Can You Tell Who the Father Is? Posted: 09-09-04 11:34am
Hello everyone! I am a first timer here,
but I do hope a few of you can help answer
a few questions. My x-girlfriend and I
were having unprotected sex for about 3
months. The last time she had her period
was in the middle of june. We have taken
3 different home pregnancy tests and they
all came out negative. The last time we
had sex was on aug 21st. She had already
broken up with me the week before (aug
14th). Yesterday she calls me and tells
me she is pregnant, but the baby is not
mine! she tells me that
she had sex with her x-boyfriend the day
she broke up with me. Yet we still had
sex the week after, even though I did not
know what she had done. Well my questions
now are... It has only been 26 days since
she supposedly had sex with her
x-boyfriend, could she already know that
she's 1 month pregnant? Also she tells me
that the baby is her x's and not mine.
Can she medically already know this as
well? Please help.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 09-09-04 15:11pm
She could possibly know she is pregnant,
but if she had unprotected sex with more
than one guy then she could not know which
one is the father.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 09-09-04 18:23pm
I dont think so but I didnt find out I was
pregnant till I was 6 weeks it didnt show
up and my doctor said it would have been
negetive if I were to have taken a test
earlier
So if a she had had unprotected sex with
both of us, then there is no way she can
tell who the father is? Is that only
because she is only 1 month pregnant or
would she not be able to tell who the
father is until she has the baby? Does
anyone know the answer to that? Can a
girl find out who the father is prior to
having the baby? Maybe through some sort
of blood testing? Even after only being 1
month pregnant?
I really appreciate anyone who helps me
with these questions and this whole
situation... I just want to find out the
truth. I need to know if she is lying to
me. I just can't believe she would do
something like that to me. If she could
be pregnant with my child I need to know.
She can't keep something like that from
me. Thanks again everyone!
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ScOrpiO4ORyan
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 May 2004 Posts: 221 Location: OHIO
Posted: 09-10-04 00:00am
Far as I kno, you have to wait until the
baby is born to find out who the father of
the baby is but if you can find out
exactly how many weeks along she is, then
maybe you can tell that way.
Hope this helps.
P.S.
I can help you more if you give me the
exact day when you last had sex with her
and the last time her ex had sex with her
prior to her pregnancy.
And I would also need to know how many
weeks she is.
The whole thing is that, I think she is
just making up lies because she doesn't
want me to have anything to do with the
baby.
The last time we had sex was on august
21st. She told me she had sex with her ex
the day she broke up with me, which was
aug 14th. We also had been having sex
prior to the break up! A lot! Before the
break up the last time we had sex was aug
8th. I don't think she had sex with her
ex any other times other than the one time
on aug 14th.
She called me yesterday sept 8th, telling
me she just found out she was pregnant and
was 1 month. Didn't say how many weeks,
but knew that it was not mine but her ex's
because she had done a blood test (which I
think is a lie).
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2ferano
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 23 Dec 2003 Posts: 3717
Posted: 09-10-04 01:55am
You can have a test done while she is
pregnant, but she would have to want that
as it isn't 100% safe. You couldn't
court order it or anything, you will just
have to wait.
No, if she had sex with both around the
same time of you then she cannot know
whose it is for sure. Unless she is (for
example) one month along and hasn't had
sex with you for a month and a week, etc.
However, doctors aren't always right
about how far along a woman is either.
Yes, if she is one month along she could
definately know. Some people know within
a week. They can just tell, and some
women can test positive very, very
early.
But, just back off of her and give her
space. This has to be scaring the heck
out of her anyway. If you really want to
support the child financially,
emotionally, etc and are not just trying
to stay in her life or to get some kind of
sick revenge by pretending to want the
baby, then just lay off. Tell her that
you want a paternity test when the baby is
born and in the meantime if she needs
anything you will be there for her. If
she refuses, let it go and take legal
action for a paternity test. It is you
right to know and she cannot legally deny
you that.
Good luck to you no matter what happens,
but be careful. Because if she thinks
the baby is yours and doesn't want it to
be and you bother her about this then she
could file harassment charges, get a
restraining order, etc and then when
custody time came, you wouldn't look to
good. So take it easy.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 09-10-04 02:12am
I always believed you had to wait until
after the baby was born (it is certainly
cheaper) but here is what I found:
paternity testing can be performed
starting at the 10th week of pregnancy and
can be done until around the 21st or 22nd
week of pregnancy. The procedure requires
the collection of fetal sample (normally
done by a physician) and either blood or
buccal swabs from both parents.
All that is needed for paternity testing
is blood from all three individuals
involved: mother, child, and alleged
father. The fetus has blood capable of
undergoing the genetic tests to establish
paternity the same as a baby. But, in
these cases it obviously must be drawn
through the pregnant uterus. It is a
technique called chorionic villus sampling
(cvs). Cvs was developed to do genetic
testing to identify fetal abormalities.
It does have a slight risk of causing the
pregnancy to terminate early. So, it is
rarely done for routine paternity testing.
Only in cases where rape or incest is
involved warrant the extra risk.
