Okay girls well in case you don't know I
am extremely obessive compulsive. I
developed this when I broke up with my
fiancee about four years ago. I
developed really bad anxiety,
stomach/bowel problems (sorry tmi) and all
kinds of crap. Plus I have suffered from
depression my whole life(anger turned
inward).
Well, I used to be obsessive about my
house being clean. I mean, freakin
clean. You could eat off of the toilet
(if you really wanted too
)and I was also very ocd about my job. I
was the best employee they could have ever
had. I just had an attitude because I
got mad at everyone else for not doing
anything.
Anyway, I got medicated for my anxiety
about four years ago and became a
completely lazy piece of poopy. I just
thought I was useless and never realized
it was from my medication. I mean, I
quit my job, quit school, quit paying my
bills. I just gave up.
Well, I just went off of zoloft about a
month ago. I am so angry at everyone and
everything!
I cannot eat. I mean, I can and I do
because I have to, but urgh.
I got a breakfast burrito value meal from
mcdonald's today (because I was running
late). I was driving down the road and
eating it when I bit into something hard.
I have no idea what it was, nor do I want
to know, but it took everything I had not
to throw up. I mean, even two hours
later in class I almost threw up just
thinking about it.
Plus, and here is the big thing. My
mother is a doing it slob. I mean, her
hair always ends up everywhere and I mean
everywhere! Even in the kitchen
and I really, really, really super hate
hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She walks around the house (like she is
doing right now) in a shirt and underwear.
She sits right in this room with me when
I am trying to study/read/watch t.V or do
this, and talks my freakin ear off! I
don't care!!!!!!!!!!!I hate to say it, but
why is it my job to be her only friend?
I am sorry that she doesn't have any
friends but how is that my problem? My
dad left her last year after 30 years of
marriage (and this is the only reason I
moved home from myrtle beach anyway). I
am the only one of her kids that feels
that I need to be here for her. I am
just afraid she will kill herself.
I mean, she was abused as a child and has
every right to be the way that she is.
Her parents made her work the farm until
all hours of the night, never went to any
of her school functions, didn't feed her
and beat her. I honestly think she was
also sexually abused. So, I can
understand that she is depressed/lonely
and that she doesn't want to do any
housework whatsoever.
But, oooh. Girls, I seriously cannot
live here any longer!!!!!!!!!I will go
crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I need
out!!!!!!!!!!!!But, I cannot find a job
and cannot find an apartment until I have
a job, and I just am so stressed out.
I need to lose weight anyway, but I don't
want to do it by starving myself.
However, the longer I live here the harder
it is for me to eat anything at all.
Sorry this is so long. I am so desperate
right now! I cannot take it!
Huni, I have no clue as to what I am
suposed to say to you. I started zoloft
and it's helping me tremendously! But
that's just me. Maybe try another type of
med? I dunno. Huni I iwhs I could help
you.....
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-02-04 15:04pm
Ah it's all good. No one can really do
anything. I just needed to vent.
I am done with meds though. They took
over too much of my life. I am going to
rough this out! Once I get on my own I
will be fine!
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lilmama2b_oct04
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Mar 2004 Posts: 1970 Location: Wisconsin
Posted: 09-02-04 16:17pm
I think its a good idea to be done with
meds, because after awhile, you will
become dependent on them. Normally, after
people get out of the tough days and get
on their feet, they no longer really
actually have a need for the meds, other
than the fact that they have become
dependent. That is the reason my mom took
me off of paxil and concerta... She did
not want me to be dependent on some
medication just because im suffering from
everyday normal teenager(but not just
teenager, also young adults) depression.
She decided that when im older, if I need
meds in college to concentrate, then I
will be put on them, but only if it is a
must. Until then, I will remain med free.
I dont want to have to take a pill for
the rest of my life. Your body will find
its own natural ways to deal with
problems, but it cannot do it if it is
being taken care of with chemicals.
