Help!!!!! Im Worried About My Fiance Posted: 09-21-04 06:24am
Dear all,
this is my first post....I recently found
out my fiance has epilepsy..He told me
he's had it since he was a kid. He was
very reluctant to tell me, and a lot of
people dont know. All because he doesnt
want people to change the way they treat
him. He had a seizure a week ago while
on a trip with his boss and friends in his
bosses car. I really wish I was with him.
Anyway, he now says that he feels his
boss is treating him differently. I dont
know what to do. He's been really
depressed lately. We talked about the
possibilities of surgery. Unfortunetly,
there arent any specialists around here,
we live all the way in africa. I plan to
go to the states in january, and I want
him to come with me. I dont want to push
him, but I want to do everything I can to
help him. His seizures have reduced
signifcantly, in the last two years he's
only got it twice. The first time he
slipped and cracked his head. He says
when he was younger he used to get it
atleast twice a day....... I really need
some advice. What can I do to help him..
And does anyone know a good doctor or
hospital where he can get the surgery
done? Has anyone had the surgery or have
any info??? Plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
help........................
|
_anna_
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Sep 2004 Posts: 5 Location: wales
Posted: 09-22-04 13:53pm
If you want to help him then dont make his
epilepsy the bee all and end all of every
situation. People seem to think that
epilepsy is an illness and its not it is a
condition that thousands of people live
with everyday.My son is almost 3 years old
and he has at least 4 seizures every day.
If I worried so much about it every time
he had one then I would be a nervous wreck
by now.It is a way of life and you have to
deal with it.If he thinks people are
treating him different then he doesnt need
you to aswell so pls try not to worry
about the situation.
Good luck to you both
|
SleepyJen
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 41 Location: NYC
Posted: 09-22-04 18:01pm
I completely agree with anna here. It
sounds like you might be treating him
differently since finding out too. If he
doesn't think it's a big deal, then it's
not. ...Especially if he has only had 2
seizures in the past 2 years. He doesn't
sound like he needs help.
However, if he's interested in having
surgery (and I do mean if he is
interested, because it's his decision and
his life) then I may be able to help. I
had the surgery 5 1/2 years ago in new
york, at an excellent epilepsy center,
with an excellent surgeon. I don't think
they want advertisements on this forum,
but if you want more details you can send
me a personal message. They had to be
cautious with me so I didn't lose too much
vision, but even so my seizures are much
better now. I still take 3 meds, and I
still have simple partial seizures all the
time, but they never ever generalize or
even turn into complex partials. I can
go to school and even work again. There
has been a dramatic improvement in my
life.
Just keep in mind that surgery is a big
deal and it should only be considered if
the epilepsy is really interfering in a
person's life. Also, not everyone is
lucky enough to be a candidate, so a lot
of pre-surgical evaluation is necessary.
And remember, it's your fiance's decision
(not yours). Just support whatever he
decides. Good luck.
|
kinania
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2004 Posts: 2
Posted: 09-23-04 03:35am
Dear sleepy jen & anna,
thank you first off for your replies and
advice. I just wanted to clear
something. I havent changed at all after
finding out and I dont plan to. And im
not pushing him into this surgery. We
talked about it and I did as much research
as I could for him about epilepsy as well
as the surgery. One point that I would
like to make is that where we live, we
dont exactly have the best medical
proffessionals and facilities. That is
why we decided to move to the states, to
new york. Where I plan to go to school
and he plans to work and get his masters.
I just wanted to get as much info as
possible to pass on to him. In the end
the decision is his, and I will support
him 110% and stand by him no matter what.
Thank u again.
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