I need advice on how to tell my parents.
I found out I was pregnant at 16 then 2
months later I was 17. Im now 3 months
and I still dont know how to tell my
parents. I know my mom will trip out and
I have a chance of getting kicked out
because of her. I know my dad would be
supportive. Im still with my baby's daddy
(thank god). Hes 19 now. We both already
talked about how the future is gonna be.
Like we are planning to move in together
next year around march (my due month) and
maybe get roomates to help us pay the
bills. I wanna tell my parents already so
that I know if they are gonna help me but
im scared of whats gonna happen. Im not
close to my mom at all and im kinda close
to my dad. Im terrified! Help!
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gypy04
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2004 Posts: 398 Location: florida
Posted: 09-12-04 12:18pm
Well, your going to have to do it no
matter what. Although you and your mom
are not so close babys do tend to bring
people closer...
Don't expect anyone to be happy at
first... If they are, thats wonderful.
But telling parents that you are going to
have a baby, is pretty shocking news, and
your going to have to give them time to
think about it. Since you are obviously
going to keep the baby, don't be upset if
they suggest abortion. Or even suggest
paying for it. (we were ttc, and when we
got pg we were offered this from both
sides of the family, and we are 20 and 23)
just give them time to think about it.
And, also, don't get flustered if asked,
and what do you plan to do?? Make sure
you have a plan... Also, try thinking
about finding a place, or whatever without
needing the help of roommates... First
off, how many people want to stay
somewhere with a screaming baby??
Second, you don't want people around all
the time, ie parties and stuff... Make
sure you have at least alittle of this
figured out before you even approach your
parents... But, tell them before they
find out on their own.
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Valley Girl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-12-04 12:26pm
Well the roomates that we wanted to get
were one of his friends and his girlfriend
thats pregnant too, so it would be like 2
crying babies all the time. I dont know,
we have talked a lot about it but im not
sure if I got all the details that I need.
I did want to try to make it with just me
and him but him and a lot of my friends
keep telling me to get as much help as I
can.
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gypy04
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Mar 2004 Posts: 398 Location: florida
Posted: 09-12-04 12:30pm
Does he have a job? Do you?? Are you
going to school still? Do you plan to go
to school still?? Just asking...
|
Valley Girl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-12-04 12:39pm
Right now hes trying to get another job,
he got laidoff from the last one. I kinda
have a job, I get paid under-the-table
right now. Im still going to school but
since im pregnant, I decided to graduate
in december (this year) instead of may so
that I can be home when I give birth and I
dont have to miss any school. My parents
know that im graduating in december and
they dont mind. I still want to go to
college afterwards, like in the fall. My
bf says I should still try to go but one
of my best friends says im crazy to think
about school at that time. I didnt want
the baby to get in the way of everything I
wanted to do and I hope it doesnt.
|
BbyBlu0602
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 822 Location: Virginia
Posted: 09-12-04 13:16pm
Where are you from valley girl?
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Valley Girl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-12-04 13:18pm
Phoenix, arizona
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nippz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 2173 Location: ,
Posted: 09-12-04 13:33pm
If you think your father will be
supportive, then tell him first, talk to
him, and ask him for advice on how to tell
your mom. The only best advice is from
your parents, esp if you already know he's
gonna be supportive
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lauren22
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jun 2004 Posts: 647 Location: Alabama
Posted: 09-12-04 13:37pm
I think the sooner you tell them the
better! Even though its going to be hard,
they need to know. Sure, they will
probably be upset because you are their
baby and they hate to see things happen to
you, but hopefully they will be supportive
and help you out. Just let them know that
you are scared and need their support. As
for how to tell them, i'm not sure because
I havent ever had to do it! Maybe some of
the other girls can help ya out....
How did you guys tell your parents?
Good luck sweetheart! Keep us updated!
Lauren
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Valley Girl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-12-04 13:56pm
I want to talk to my dad but lately hes
been too busy. I want to tell them soon
so that I know if I will be getting their
help or not. Nippz, how did you tell
your parents? I dont know how or when im
gonna break it to them yet.
