Grave's Disease ( Thyroid) And An Ed

Hi. I am a 27 year old former gymnast who was diagnosed with grave's deisease at age 19. I underwent rai therapy and was told that it would be hard to keep my weight off for the rest of my life. Prior to coming down ith grave's I was a competitive gymnast at the collegiate level, standing 5' tall and weighing in at 110 lbs. We found out I had graves with a routind bloodwork panel done the summer after my freshman year at college, because I was experiencing symptoms of letahrgy, weight gain ( I went from 110-140 in 6 months) among other things.

My ed did not begin however, until well after college, when my marriage ended due to my husbands affair. I felt that he left me for a more attractive fun woman with less baggage ( graves disease tends to make you an emotional roller coaster as your levels of thyroid go up and down ( even with meds). After he left, I move to another state and I began by throwing up because the thought of him leaving made me sick to my stomach. Lost about 15 lbs this way and felt better about my appearance. I began to date guys who I always considered beyond my league in looks. The throwing up subsided as I was not so heartbroken anymore--but I ended up over exercising..Up to 2 hours of cardio per day to combat weight gain. This too= unhealthy. One day I decided to "try" vomiting after a rather large meal. And lo and behold I could "do it". Disgustingly enough, I was proud of myself..And bulimia became my new friend.

Although I purged, it wasn't following binges..I actually restricted my calories to 800 a day and purged after every meal. I worked out every day, doing cardio for "only" 40 minutes a day..Figuring that eating less was beter than working out too much! As you can see my head was not on straight (:

my lowest point I had dropped below 100 lbs and my mother intervened. I was irritable and sickly. I admitted to my problem and we went from there. I have been through counseling and brought my weight to a relatively stable number now...Which I have maintained through exercise and 1,000 cal a day for over 2 years now.

To friends family and co workers, I am the picture of health. Lean, muscular..Happily dating a wonderful man..But am i? My secret is that I still purge on an almost daily basis. I blame my thyroid disease for a below normal metabolism and try to justify my low calorie intake to that. If I eat beyond my comfort zone, I excuse myself to the restroom and rid myself of those calories.I blame a lot of my weight ups and downs on my thyroid, when in actuality, I still have a full blown ed.

I am hoping to find someone who has been dealing with thyroid problems and weight just as I have. Just a friend to talk and listen would be great! Thanks so much for hearing me out.