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becki0000
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Posts: 2
Location: kentucky
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My Husband Wants a Threesome
Posted: 11-02-04 13:30pm
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The other night during sex my husband
asked me if I ever thought of having a
threesome. This has completely broken
me. I would never even consider it.
Now I dont know what to think. We've
never had any problems in the sex
department before but now I feel as if I
cant satisfy him or that he doesnt really
love me or that he wants to have sex with
someone else. Am I reading too much into
this?
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JCSC2
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2004
Posts: 61
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Posted: 11-02-04 13:54pm
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There are a lot of men out there that
think about threesomes. I have before,
however I would never bring up the subject
and I know that would ruin the
relationship even if she agreed. Your
husband just made a mistake by talking
aloud about it. He probably has been
watching porn or heard a buddy or
something. Good luck.
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BADSAL
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2004
Posts: 257
Location: PA
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Posted: 11-02-04 14:05pm
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Don't worry about it. I think most men
think about it at some point. It
probably isn't that he is not satisfied
with you or you are doing anything wrong.
Don't let it ruin what you have. From
what my hubby has said and from friends I
know- most guys have a "dream" of being
with 2 chics. I'm not sure what the
major turn on is- but they think it
nonetheless.
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ravenmfoster
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 29 Oct 2004
Posts: 7
Location: chicago
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You Cool
Posted: 11-02-04 14:46pm
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First of all from what I have learned that
is every mans or at least the majority of
mens fantacy. Now as far the actual
thought you are right to eighty-6 the idea
because your body is a temple and you sex
is sacred and intimate for you and you man
and for him to suggest that was kind of
selfish knowing that you weren't that type
of girl I had a friend to had a threesome
to satisfy her man with her friend and him
and friend had ongoing sessions so I
wouldn't gamble on that and if he feels as
if he can't satisfied any other way tell
em two fingaz! Now I will advise you to
speak with him about the situation lack of
communication will not get you any where
see if there is anything else that may
spice up your sex life becuase he is
definately hinting at more variety in your
sex life! Holla back and let me know the
outcome! 
much luv!
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004
Posts: 1103
Location: Chicago area
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Posted: 11-03-04 13:14pm
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I agree that many guys think about
threesomes,but when it comes down to it,it
is just a fantasy.I think many guys would
not like to see their wife/girlfriend
enjoying someone more than then them.It
all sounds good on paper,but in reality,
there are usually more problems when there
are three in the bed.I knew a woman who
left her husband for the other guy that he
brought home for her!!I also know a woman
who left her boyfriend for the woman who
was in the threesome.Let him have his
fantasy in his head,if he persists on an
actual threeway,tell him the reasons why
you do not want it.Good luck!Patty
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itsjustmeagain
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2004
Posts: 4
Location: usa
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
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Turn the Tables
Posted: 11-03-04 19:06pm
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Why don't you tell him that your fantasy
has always been to be with two men? Then
tell him that you will agree to his
fantasy, if you can have what you desire,
first! Tell him that you would love to
see him and another man, doing things with
each other -- tell him that you just
didn't want to say anything before -- and
assure him that you are extremely serious
about this. Then, tell him you would
really love to take pictures of him, while
he and the other man are "experiencing"
each other. Tell him that it would turn
you on so much that you would not be able
to stand just watching -- and that you
would have to join the two of them, at
some point. (once he hears all about
your fantasy, see if he is actually wants
to continue trying to push/pressure you
into something that you really don't want
to do.) the bottom line is that if he
won't mind you being with him and another
man, then he has a much more serious
problem than you think. No "sane man"
wants his wife to be with another man!
Anyway, stand up for yourself -- what is
fair for the goose is fair for the gander.
If he persists in wanting to live out
his fantasy, then kick his butt out of
your bed -- you deserve a man who really
loves you!...Not a flake, who thinks in
terms of wanting to use you and other
women as sexual objects.
Good luck,
jane
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Users who thank itsjustmeagain for this post:
harmony1
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BADSAL
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Sep 2004
Posts: 257
Location: PA
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Posted: 11-03-04 19:14pm
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Wow jane, that is an excellent idea. I
doubt the man would agree to something
like that. Hopefully it would make him
realize what he suggested isn't really
appropriate.