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nippz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 2173 Location: ,
Posted: 09-12-04 14:03pm
valley girl
wrote:
i want to talk to my dad but
lately hes been too busy. I want to tell
them soon so that I know if I will be
getting their help or not. Nippz, how
did you tell your parents? I dont know
how or when im gonna break it to them
yet.
.
For me I didnt have the guts, so I went to
my cousin for advice and actually offered
to tell them for me, which I think is a
big mistake. It's better off if you tell
them yourself and soon! Have you gone to
a doctor yet to have an ultrasound and
some vitamins? If not, go to one soon!
But anyway, if your dad's busy, if you
ever get the chance to even see him, just
sit him down and tell him you really need
to tell him something important, cause if
you wait, they're gonna eventually find
out from your tummy getting bigger, and if
they find out instead of you telling them,
they'll be even more angry. Just try to
relax your mind and talk to them when
they're in a really good mood.
In ohio I think it is 16 that you can get
booted but not sure....
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Valley Girl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-23-04 13:35pm
Hey, sorry I havent been able to up date
you guys on whats going on. Well
yestureday I finally got the guts to tell
my parents. My dad took it well. My mom
tripped out. She told me that we cant see
or talk to each other anymore. Like if
she doesnt want him in my babys life. She
also said that this was going to be my
only child too, that I cant have anymore.
My dad told me today that if he fuc|<s
up now, that he was gonna send him to jail
and make sure he doesnt get out. To me it
seems like they dont want him to help or
anything. I hate how I have to deal with
this by myself. I dont know what to do
either. This morning, while I was getting
ready for school, everytime my mom would
pass by me, she would call me some name
like "dirty" or "stupid" then she said
that I shouldnt be going to school anymore
because I should be embarrased that im
pregnant. No one has said anything about
me at school. Every one in fact wants to
help me. Thats what has happened so far
just to keep you updated. Thanks for the
advice so far though.
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linuxChique
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 4535
Posted: 09-23-04 13:37pm
Man! I'm sorry for that. Are you going
to see him behind their back? Are the two
of you still together, and wanting to make
it a family? How does your dad think he
can just send your baby's father to jail?
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Valley Girl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Sep 2004 Posts: 7
Posted: 09-23-04 14:00pm
I want to see him behind their back but
its kinda hard. Thank god we are still
together. I would of killed him already
for leaving me. We didnt really plan to
have it but we kinda expected it. I
wouldnt call it an accident though. I
dont know why my dad would send him to
jail. Everything that they are doing and
saying doesnt make sence to me. I would
of thought they would just want him to
step up a lot more and not mess up
anymore. Not send him to jail or
anything.
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cherriegurl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2004 Posts: 1218 Location: Washington state
Posted: 09-23-04 14:02pm
Im sorry ur parents arent being
supportive. Give them time they might
come around. Good luck to u
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BbyBlu0602
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Posts: 822 Location: Virginia
Posted: 09-23-04 14:02pm
Your parents are going about this all
wrong. They could benefit from some
parenting classes. They should realize
how hard it was for you to work up enough
courage to tell them and think about how
you must have felt telling them. And by
them saying you can't see the baby's
father and threating to put him in jail,
they are just making the situation worse.
The should be concerned for you and be
wanting to help you, and by taking away
your right to see the father of your
baby...They are doing just the opposite.
It's not like you wont see him anyway.
If I were you, i'd seriously tell them
what's on my mind and not think a thing of
it. If they're calling you names and
telling you how to run your own
life...Then i'd say tell them how it is
and tell them that it's your life and it's
your baby and you're going to do whatever
you think is in the best interests of that
baby and they shouldn't be trying to run
your life for you.
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linuxChique
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 May 2004 Posts: 4535
Posted: 09-23-04 14:04pm
What I meant was how could they? Has he
done something wrong that they know about?
Because they can't just send him to jail
because he got their daughter pregnant. I
don't know the laws where you are, but
most states laws are that one has to be
under 16 and one over 18 for it to be
considered statutory rape. If that's not
the case for you, your dad can't do
anything that would make him to go jail.
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