Joined: 20 Sep 2004 Posts: 8 Location: United States
Could I Be a "mental Intersexual"? Posted: 09-24-04 01:41am
my
name is joann, and I am 37 years old.
Because I was emotionally and sexually
abused, exposed to pornography, and
encouraged to develop homosexual feelings
and desires for other women while growing
up (see "depression due to emotional &
sexual abuse"), I have had homosexual
crushes on many women. My current
homosexual crush is a woman named nancy,
who is eight years older than I am. My
crush on her started about two years ago
this month, shortly after we became
friends. All of the women that I have had
crushes on, including nancy, have caused
me to desire having an enlarged clitoris,
and now I wish I could have been born with
an intersexual condition so that I could
have an enlarged, very penis-like clitoris
with intact foreskin, fused labia, and a
urinary opening on its tip. I picture
myself never growing any pubic hair or
having any other male or female external
genitalia, either, not even a vaginal
opening. I also picture myself still
having ovaries inside my body, but no egg
cells or any other male or female internal
reproductive organs. I wish I could have
been born with superior 20/15 eye vision
and a cute "outie" belly button, too.
Anyway, when I fantasize being born that
way, I am either having sexual relations
with nancy or being massaged or examined
by her in the private area. Sometimes she
just sees me naked, but nothing happens.
All she does is look, then smiles
flirtatiously at me and looks away while I
stand there looking very embarrassed. In
each and every imaginary situation, my
penis-like clitoris is hard and fully
erect, but nancy never freaks out at it
(and despite her christian beliefs, I
don't think she'd freak out in real life,
either; she seems extremely open and
relaxed about things like that). So,
regarding the above information, am I a
so-called "mental intersexual," or am I
simply just craving some sort of attention
from nancy that she seems unwilling to
give? I receive plenty of attention from
her, and she and I are very good friends,
too. In fact, I feel close enough to her
to trust her with anything, including my
body (if she was willing) and my life. I
don't know if nancy would be willing to
trust me the same way, though, because of
my crush on her. Could her limits be
disappointing me to the point where I
actually want her to cross her own
boundaries just to satisfy my lust for
her? Your response will be greatly
appreciated. Thank you!
You seem to have a range of issues
here...But what I think is most strange is
that you think "outie" bellybuttons are
cute. I think outies are really
strange-looking!
As for the rest, have you had any
counselling for the abuse you have had?
Your past seems to have made you unhappy
with your body and being a woman, and
those are issues you need to work on if
you want anyone to love you for who you
are, including yourself. Your fantasies
are really very strange and although
people can be open-minded about a lot of
things, other people's fetishes tend to be
off-putting to most people. But the fact
is that you are not any of those things
you are fantasizing about, it is more like
you think this woman would be interested
in those fantasies than in you, and that
is what comes across as strange!
my
name is joann, and I am 37 years old.
Because I was emotionally and sexually
abused, exposed to pornography, and
encouraged to develop homosexual feelings
and desires for other women while growing
up (see "depression due to emotional &
sexual abuse"), I have had homosexual
crushes on many women. My current
homosexual crush is a woman named nancy,
who is eight years older than I am. My
crush on her started about two years ago
this month, shortly after we became
friends. All of the women that I have had
crushes on, including nancy, have caused
me to desire having an enlarged clitoris,
and now I wish I could have been born with
an intersexual condition so that I could
have an enlarged, very penis-like clitoris
with intact foreskin, fused labia, and a
urinary opening on its tip. I picture
myself never growing any pubic hair or
having any other male or female external
genitalia, either, not even a vaginal
opening. I also picture myself still
having ovaries inside my body, but no egg
cells or any other male or female internal
reproductive organs. I wish I could have
been born with superior 20/15 eye vision
and a cute "outie" belly button, too.
Anyway, when I fantasize being born that
way, I am either having sexual relations
with nancy or being massaged or examined
by her in the private area. Sometimes she
just sees me naked, but nothing happens.
All she does is look, then smiles
flirtatiously at me and looks away while I
stand there looking very embarrassed. In
each and every imaginary situation, my
penis-like clitoris is hard and fully
erect, but nancy never freaks out at it
(and despite her christian beliefs, I
don't think she'd freak out in real life,
either; she seems extremely open and
relaxed about things like that). So,
regarding the above information, am I a
so-called "mental intersexual," or am I
simply just craving some sort of attention
from nancy that she seems unwilling to
give? I receive plenty of attention from
her, and she and I are very good friends,
too. In fact, I feel close enough to her
to trust her with anything, including my
body (if she was willing) and my life. I
don't know if nancy would be willing to
trust me the same way, though, because of
my crush on her. Could her limits be
disappointing me to the point where I
actually want her to cross her own
boundaries just to satisfy my lust for
her? Your response will be greatly
appreciated. Thank you!
