Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 143 Location: Houston,Tx
the Biggest Mistake of My Life..... Posted: 10-22-04 15:49pm
Ok girls, I think that I have made the
biggest mistake of my life. I should
never of told my mother that I was
pregnant because now she wants me to let
her adopt my baby, so this means that I
have to give up greg. I dont want to do
this but i'm starting to think that maybe
that would be the best thing for my baby.
My mother could give the baby insurance
and all the things it needs, but I know
that if I let this happen I will loose
greg! I don't know what to do anymore and
since I am a minor I can't legally do
anything to start a life on my own. Any
suggestions? It's really weird but I feel
like this is the beginning of the end of
my life!
I dont know what to tell you sweetie. I
guess if its something you think will help
you in the long run, at least you'll know
your baby is not with some stranger also
you'll still be with your baby everyday.
On the other hand if you love greg and
dont want to give him up then somehow your
mom is going to have to realize your child
needs a father.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 10-22-04 16:56pm
Do you want that though... Aside from
greg dont think of greg right now think of
this.... Could you let your mother be a
mother to your child? Give up your
maternal and parental rights? Why cant
she just help support you being a mom
rather than become the mom herself? Will
she kick you out if you choose no? You
can always apply for medicare and what not
which is government insurance, or greg can
get it thru work if he become legal....
Your bond between your child and you
mother sadly is more important than your
bond between you and greg but you must
keep greg in the picture even if she
decides to adopt the baby greg still has
parental rights until he signs them over..
Does he get to loose on on being a dad?
Thats not fair to the child in the long
run....
It is good that you told your mom!
However she seriously needs to open her
eyes to whats up!
Shes driving me insane! Ahah
i mean she let u live in this situation
now she wont let you stand up to your
responsibilities?
Keep letting me know whats going on hun
trust me I wanna help
and if all else fails come to sd and live
with me and paul!
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jenifercarrillo
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Oct 2004 Posts: 143 Location: Houston,Tx
I Hate Her........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Posted: 10-22-04 17:08pm
The thing is my mother had told me that
legally greg doesnt have any parental
rights because he is illegal himself. I
do love him, but he still has not called
me since yesterday's fight (in the
morning). Im not able to call him until 6
p.M. Because he is at work, but im not
sure if I want to because I want to see if
he really cares. I dont know why but I
have this instinctive feeling to run away
and hide my self and my baby. Even though
I know that is not the best thing for my
baby (i could care less about myself, just
my baby) its gotten to the point were I
would rather have some stranger raise my
baby rather than my mother. Shes very
slippery and is almost two faced, just the
other day she told greg that she was happy
that I found a good man but was upset that
she couldnt find someone like him herself,
and now this!
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 10-22-04 17:35pm
Dont take off hun u dont have the
financial means are u going to ur doc
appts? I'd do ur research and find out if
he has rights....
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Farah
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Oct 2003 Posts: 201
Posted: 10-22-04 20:42pm
Sorry to barge in this, but I was just
wondering what you meant by greg is
illegal too... Did you mean that he is a
minor as well? Actually there are rights
that you and he have under the law simply
because you are this childs parents. You
can become an emanicapted minor and be
eligible for any assistance the state can
offer. This might not sound like a great
life, but you wouldn't have to do it
forever. You can finish school even go to
college and still have your family.
Whatever you choose to do, do it because
you want to. So many young mothers think
that they can't do this, but they really
can. There are so many options for you so
that you can keep your baby if you want
to. Please look into it.
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4101 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 10-22-04 22:53pm
No no hes not a minor he hasnt gained
status in the us yet
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fuzzybuttedmonky
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Feb 2004 Posts: 132 Location: Lansing, Ks
Theres Definately Something U Can Do About It Posted: 10-22-04 23:30pm
Theres something very serious u can do
about not being able to start a life of ur
own and what not. If greg is the father
of ur baby then all u have to do it go get
married through the court its easy and
fairly affordable. Getting married
legally emancipates u therefore u would be
an adult. U would have to get ur own
place or u would have to pay ur mom rent
bc ur an "adult" but its the best idea I
think. Thats what I plan to do ...
Since im a minor and my mom is leaving for
iraq when and if my fiance ever gets me
preggy thats what im gonna do. I hope I
helped and if u have any more questions or
anything feel free to pm me
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PosrscheLvr
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Oct 2004 Posts: 304 Location: Plano, Texas
Posted: 10-23-04 00:02am
Now I am not entirely sure on this...But I
believe if you are the kids father citizen
or not, you still have rights. That
doesn't make sense, just because one
person is from another country is crap.
It's your kid, it's your kid. Your mom
needs to lay off a bit. Yes you got
pregnant young, ok so not the smartest
thing. But you are her child and ya know
what caca happens. Life deals you a hand
of cards, you play them and what you get
is what you got. You can change your life
any way you want to. It sounds like you
really care about the baby, I admire that.
Keep that strong will alive, sounds like
you will need it.
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nippz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 2173 Location: ,
Posted: 10-24-04 17:24pm
I dont think it's that bad. I mean, do
you live with her? My mom wants to adopt
my baby, too, and I dont mind because I
still live with her, so it doesn't really
make a difference to me. Deep inside I
know its my baby.
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Nellypoo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Oct 2004 Posts: 10
Posted: 10-24-04 17:48pm
I don't want to sound critical but this
situation doesn't sound too good. I would
think you need to find some assistance to
continue school, get a job (if you don't
have one) this is going to be a rough
time. I was 17 pregnant 18 married. I
would never tell someone to go get
married, or have a baby to keep a guy. A
baby runs a guy off faster than anything.
Your bf is an older illegal immigrant,
whom you seem to have a shaky relationship
with. I wish young girls knew how hard is
it to raise a child with or without the
father, there would be many more legs
closed !!
It's going to be nothing but hard work for
you but you can do it. Get as much
assistance as you can(i'm not a fan of
gov. Assistance i.E welfare)
but help is help. My husband joined the
navy and it was he best decision because
we are able to take good care of our baby,
without ever taking a handout from family,
always had our own
money,apt/home,car,travel,insurance.
Everything we need, though military is not
everyones choice. So there are things you
can do keep your baby if thats what you
want to do, having a child is a life
altering thing some people think it's just
a cute thing to do(have a little baby).
It's hard work, and reality sets in fast !
I wish you the best.
If your mother really loved you she would
help u out not tell u that she wants to
adopt your baby.. I was 19 when I had my
first son my parents maid me give my first
baby up for adaption and it was hard now
that im 23 and have my second baby I see
that giving up my baby was for his own
good but if I had been stronger I would
have kept him but then again I would not
have my son alex. Ilove both of my baby
that I had even thought I am only raising
one of them but im now married to a great
guy who wouldn't have it any other way.
Well later :p
