My boyfriend and I have been together a
little over a year, latley we haven't been
getting along all that well based on the
facts that he has hardley had a job the
wholr time we've been together and know my
bill are behind and it jsut goes from
there. We love each other to death but
we jsut have a differnet perspective when
it comes to getting bills paid and how
much spending money you really need and
stupid stuff, ya know! Well abyway based
on that and us not leiving on out own, we
don't have very much us time if you know
what I mean!!!! But the last time we had
sex was likethe end of august or something
like that, and my period was not normal
last month, very light, on;y like 3 days.
Know this month like a wekk or so late
right know! I don't know why he doesn't
want to to beleive it is his, it it is
so...... But I am pretty sure I am, I
have to wait until I get apid next friday
to get a ptest to see for sure! I guess
what I need to know is how to deal with
this situation, i'm trying not to bring it
up to him so he doens't make me feel bad
about. Oh yeah I guess I should mention
the other thing that is makeing this all
the much harder, is last year in
september I had an abortion, and now I
have a second chance to do the right thing
which we just couldn't do last year, so
much stress!!!! Can't cope, it's all
that's on myt mind! Okay I am done know
it's just I have no one to talk too!
Thanks for listne if any one does,
smo1980
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Suzy
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Sep 2003 Posts: 530
Posted: 10-09-03 07:27am
Dear smo,
i'm so sorry to hear that you have been
having relationship problems. I'm not
sure why your boyfriend won't except that
it is his child. Does he have a reason to
doubt the child is his ? A lack of money
and unpaid bills is enough to cause
friction in any relationship, it does
cause a lot of stress. It certainly
doesn't help matters when you are both
disagreeing on what you should be spending
the last few dollars on. As for how to
deal with the situation, I think what is
most important at this stage is to wait
until you get your pregnancy test on
friday, if you are actually pregnant then
think about your options then. You may
not be pregnant yet. The enormous amount
of stress you have been under could quite
possibly be the reason your period is a
little out of whack at the moment. Stress
is enough to actually make your period
stop completely, so you really need to try
and relax, look after yourself a bit.
Your boyfriend doesn't sound so caring, so
you really need to take some time out for
yourself right now. Pamper yourself, do
something nice, go out for lunch with your
mum, go to the local pool or spa with a
friend, anything, just get your mind off
all this until you do your test. Your
boyfriend has no place making you feel bad
about the possibility of being pregnant,
as it is as much his fault as it is yours.
Without him, you wouldn't be pregnant.
If he thinks you should be feeling bad,
then he should be feeling just as bad.
Good luck,
.::suzy::.
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smo1980
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 15 Location: Canada
Posted: 10-09-03 07:37am
Ya see I think what the probalem is, is
that he is more scared of the stuation
then I am, becuse of what happened last
year. I don't think the stress has that
much to with it, because, I am peeing
every 10 mins is it seems, sharp pains in
back and belly, light headed, little bit
of nausa, heart burn like I don't know
what!
Oh well, only time will tell right
thanks for the reply
smo1980
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insurancegirl
Especially EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Sep 2003 Posts: 5286
I Went Through the Same Thing, Posted: 10-09-03 08:40am
And my hubby is the same way. Don't
work, but spend as much as he can.
Anyway I got preg 3 1/2 mo after we were
together, and he's been with a lot of
girls that he didn't get preg. So the
whole preg was like...It better look like
me and r u sure it's not someone elses.
It hurt so bad, but after he saw him he
knew (or so I thought). However, this
convo comes up all the time (about all 3
kids) and i've told him i'd do a paternity
test, except it's too expensive so i'd be
willing to go on a show or something. I
would never (not know) or let my child
(not know) who the real father was...It's
definetly my hubby (he's the only guy ive
ever had sex with) but I did talk to other
guys after a few accusations. I don't
know who my father is and mom doesn't know
(so she says) and it hurts not to know who
I really am. I don't know if I have
brother & sisters, neices &
nephews, and there is a set of
grandparents that I never met.
I think we finally came together just this
past week though...After I posted about my
marriage. I got a lot of good advice and
I am thankful for it.
Hopefully everything works out for you,
but don't let it stress you too much, it's
bad for the baby. There were points that
I just ignored my hubby when he said it.
I just hope now he realizes that they are
all his and I love him very much and want
us to be a happy family.
Good luck and best wishes,
jennifer
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smo1980
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Oct 2003 Posts: 15 Location: Canada
Posted: 10-09-03 09:00am
Thanks, it's not that my boyfriend can't
work, or doesn't want to, he has had some
health problems, every time he starts a
job he trys so hard & just ends up
stressing him self right out, he just
wants to make something himself so bad,
and he jsut ends up doing what he does to
himself. He can't see that is actually
his merves and anxity that is cusing him
be sick and stuff! He is working know,
and it s going okay, but we'll see, ah!
Were still just young, well not young but
not old either
i'm 23 and he's 26, and ya see my
boyfriend himself is adopted, doensn't
know his parents, all he knows is when he
tried to find his mother she didn't want
to see him! She was only like 14 when
she had him and doesn't know who the
father is! I also think that is why he
is so distant about all of this, he has
not had an easy life over the past 10
years or so!
Well I will keep informed, friday the 17th
I am getting a ptest and will try is
sometim ethat weekend!
Don't know how I feel!!!!!!
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This page was last updated on June 11, 2008
thanks for the reply 