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JCSC2
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Sep 2004
Posts: 61
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Re: Turn the Tables
Posted: 11-03-04 19:29pm
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[quote="itsjustmeagain"]why don't you tell
him that your fantasy has always been to
be with two men? Then tell him that you
will agree to his fantasy, if you can have
what you desire, first! Tell him that
you would love to see him and another man,
doing things with each other -- tell him
that you just didn't want to say anything
before -- and assure him that you are
extremely serious about this. Then,
tell him you would really love to take
pictures of him, while he and the other
man are "experiencing" each other. Tell
him that it would turn you on so much that
you would not be able to stand just
watching -- and that you would have to
join the two of them, at some point.
(once he hears all about your fantasy, see
if he is actually wants to continue trying
to push/pressure you into something that
you really don't want to do.) the bottom
line is that if he won't mind you being
with him and another man, then he has a
much more serious problem than you think.
No "sane man" wants his wife to be with
another man! Anyway, stand up for
yourself -- what is fair for the goose is
fair for the gander. If he persists in
wanting to live out his fantasy, then kick
his butt out of your bed -- you deserve a
man who really loves you!...Not a flake,
who thinks in terms of wanting to use you
and other women as sexual objects.
Good luck,
jane[/quote
i am sure that would go over well. Two
wrongs don't make a right. You would just
be dragging out the conflict. I am a man
and men don't always say the most
intelligent things. People say
inapropritate things sometimes.]
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becki0000
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Posts: 2
Location: kentucky
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Posted: 11-04-04 08:53am
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I really dont want to see my relationship
end over this. We had been out drinking
and he says he didnt realize what he was
saying. I say thats bullcrap. I just
wish I knew what was the underlying motive
to it but ya cant get inside someones
head.
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004
Posts: 54
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Posted: 11-04-04 15:37pm
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He probalby said he didn't know what he
was saying because he was embarrassed,
and, in my opinion, rightfully so.
It seems like you've already talked to him
about it but I would encourage you to be
open with him that you are not turned on
by that. In fact, it offends you be cause
it makes you feel cheap, incapable of
satisfying him, like second best, etc.
(however it makes you feel). If he really
cares about you he will learn that even in
a microwave society we can't always have
what we want, infact it is better and more
loving to go without those things (and
maybe consider a different perspective
like why that would be wrong in a
meaningful relationship).
Best of luck
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swimmer
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Nov 2004
Posts: 65
Location: Utopia
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Posted: 11-10-04 15:23pm
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Every man wants a threesome......Just no
man ever really gets it lol
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callie8323
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Posts: 231
Location: nc
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Kinda Know How You Feel
Posted: 12-15-04 09:35am
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I know this is a little diffrent but my
boyfriend of three years when I first meet
him he had a collection on magazines ect.
I told him to get rid of them that I did
not like them. Well last weekend while I
was cleaning I found the magazines under
his bed. Not playboy really dirty
magazines it hurt me so bad it was also
couples togther and girls. When I saw
that I felt like he did not want me his
anwser to that was he felt I did not want
him anymore which wasn't true we got threw
this I forgave him and told him that if he
does this again its over im not living my
life like that. When I meet him I was a
lot smaller so when I saw that stuff I
felt like now that ive gained weight thats
why he had those magazines. He said he
just like seeing people ya know doing it.
Im still hurting but I got to move on.
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Roxy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Il
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Posted: 12-28-04 01:51am
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Hello all:)
I totally agree with ijma. Ask your
mate if he would allow you,him,and another
man in the bed.See if he gets the point!
Take care.
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5678
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 1
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Reply to "my Husband Wants a Threesome"
Posted: 08-04-07 01:08am
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When my husband propositioned me about a
threesome with another woman I tried the
"well how about a threesome with another
man" approach. I was a little more than
shocked to hear him agree. My husband is
a very masculine and "manly' type man
(raised blue collar and conservative) and
would never consider himself gay. But I
can not help but feel confused by this
fantasy of his to have sexual interactions
with another male. I am thankful that he
would tell me about it instead of going
behind my back and living a "double life."