*so the short answer is yes you could get
a paternity test done while she is still
pregnant but it will be expensive and a
risk of causing a miscarriage*
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
Posted: 09-10-04 10:51am
You can't find out until after the baby is
born...Or right before hand, but if you do
it while she is preg, there are chances of
a miscarriage...
I just want to say thank you to everyone
for all your responses they are all a
great help!
Hotasfrick: I do want you to know that I
am backing off, as much as possible.
Believe me, the last thing I want to do is
stay in her life. She screwed me over. I
have not talked to her ever since the day
she told me she had sex with her ex and
was now pregnant with his kid. She has
always just been a big liar and did not
believe a lot of the stuff she was saying.
Now I just need her to know that I am
legally entitled to a paternity test when
the baby is born. And if it is my child I
will do whatever I need to do to take care
of it. Thanks again!!!
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KissyBai912
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Aug 2003 Posts: 1762 Location: Venice, Florida
Posted: 09-10-04 13:48pm
If her last period was the middle of june,
then she is farther than one month. She
is almost 2 months. Which means if she
was having sex with you in late june,
early july, and no one else, you are most
likely the father. Also, the procedure to
test paternity prior to birth is called
amniocentesis. It does raise the risk of
miscarriage though. And besides, if she
is young and healthy, and not at risk for
having a baby with down syndrome, then
they probably wouldnt do it for the sake
of paternity. They will probably tell you
to wait. Hope this helps! And good luck
to you, you seem like a very nice guy!
Wish all guys cared about their babies as
much as you do.
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silverlou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 124 Location: Toronto
Posted: 09-10-04 14:06pm
Just a question, I may be way off base,
but what are the chances she's lying about
being pregnant?
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 09-10-04 15:00pm
Ah,yes!That old trick is very possible.Why
would she need to tell you that she's
pregnant if the baby is not yours?I doubt
she had any fetal testing done at this
early stage.Unless she knows on exactly
what date she conceived,she is no more
sure than you are.Like some others have
said,give her space,and if you need to
later,get a paternity test done and take
care of your child,if the baby is yours.If
you are the father,you have rights
also.Hope all goes well for you.Patty
Hello everyone!
Well I haven't been on since last week,
thanks for the new posts. Well here's the
latest update. After everyone's responses
here and talking to a few people at
planned parenthood, I concluded that
somewhere there were some lies in her
story. I decided that I could not trust
her. So I wanted to seek other routes of
finding the truth. I wanted to talk to
her mom. Well to make a long story
short... I ended up talking to her
instead of her mom, I told her that I
could not trust her and needed to let
someone else know that there is a chance
the child could be mine. She blew up at
me telling me there is no way, that she
had blood work done. I told her there is
no way! She acused me (of course) of just
wanting to stay in her life. I told her
that was not the case. She said that she
was going off of dates from when she got
pregnant. And there was no way the child
was mine. I told her the bottom line is
that there is still a chance that it could
be mine. She then tells me to stay out of
her life, that her mom did not even know
that she was pregnant... She then threw
that in. She then told me that she was no
longer pregnant, that she lost the
child.
I then threw that in her face, I cannot
trust her, first it's not mine, now she
lost it. I don't know what to believe of
her bs stories. Well now I basically just
ended it. I told her I am now completely
out of her life. So yes there is a big
possibility that she was lying about
everything. I just hope that a child of
my does not grow up out there without me
knowing it. That would kill me. Thanks
again everyone for all your help and
listening to me.
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silverlou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 124 Location: Toronto
Posted: 09-13-04 11:10am
I really want to commend you on your
integrity and desire to be a part of the
life of a child that is your's. I'm the
one that thought she might be lying about
the pregnancy, and from what you've posted
I still think that it's most likely she
never was pregnant. I'm happy for you
that you've made steps to move on and I
wish you the best.
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Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
Posted: 09-13-04 15:12pm
Sorry for what she has put you through,
but it is unfortunately true that girls do
lie about being pregnant to
get/keep/revenge a guy.
My partner's ex told him that she had
aborted their child, 18months after it
happened and she was living with his "best
mate"
what did she acheive by telling him
this??? Was she ever really pregnant???
If she was she mamaged to get herself
pregnant by having sex with him when he
was practically comatose after a drink
binge.
Draw your own conclusions, but girls do
lie about pregnancy.
I wonder how many girls have gotten
pregnant, telling the guy they are on the
pill but they aren't really, they just
want to have a baby to tie the guy down??
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dlisiouss
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Jul 2004 Posts: 107 Location: PA
Posted: 09-22-04 12:43pm
Sounds to me like u have a right to a dna
test. It's really ashame to b/c the same
thing happened to me. My bf broke up w/
me right after I got a semi positive preg
test. I still haven't told him. I'm a
little scared. But i'm really sorry to
hear ur problem... Lots of luck!
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Schizophreniahealth
This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
she tells me that
she had sex with her x-boyfriend the day
she broke up with me. Yet we still had
sex the week after, even though I did not
know what she had done. Well my questions
now are... It has only been 26 days since
she supposedly had sex with her
x-boyfriend, could she already know that
she's 1 month pregnant? Also she tells me
that the baby is her x's and not mine.
Can she medically already know this as
well? Please help. 
