Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 852 Location: grand blanc michigan
Need Some Honest Opinions Please! Posted: 08-31-04 17:30pm
Hi everyone! K im havin some kinda
difficult situations we'll see if ya can
help me with * first off, so all of you
know, garret is 6 weeks because his age
may matter in it* its a little long but
please help!
1st prob: I want to date.. Because I do
want to get into a relationship if it
comes to me and 'settle down' or just meet
someone worth while. . Well at the
same time.. Do you think its too soon?
Im not sure. Because if I end up with
someone, or date, it leaves less time for
garret and I already work full time. I
mean I know I can have him with me , but
not every single time on a date or when im
with a guy ya know? I met this guy at
work today, and I mean who knows what will
happen but we went to lunch and he seems
awesome and hes supposed to call tonite.
What do you think ??? This guy has a 8
yr old son! Lol hes 26 but also had a
kid at 18 and so far he seems awesome. I
met him online the other day and he just
so happened to work where I do! But even
if I dont end up with him, just the dating
situation in general.
2nd prob: I got in a fight with ryan (the
dad) today.. And he called and wanted to
pick up garret again (he did sunday for 3
hours) but I put him on hold to think
about it because I just got home from work
and didnt see him all day and I only have
a few hours a day now.. So I came back
and said ok but only for an hour or so and
I asked what they were going to do..
Well he snapped at me and said he didnt
need a reason and bla bla bla.. So I
snapped back and said hes lucky to see him
because he has no visitation rights yet
and he didnt want the baby to begin with!
So then he said nevermind forget it and
hung up. I mean I dont want my son to
not see his father.. So maybe I need to
change my ways? But at the same time.
I soooooo resent him from how he was
during the pregnancy and how he acted and
the terrible things he said about the
baby..Plus, its only my 2nd day back to
work. . What do u think about this?
Sorry so long!
|
Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 08-31-04 17:35pm
I think you should do what feels right.
I disagree with the idea that just because
some guy donated his sperm to your baby he
should have rights - only proper fathers
should have any rights to kids, if they
didn't do anything while you were pregnant
then tough, if they wanted to be involved
they had nine months to do something about
it.
As for dating, well if the right come
comes along he won't mind garrett being
around and if you have to cancel a date
cuz garrett is sick or something he'll be
real nice and say don't worry and bring
you take out and come round and help you
out
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Michelle1337
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 1739 Location: Houston, Texas
Posted: 08-31-04 17:35pm
I dont think its a bad idea to date, but
you have to keep in mind. That if
garret is meeting all these guys and then
they keep coming in and out of his life he
is going to become very confused. So
you need to think about that.
And as far as the father situation goes, I
dont know what to tell you. He is
garrets father and I am sure he loves him
and wants to be with him. So if you
want garret to know his father you should
let him spend time with him. But if he
is gonna be a jerk about...Just be like go
away. Haha
Ok. Problem 1: huni, if it feels like the
right time to date..... Go for it.
You'll have to learn how to juggle, work,
motherhood, and dating. But everyone
deserves some "me" time. And if you want
to date, it doesn't make you a bad mother
as long as garret doesn't get pushed away
for some man, which I know will never be a
problem with you! So I say go for it!
As for ryan.... Well, I am not a
forgiving person so I think that you have
a right to be very angry at all the things
he did to you while you were preggy. I
mean, he didn't want garret nor did he
even believe garret was his! So......
You do want him to see his daddy, but if
you make it a little hard, it's ok! Ryan
should have to work to see his child! I
don't think you are wrong at all!
Love,
chanda
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tweety12986
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jun 2004 Posts: 772 Location: houston
Posted: 08-31-04 17:53pm
Ok the dating situation I say ease your
way into it, it seems like you are on the
right track with that, and as far as ryan
goes you have a right to know where he is
taking your son, he could runaway to
mexico or something. So if he said forget
it cuz you wanna know where your son is
going to be when he his with him, then
forget it dont let him take garret.
Meagan
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sweetsuzi
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 May 2004 Posts: 831 Location: Bonny Scotland
Posted: 08-31-04 18:30pm
Yeah there is nothing to feel guilty about
going out on a date with a guy. You
should just go for it and make yourself
feel good at the same time. As for ryan,
I can only guess how you feel I would
resent him having anything to do with him
either. But I guess for garrets sake it's
a good thing he is wanting to see him and
spend time with him and bond...
Just one little step at a time, but start
with getting that guy to ask you out and
making you feel good and getting that
confidence back........
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TiNaBo0314
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 273 Location: Maryland
Posted: 08-31-04 20:15pm
I totally agree with everyone, I am also
wanting to date again and kaelyn is 8
weeks but I have been feeling like that
for a couple weeks now. I say go for it
and as for the father, I think that maybe
u should allow him to come over ur place
(if its ok with ur fam) to spend time with
garrett so u can monitor how he does with
him. But if he is going to be a jerk then
forget about it but it does seem to me
that he wants to be in his life. My
baby's father was never there when I was
pregnant and called maybe once a month but
then all the sudden whens he was born boom
he was there wanting to be stuck up my ass
so I snapped at him and now he isn't there
at all and sometimes I wonder if what I
said chased him away and I feel bad
because now I really want him there and he
isn't, so if he is truly wanting to be
there then I say let him but if it makes u
more comfortable then see how he does with
him in front of u.
Good luck hunni <3
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little_woman
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Mar 2004 Posts: 765
Posted: 08-31-04 21:01pm
Kari!!!
Ok as for dating, I think its healthy for
you to date but dont go looking for a
relationship right away....You might fall
into the pattern of thinking everyone you
meet is the right one, and dont put
yourself or garrett through that
heartache. But hey one date wont hurt!
As for *daddy* let him still see the lil
one but really regulate how much time he
gets with him, try to be with him when he
sees garrett *if you can stand him of
course* and yes he doesnt deserve any
rights to him at all since he insisted on
taking a d.N,a test. Hope things work out
k?
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
and as for the father, I think that maybe
u should allow him to come over ur place
(if its ok with ur fam) to spend time with
garrett so u can monitor how he does with
him. But if he is going to be a jerk then
forget about it but it does seem to me
that he wants to be in his life. My
baby's father was never there when I was
pregnant and called maybe once a month but
then all the sudden whens he was born boom
he was there wanting to be stuck up my ass
so I snapped at him and now he isn't there
at all and sometimes I wonder if what I
said chased him away and I feel bad
because now I really want him there and he
isn't, so if he is truly wanting to be
there then I say let him but if it makes u
more comfortable then see how he does with
him in front of u.
