Hi, not too long ago, I had sex during the
time that I was switching new birth
controls, a month later my period was
late, I was really tired, my breasts
seemed larger and harder than ever, I
started spotting and I was feeling sick in
the morning. So my fiance at the time
came to the obvious conclusion that I
could be pregnant. I didn't feel
pregnant be he was for sure that I was.
That night that I told him what I had been
going through he started freaking out,
couldn't sleep, then went to the computer
to look up everything he could on
pregnancy and the first symptoms. When
he came back he was 95% sure that I was
and really started panicing. We were
getting married in less than a month and
we were barely paying rent on time.
He started to hold me as tight as he could
telling me how scared he was and how much
he wanted to just hold me and not let go.
He has never ever acted that way before
ever! He just kept holding me and saying
that he didn't know why but he wanted to
be as close to me as he possibly could and
kept saying how scared he was. I
couldn't help but feel glad that he was
scared because of the attention I was
getting even though it wasn't a very good
way of getting attention.
Well after holding me for a while longer
he wanted to light candles and make love,
you know, the kind of love your lucky to
get on your birthday. Knowing him for 7
years, he has never been the one to be
scared like that and want me as close to
him as possible.
I ended up getting myself checked out and
found out that I wasn't pregnant, but is
that odd for a man to do that? Is that
normal or is this a side of him I have
never seen? And if it is a side of him I
have never seen, what does it mean?
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silverlou
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 124 Location: Toronto
Posted: 09-10-04 10:41am
It's not at all odd for a man to do that,
I think he was opening up, showing you his
real feelings, it's a good thing, it's
called emotional intimacy and it bodes
well for your future relationship.
Now that things have calmed down and you
know you're not pregnant you might
consider asking him sometime what he was
so scared of...From his actions it seemed
he was scared of losing you, if you two
can talk freely about your fears and it's
not all on one person it'll be great for
both of you in the long run.
And if you two do want kids in the future
nows a good time to discuss it, just put
it on the table, find out how you both
really feel about it, when you want them,
if you want them, etc.
And by the way, those symptoms, you've
probably already guessed, but they most
likely came on because of the new pill you
were taking.
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jessamyn
Supporter
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Sounds like you've always known him as
your boyfriend, lover or seen him be a
friend, as a son or brother, imagined how
he'd be as a husband.
It's the same person, so he would ususally
be himself. But when you see how he is as
a (possible) father...It's a whole new
world. Sometimes a guy who seems great
ends up being a deadbeat loser. When you
are pregnant, you go through so many
changes. I think if the guy is really
connected to you he does too. Maybe that
was just a glimpse of how he will be when
you two do get pregnant. When I told my
boyfriend, I thought he would probaly be
just like that...But he laughed
histerically and went out and got drunk!?
He was all passionate and caring the next
day, but I saw a different side of him
that night. If it were me I would totally
trust his motives, it would be a new level
of closeness for you both.
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KatieKaboom
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2004 Posts: 46 Location: MI
Posted: 12-01-04 02:47am
I saw a new side of my boyfiend (now
husband), as well. He was the rock. I
cried and cried (it was unplanned, I was
17 and scared shitless). I know he was
scared, too, but all he did was hold me
and reassure me. It was the first time
i'd ever seen him that "in control".
