I'm not sure where the root of this
problem lies, and I asn't sure which
category to post this under, but here I go
anyway. I've really had problems with
socializing recently. I just don't have
anything to say, nothing interesting to
bring up, so I usually just listen, and I
think many people take this as being
anti-social. On the contrary, really
want to be the opposite, especially in
relationships. Whenever a guy approaches
me, or flirts with me, or asks me out, I
avoid the question or just say no. When
people try and get close to me, I push
them away. I'm not sure if this might
have something to do with the fact that my
dad used to be abusive. Now it's milder;
he just screams at me all the time for any
little thing he can think of. My theory
is that because of my hatred and fear
towards my dad, I am afraid of a similar
relationship with others. Or I don't know
how to socialize with them because my
whole life all I did was argue with my
father or submitted quietly as he yelled
in my face. Am I making sense? Or do I
just have problems with my social life?
|
BabyPassion
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Sep 2003 Posts: 94 Location: Bronx, NY
Hello Posted: 09-30-03 22:29pm
Hello there,
I just posted a story of my life that
had to do with sexual abuse...It's in the
pregnancy forum under sexual abuse and
depression...Maybe it can help.....But any
how....I think you are hold yourself back
from guys because of your relationship
with your father. I can understand where
you are coming from and I don't blame
you.....But I think the best way to get
past this part of you life is to go on
that date......Or just talk to someone you
like.....Trust me not everyone is like
your father...There are good sweet guys
out there that won't hurt you, physically
are mentally......I don't know what else
to tell you at this moment but I will let
you know if some pops in to my head...If
you want to talk email or im me or pm
me....And i'll be listening
your friend
passion keep in touch
|
KMartinez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2003 Posts: 18
Hey Posted: 10-01-03 20:45pm
I know where u are coming from. My father
didnt abuse me but constenly lied and hurt
me. This caused me to never trust guys.
I havent fully goten over it but im
starting to, I learned not everyone is out
there to hurt me. Just remember be ur
self anyone u doesnt love u for that
doesnt deserve ur time. Does ur dad drink
alot? Or are there problems between him
and ur mother? Things like that could
cause him pain and suffering that he just
doesnt know what to do with. Stay
strong!
K
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sarahauntie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Oct 2003 Posts: 54 Location: St. Louis, Mo
I Know What You Mean! Posted: 10-20-03 20:56pm
My dad didn't yell at me or anything, just
lots of different stuff. He used to throw
cockroaches at my sister and me. And he
slept around on my mom. He also used to
masturbate when I was sitting on his lap
as a little girl. I didn't know what was
going on then, but i'm 18 now, and I
remember stuff. Don't worry, I used to be
like you. I think I just started at a
younger age. Now, I use humor as a
deflector, and I still have problems with
bottling up my feelings which has lead to
medical problems. The only real advice
that I have for you, and I hope it's
helpful, but you need to be brave. I know
it seems like your in a bottomless pitt
right now, but i've escaped, and so will
you! I know it sounds corny, but time
does help. Go out with a group, even if
you don't feel comfortable! Eventually,
you'll be a new person. If you ever want
to talk, e-mial me!
Good luck!
|
sarahauntie
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Oct 2003 Posts: 54 Location: St. Louis, Mo
You There! Posted: 10-27-03 12:46pm
Hey chica,
haven't heard from you in a while, just
checking up. If you ever want to talk you
can pm me or e-mail me at yahoo. My
address is in my profile. Hope things are
going well!
|
Helden
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Oct 2003 Posts: 12
Is It Possible.... Posted: 10-28-03 03:55am
.....You just feel you need a little
peace? You are saying that first your
dad was hitting, and now he's screaming.
That might make a girl feel that the best
way to stay out of trouble is to keep her
mouth shut. Is there anyone at all that
you like & trust who could help you
with your unhappy family situation?
That's the primary problem here...And no
amount of trying to be friendly or
socializing is going to help you until you
feel safe & accepted at home.
|
SandQueen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Nov 2003 Posts: 5
Fathers And Abuse Posted: 11-07-03 20:58pm
Hey, feeling safe and secure at home is a
big thing, but feeling secure in yourself
is a better thing. Start a hobby or read
in a library or coffee shop, get to know
yourself a little first. Friends will
follow find those who are confident in
themselves. It takes time... But don't
worry. If you just trust that you can
get through life with your father yelling
at you by being yourself and finding a
place to go to to relax at, then you can
do anything.
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