Joined: 12 Oct 2004 Posts: 9 Location: Elizabethton, TN
Scared Posted: 10-12-04 20:25pm
I am having such bad panic attacks every
day and every night. I feel like I am
loosing my mind. Every day I find a new
fear of how I am going to die. I know it
sounds weird, but I am scared of
everything, even life itself. I run to my
boyfriend with my crazy thoughts, and at
this point he is starting to get fed up.
I walk around take these huge deep breaths
and I sound so weird. I feel like I can't
get enough air.
I know there are many reasons I am
experiencing them. I was raped by my
father when I was 13 years old, I am now
16 years old. I have a 7 month old
daughter and I am attending college. I am
in the middle of getting emancipated and I
live in a completley different state than
my mom (who is like my best friend). My
boyfriend and I fight a lot, especially
about my panic attacks. I have always
suffered from anxiety, but I never thought
it was possible to feel like this. I have
major paranoia and I don't know what to do
with myself. I do not want my daughter
growning up and seeing me like this.
It is so weird how this all took place.
My boyfriend moved to tn for a month, and
when he came back I went outside to smoke
a ciggerete. I started hyperventaliating
and ever since I have been breathing weird
and I am scared of everything. I have
been to hospitals and doctors and there is
nothing physically wrong with me. I am
even scared of taking medicine. What
should I do?!?!?!? Someone please help
me. I cannot go on like this.
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slimdog
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 6 Location: Detroit
Scared Posted: 10-12-04 20:47pm
Kittie, i'm going through the same thing
right now. I started having bad panic
attacks and now I think because of not
wanting to take any meds that i'm getting
slight depression. I feel there is
nothing anyone can do for me. 3 er visits
and 4 doc visits later and still no answer
other than panic attacks. Being a guy I
think its harder to admit you are stressed
out. Your boyfriend is not going to
understand, nor will anyone that hasnt had
these feelings understand. If I were to
read these posts a month ago I would of
said your all crazy. Mine runs in the
family also and I thought my family would
make this caca up but now I feel bad for
every thought and word I have said to
them. I have a little boy and girl, so I
know how it feels to be scared of them
seeing you like this. Today I started
taking prozac. I hope this works for me.
My advice is, be strong, see your doc and
try whatever he gives you. Dont read
everything you see online. Thats what I
did and it took me 1 month to get up
enough courage to take my meds. That
ended me up with slight depression. I
wish you the best of luck and I know you
will get better. :d
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Kittie-n-Hatchet
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Oct 2004 Posts: 9 Location: Elizabethton, TN
Posted: 10-12-04 21:37pm
Thank you slimdog, your post means a lot
to me. It is very hard to cope with these
feelings, but I know I will overcome them,
as will you.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Kittie-n-hatchet Posted: 10-12-04 22:10pm
Get some professional help, there is
nothing to be ashamed of, we all need a
little help sometime! If your Dr. Won't
help you, find one that will and be honest
with your Dr. Or else he will not be able
to help you! Don't worry about what your
boyfriend thinks or says, you have to put
yourself and your child 1st! You were a
victim of rape, you are young, with a
baby, get yourself some help!
Sincerely,
sandy
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Esoterica
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Oct 2004 Posts: 4 Location: Texas
Posted: 10-16-04 18:49pm
I completely understand what you are going
through. I'm 36 now and had severe panic
attacks when I was 16 and living with my
boyfriend at that time. The only one that
understood what I was going through was
someone that has been through it, my
father. I stayed with him and he
explained alot to me about how anxiety
works. First, the more you fear anxiety
the worse it gets. Everyone, everyone has
a normal amount of anxiety but when it
leads to panic attacks that simply means
you are fearing what is going on with you
and it makes it worse. When I was 16..
My heart would feel like it was about to
bust out of my chest. My father had to
literally slap me out of my panic state.
At that time my doctor prescribed me a
mild anti-depressant and valium however,
my father would monitor my valium intake
because valuim is highly addictive.(he
became addicted to it when he was going
thru his attacks). When I realized that
we all have a normal amount of anxiety and
I wasn't losing my mind and I myself was
making it worse by worrying about the
anxiety itself, the panic attacks
completely stopped. I also read a book
called "the anxiety disease" I don't
remember the author but it sure helped me
alot during those times. I know you will
overcome this but you need to know this
and also know that you aren't losing your
mind. You can control your thoughts. It
may take extreme effort on your part but
it can be done. Another thing that is
great for it is exercising around the
house. If you feel your heart racing to
much and fearing that as well, slow down
and constantly talk to your positively. I
would like to mention I haven't had
anxiety or panic attacks in 19 years. The
more I learned about the more it helped
me. I wish you the same.
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trap
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Posts: 65 Location: california
Posted: 10-18-04 15:14pm
First get your baby out of this situation
give it to the state temporarily- this is
about the childs safety and well being
before yours or anyone else-second press
charges and have your sick father locked
up-third get yourself out of that crap
relationship you are in and get help-you
shouldnt have all this at 16
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xx_LostHope_xx
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 3 Location: Elizabethton, TN
Posted: 10-22-04 20:57pm
Thank you for all your advice...I really
really appreciate it. I am not going to
give my daughter to the states, but I will
get myself help. I care about my daughter
a lot and I feel that if I am giving the
proper treatment I will be fine. My
daughter is my life, and I could never do
that. I am not endangering her in
anyway...And lately I have been trying to
talk myself out of my panic attacks.
Although, sometimes they are too
overwelming. I was prescribed medicine
but I don't have the money to pick it up,
so for now I am just trying to stay
strong. :d
