
after work?" or if you are out in a group,
just catch her eye and hold it that little
bit too long and see what she does, if she
doesn't look away straight away or look
annoyed at you, then you should be able to
figure out from a chat if she is
interested or not, and if you have any
interests in common, like maybe you both
like bike riding or modern art or sumo
wrestling or whatever, you can arrange to
do something on the weekend.
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pitterpatter
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2004 Posts: 619 Location: United States
Posted: 08-28-04 00:04am
My suggestion is try and become her friend
before you start asking her out on dates.
Maybe try and get her to laugh by telling
her a joke or something. Girls like
humor and if you can get them to laugh
you've got it down. However, don't try
and be funny if you're not naturally
funny. Then it's like your trying to be
someone else. Don't know, but I used to
be shy even though I was fairly well liked
and popular. I didn't like it if a guy
came off as a cocky person who thinks
they'll get whatever they want. Just be
yourself and be a friend first and
foremost. Maybe, ask her out for a
drink, but keep it casual. If she says
no i've got plans say something like "come
on you can spare ten minutes can't you?"
this way you're not cocky, but your also
not begging. If you make it out like
it's just for fun and no romance, she'll
probably be more interested. Once you
get her to do that then the rest just
falls into place. Hope this helps!