Although, there are some people out there
that really do need their meds, most
people on meds would have been able to
work out their problems. I hope
everything gets better for you. I wish
you luck with finding a job and an
apartment. Oh yea, and tell your mom to
stop feeling sorry for herself and to get
up and enjoy life! Let her know she
cannot be dependent on you, or you may
never really actually get away from her.
Dont let her suck you down with her. I
hope you did not find any of this
offensive.
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newlife
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Jun 2004 Posts: 874
Posted: 09-02-04 16:42pm
Omg, we have so much in common.I was
diagnosed with depression, and I was told
that I have an anger management problem.
They were thinking about locking me up in
a mental hospital, b/c of things that I
did when I was younger, and b/c of what
sent me to jail (for one night), when I
was 13. But I won't get into that. They
put me on meds, and my mom basically
forced me to take them. After a while I
just stopped. And I feel you on the mom
thing too. My mom and I don't really get
along, but when she needs or feels like
talking to someone she talks to me. And
she has, friends but sometimes I just feel
really bad for her,out of all of her
children I am the only one that takes time
to listen, and I am the one that takes
care of her when she is sick. But anyway,
she ran away from home when she was 17, to
live with my daddy, and his family. Her
daddy is the nicest person in the world,
but her mother is truely evil. My grandma
is about 75, she has 8 children, and most
of them have scattered out around the
country to stay away from her. And my
uncle steven, used to be an accountant and
a marketer for the lakers. He had lived
in cali since I was about 6. He moved
back down here, to take a position as the
sports marketing director for dillard (a
college) when I was 12. Anyway, he was
down here for 3 months and my grandma
didn't even know. And when she did
finfdout, she read it in the newspaper.
Anyway, when they were kids, she punished
them a lot, and if she punished kids like
that today her old, a$$ would be in jail.
She used to lock them in a closet, while
they were on their knees on rice. And she
is the reason, that my grandpa is blind in
one eye. He came in late one night, and
she beat him in the head with a cast iron
pan, and my daddy and my uncle dy had to
take him to the hospital. My mom, had it
when she tried to beat her with a rod,
that is why she ran way. And to this day,
I can't see why my mother can have a half
way civil relationship with her. But the
difference with my mom is that she is a
neat freak, and so am I to some degree.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-03-04 23:01pm
I am a neat freak now! Omg! Badly. I
think she drove me to that...But that is
one of the reasons why me being here now
is driving me crazy.
She does bring me down. But I do care
about her. I mean, I am not very nice to
her to be perfectly honest because she
drives me f-ing crazy. But I worry about
her 24/7.
Lilmama- no I didn't find any of that
offensive. That is exactly what she
needs to do! But she is 50 and hasn't
done it yet, so I see no hope. And you
cannot tell her that she has issues or
that she needs help or anything because
she gets pissed off. She doesn't need
help! (that is what she says) but then at
the same time she tells me that I need
help and it is perfectly okay. what?
Why is it okay for me, but not for her?
Whatever. I mean yes, she has issues
mainly from her family, and my issues are
mainly from her. She never should have
had kids until she worked out her issues.
Here I am 25, my sis27 and my bro almost
22 and she is just getting worse.
Newlife: my parents did put me in a mental
institution when I was 15. I was in
there 17 days and it was the longest 17
days of my life!
I am not psycho, crazy etc. I do suffer
from depression and now from that I
developed really bad anxiety. But, I do
not need to be locked up! I will never
forgive them for that! Never!
I used to need anger management bad like,
but of course wouldn't admit it. I was a
very, very mean and bad teenager. But my
anger came from my mother. I always
blamed both of my parents, but it is
mainly my mother. My father is also to
blame because he always agreed with her.
I know now that he was just trying to
avoid fighting with her, but that was not
fair to me! At all!
But when I hit like 18/19 my anger went
away. But now, I dont know if it is
because I just went off of meds or if it
is because I just quit smoking and
drinking, but I am sooooo mad all of the
time! I seriously fear that I may really
hurt someone if they f-ck with me when I
am in a mood.