However on the same account, I would not
really consider myself a lesbian after
having a threesome with him and another
female....or really bisexual for that
matter--perhaps just experimental. We are
both young and after seeing the many
postings on internet of married men
looking for discreet sexual interactions
with other men....I really am glad he has
not gone behind my back. I dont know if I
should be concerned about our future and
if one day he may decide he likes men more
and leaves me stranded. There are so many
questions and thoughts I have and am just
wondering if anyone has any input on
this...or advice. thanks much.
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nightangel73
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Nov 2005
Posts: 2380
Location: North Carolina
Thanks: 11
Thanked:1
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Posted: 08-11-07 22:08pm
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if my fiance tells me he want sa threesome
I would break the engagement at the very
moment and if I were married i would be
getting ready to file a divorce. What kind
of wedding vows are those of "i will be
true to you in good times and bad blah
blah and then suddenly say I want to have
sex with someone else involved too. God
that is so freaking nasty..oops. Sorry
it's my honest opinion.
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popminer
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Aug 2007
Posts: 105
Location: ,
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Posted: 08-16-07 10:58am
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to me, any form of threesome is like
cheating.
sex is meant for people that love
eachother, not just flings.
i think threesomes are the start of what
could get people to cheat, because they
think so much about having another
person.
am i making sense?
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s_kalb
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 164
Location: Braine-l'Alleud, 1420 Belgium
Thanks: 13
Thanked:3
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Posted: 08-17-07 09:41am
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| popminer
wrote: | | am i making
sense? |
You are.
However, some couples are sooo well glued
together that nothing, NOTHING can blow
them up (gosh I envy them) ; not even an
attractive naked opposite sex. If they
feel that way, like unable to leave each
other, they can do a threesome without
fear of abandon.
However, both have to want the threesome.
It's not an obligation to have a threesome
just to prove that your couple is serious
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meblonde01
Supporter
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Posts: 2113
Location: ,
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Posted: 08-17-07 09:51am
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I have known a lot of couple that say they
are glued.. they where swingers and had 3
somes.. They said it made their
relstionship better. NONE of them are
together today..
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s_kalb
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Sep 2005
Posts: 164
Location: Braine-l'Alleud, 1420 Belgium
Thanks: 13
Thanked:3
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Posted: 08-17-07 10:22am
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| meblonde01
wrote: | | I have known a lot of couple
that say they are glued.. they where
swingers and had 3 somes.. They said it
made their relstionship better. NONE of
them are together
today.. |
That's true. But just saying
that your relation is perfect doesn't make
it so now does it  Indeed I'm talking
about "it is", not "they say".
But I got your point
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childofgod777
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Aug 2007
Posts: 35
Location: Indianapolis
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Threesome
Posted: 08-29-07 22:01pm
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O.K. If you don't listen to anyone else,
PLEASE listen to me. Never, ever, think
about doing this. If he ask about it
once, I'd bet that it will come up again.
Make it very clear to him, IT AIN"T GONNA
HAPPEN. Do not have any long discussions
about it, because before long he will be
trying to rationalize it. Eventually, you
may give into it, to save your
relationship. Then, you will lose him
anyway, because, as much as he thinks it
would be wonderful, after it is done he
will lose respect for you, and you will
lose respect for yourself. You should
never give up your moral standards for
someone else's sick desires. I'm
speaking out of experience. It took me
many years to get over what I had done. I
became self destructive. I couldn't look
myself in the mirror, and I knew he
couldn't stand to look at me afterwards.
It was the end of that relationship. I
would also step back and take a long look
at the relationship as it is right now.
It sounds like he doesn't have much
respect for you now by even asking you to
do such a thing. I hope you showed him a
good amount of shock and disappointment in
him for asking this of you  A man that truly
loves a woman, if he has any decency at
all would never do this. Don't think this
has anything to do with you not pleasing
him, or your own sexuality. It doesn't. It
has everything to do with HIM. He as
lacking something in his character and
integrity. This is not your problem, it's
his, so be careful and don't make it
yours. I will be praying for you.
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