This Somewhat Explains My Post, "the Worst I've Ever Be

I'm so confused. Yes, kenny and I broke up. It wasn't him though. I was the one that broke up with him. I thought that it was the best thing to do at the time. Then, I realized that it could have been a huge mistake. My brother and I went to kenny's house tonight so that I could talk to him, and kenny and I went into his bedroom and talked about why I did what I did and how we each felt and then I walked out into the living room to see what my brother was up to and a few minutes later, my brother was like, "what's he doing in there? Why isn't he coming out here?" I went back in the bedroom to check on kenny and he was holding a picture in his hand looking at it crying. I couldn't see what picture it was, but then when I crawled up next to him, I saw that it was a picture of him, ethan and me together. I asked him what he was thinking, and he said, "i must have messed up." I said, "no, you didn't do anything wrong, it was me...I was stupid." I layed there with him with my head on his chest and I tried to comfort him while he cried. I told him that I still loved him and how much I cared for him. The radio was playing and "iris" by the goo goo dolls came on and he sang it to me...Still crying. The only weird part about it all was earlier before I went over to his house to talk to him...He was at kara's house (his ex before me) and I actually drove up there to her house because I knew he was there. I had called him and asked him what he was doing and he said he was talking to some guy and I asked where he was and he told me, "up here near kara's house." so, he was honest and told me where he was. Nothing happened when I got there because his friend jamey came over and talked to me and my brother is friends with kara's brother and them two were talking. Kara was sitting in kenny's truck the whole time, she never got out or said anything to me. Kenny was talking to some guy when I pulled up at her house. I think the only reason I went up there to her house was because I just wanted to see if he really was there. I explained to him about how I thought that when we were together, I thought that he was still talking to her and he told me that when we were together he didn't talk to her because it was all about me. He said, "i might go see her now, but it's not like I want to be with her." I honestly think he's just lonely now and he knows that kara likes him...So he goes to her. I don't know what to do. I'm happy right now being single and not having to worry about the stress of a serious relationship, but at the same time i'm in love with kenny. I really do love him...I do. I love him. I believe that he really does care about me, because it's really not like him to cry...But at the same time, i'm kind of shady of the fact that he's seeing kara again. I went to his house tonight, knowing that he had just came from kara's house. When he started crying, I kissed him knowing that he had probably kissed just kissed kara 20 minutes earlier, but it didn't bother me because that's how much I love him. One day back when I was helping him move out, we were at his parent's house in his bedroom and I was sitting on his bed and he was standing up packing some of his stuff up and the song "she thinks she needs me" by andy griggs came on the radio and he said, "this is my song to you." every time I hear that song come on the radio now, I think of him saying that and my eyes always start getting watery. I don't know what to do. I'm in love with him, but i'm happy the way things are right now. Part of me wants to be with him more than anything, but then part of me wants to stay single and be away from the seriousness of a relationship like that. I dunno what to do.

I also found out that a week before we broke up, he had bought me a ring and was going to ask me to marry him.