Thanks for understanding girls. It means
a lot.
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TiNaBo0314
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 273 Location: Maryland
Posted: 09-03-04 23:11pm
I had a problem with self mutilation from
when I was 13-16 yrs old and was at
calvert memorial hospital 2 times in the
psych ward....Well anyway they put me on
zoloft and it helped me out like u
wouldn't believe I was the happiest person
in the world but a couple months after I
found out I was preggie I quit zoloft and
I turned into a very meaaaaaan person I
mean I was a bytch my doc sed that coming
down from zoloft makes ur lows super low
and that probably explains ur situation a
lil. Also I am obsessive about pulling my
hair out which is funny bcuz u sed u hate
hair ( I dont pull it out very much
anymore but I was diagnosed with
trichotillomania [where u pull ur hair
out] and its a form of ocd) its funny that
after I had kaelyn my problems basically
went away but good luck and I hope that u
feel better =)
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-03-04 23:19pm
Lol. I do hate hair. But, more body
hair if ya know what I mean????
I am glad that you are better. That is
awesome. Pregnancy can do so much bad to
your body, but it can also do good! (to
your body I am talking...I know that
having a baby can be a good thing!)
hopefully I am just really maaaad because
of the zoloft withdrawal. I hope that is
all that it is and that it gets better.
Hey, I heard that phil hartman's wife
shot him when she was coming off of zoloft
and drinking. Something to think about!
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Re: Serious Problem(s) Posted: 09-04-04 02:27am
hotasfrick
wrote:
i was also very ocd about my
job. I was the best employee they could
have ever had. I just had an attitude
because I got mad at everyone else for not
doing
anything.
wow, I don't suffer anywhere near as
badly, but this bit struck me because it's
me!
I drives me sooooo potty when people can't
staple a receipt to the back of a docket,
fold it in half and file in in the order
they did them!
Ohh gosh and when a customer pays by
credit card and I tell them to sign the
bottom, and they say "where, here?"
pointing at the middle.
In my head i'm like " no you stupid
f**kwit since when has the bottom being in
the middle?" or on refund receipts and
i'll say "can you sign here" and put a
.B.I.G .X for them so the sign somewhere
else or the fill out their address - what
are people really so stupid? But it gets
into my head that they are doing it on
purpose and it must be just to wind me up
because they want to get to me.
But most of the time I can contol my self
and just have a good old whinge to himself
later on when he picks me up.
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-04-04 02:32am
Oh, when I worked at a nearby mall we had
the dumbest people on earth come in there.
At least I pray no one is dumber. Like
we had a sign that said, "we now have
chicken noodle soup" you know what they
would ask???? "oh, you have soup....What
kind?"
duh!
And we even had one lady come in and ask
where the mall was. My manager told her
to get back in her car and turn right,
blah blah. He gave her all kinds of
directions! It was so funny because she
was obviously already at the mall!
People are idiotic
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003 Posts: 1762 Location: Venice, Florida
Posted: 09-04-04 10:29am
I agree with april about the meds....I was
diagnosed with depression when I was 11.
And at 12 I was put on lexapro. After my
mom and I getting into a fight about
camerin, she threatened to put a
restraining order on him, and so I
swallowed an entire bottle of those pills
(i didnt know they wouldnt do anything but
make me sick) I was baker acted in a
mental hospital, and they ended up keeping
me an extra day. It was the most horrible
4 days of my life. I still have
nightmares about it! And then they put me
on risperdal and effexor, which I stopped
taling 2 months laer when I suspected I
was pregnant. Then my grandma found out
and forced me to take it. Lol I dont even
remember where I was going with this.
Just living out a bad memories I guess.
Hard to believe I went that overboard over
a guy.....Lol. He really means a lot to
me!
)and I was also very ocd about my job. I
was the best employee they could have ever
had. I just had an attitude because I
got mad at everyone else for not doing
anything.
