Natural Family Planning-an Alternative to the Pill Posted: 11-02-04 17:39pm
This can be a "how to" thread as well as a
place share stories, ask questions etc.
My husband and I have been using the nfp
method of birth control for almost a year
now and have not gotten pregnant.
It is very easy to do, it is free, it only
takes two minutes a day, and it is an
excellent way to strengthen your
relationship (divorce rate among average
married couples is more than 50%, divorce
rate among couples who use nfp less than
4%). It is also as effective as birth
control pills and more effective than
condoms.
The way it works: your body gives three
tell-tale signs every month that you are
about to ovulate, are ovulating and/or
have ovulated. This is true even if your
cycle is irregular; it is still possible
to know when you have ovulated.
Nfp is for couples who both want to get
pregnant or do not want to get pregnant,
by teaching them what the symptoms are and
how to check them, so you can know if you
are ovulating/fertile or not.
Before we get into the details of the
symptoms, let me say that there are books
on this method that will be able to help
you with a lot more information that I
will give you. The one I read was called
the art of natural family planning. It
is the only method that suggests you use
all three symptoms to tell if you are
fertile or not. Other methods recommend
just two or one. But with using three,
you have two cross-checks to make sure you
know when you are fertile.
Basically: our bodies are designed to go
through a monthly cycle. When one thing
occurs it causes a reaction which leads to
another. For example, a certain hormone
will end your period. In about a week
(it's different for everyone and unwise to
try to count the days) you will ovulate.
(we'll look at how to tell those in the
next post). When you ovulate, an ovum,
or egg, is relased from your ovaries.
The follicle in your ovary that released
the ovum then turns into a hormone which
signals to your brain to build up the
lining of your uterus (why you begin to
feel bloated, crampy, etc.) if the ovum or
egg is not fertalized it does not attach
to the lining of your uterus which causes
another hormone reaction that sheds the
lining--your period. Birth control pills
force this reaction so that, even if the
egg is fertilzed, your lining will shed
anyway.
Cycles range any where from 21-45 days.
Even with such a broad range it is
possible to tell when you are ovulating,
and be confident that you are fertile or
not fertile.
Once you ovulate, it is impossible to get
pregnant because there is nothing to
fertilze. You typically will have about
two weeks (possibly shorter or longer,
depending on the length of your cycle)
when you can have sex without fear of
getting pregnant.
If you do want to get pregnant, you simply
have sex during the days you are
fertile.
You cycle begins on the first day of your
period. The first day you have your
period is considered "day 1" of your
cycle. Your cycle lasts until you have
your period again. The last day before
you next period is considered the last day
of your cycle and the first day of your
next period is the first day of your next
cycle.
You can also have sex during the first 2-3
days of your cycle (2 if your cycle is
short, 3 if 28 days or longer) and not get
pregnant, if you are comfortable having
intercourse during your period. In over
40 years of studies and hundreds of
thousands of women charting their cycles
for months and months and months, only one
pregnancy has resulted from intercourse on
the fourth day of a period. It is
extremely unlikely, but it has happened,
so it is recommended that you do not have
sex any later than the third day of your
cycle.
After your period ends you will have a few
days before you ovulate. The longer your
cycle is, the more days you will have
between the end of your period and the day
you ovulate. You can still get pregnant
if you have sex between the end of your
period and the day you ovulate, i'll
explain that in the next post about
symptoms of ovulation. You can't count
the days because it varies month to month
depending on diet, exercise, stress,
sickness, etc., and it is different for
every person.
We'll get into the signs of ovulation in
the next post.
After you ovulate, and you are *sure* that
you have ovulated, you can have sex as
many times as you want until your next
cycle begins (the first day of your next
period) and you will not get pregnant.
Some women have been known to ovulate
twice in one cycle, but this is very
uncommon. However, it is good to check
your symptoms every day (it only takes
about two minutes of your entire day) to
be sure, as you would be able to tell
through the symptoms if you have ovulated
a second time. But like I said , *this
is very uncommon*
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
the First Symptom - Temperature Posted: 11-02-04 17:59pm
Every month your body shows three symptoms
when you are ovulating, and by
understanding these and checking for them,
you can tell when you are ovulating
(fertile) and know whether or not to have
sex (depending on if you want to have a
baby or not).
1. The first symptom is your temperature.
Your temp varies through out the day, and
even day to day, by tenths of degrees (for
example, you may wake up with a temp of
97.6 and in about two hours it could be
97.9 or 98.0). If you want to use natural
family planning as a form of birth control
you will need to check your temperature
every morning when you wake up, which only
takes about 30 seconds. You can record it
later since thermometers (traditional and
electronic) "remember" the temp.
The temperature that your body is at when
you wake up is called your "basal body
temperature". Some stores sell "basal"
thermometers, and some people feel these
are more "sensitive" but is perfectly ok
to use regular thermometers to check your
temp. You will need to check your temp at
the same time every day because it will
rise by a 10th of a degree every half hour
or hour, making your symptoms appear
inaccurate if you are not consistent.
What I have done is set my alarm for a
certain time in the morning so that even
if I don't have to get up that early on a
particular day, I will still take my
temperature. It takes less than 30
seconds and when i'm done I can go back to
sleep if I want to. Your temperature will
vary from day to day by one or two 10ths
of a degree (on monday, it could be 97.4,
tues 97.3 wed 97.4, thurs 97.4, fri 97.5,
etc.)
on the day you ovulate, your temperature
will "jump" 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (one
day it will be (for example) 97.4 and the
next it will be 97.7 or 97.. If you have
ovulated, you will know because your
temperature will remain elevated (3 or 4
tenths of a degree higher than what it was
normally right after your period) for at
least three days, usually four or five.
If you check your temperature every day,
and keep track of it by writing it down or
making a graph that shows day 1, 2, 3, 4,
etc. Across the bottom and temperatures
(starting at 96.0, then 96.1, 96.2, 96.3,
etc. All the way to 100.00) on the side,
you will be able to keep track of your
temperature, and you will be able to see
when it "shifts" (jumps up a few 10ths of
a degree) and stays that way.
This is the easiest way to tell if you are
ovulating. It is possible to use only
this symptom to see if you have ovulated,
but to be sure you should cross check with
the other two symptoms, which are
explained in the following posts
(to be posted at a later time)
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
the Second Symptom- Cervical Changes Posted: 11-05-04 15:09pm
Throughout your cycle your cervix will
normally be low, firm and closed. When
you are about to ovulate it will raise,
soften and open up. These changes can
be hard to observe the first time you try
natural family planning because you have
nothing previous to compare them to.
But once you begin observing symptoms in
the second month it will become much more
clear.
It is not too difficult to check your
cervix each day, and only takes a matter
of seconds. The biggest hang up people
have with it is the process which requires
you to insert two fingers into your vagina
to feel where the cervix is at. For me,
this hang up was easily overcome as I
learned more about my body and that it
goes through a cycle that I was born with,
that it does without me telling it to,
that I no longer have to pop a pill once a
day and hope-to-god it worked because I
didn't really know what it was doing or if
it was doing enough of it.
Checking your cervix is similar to
inserting a tampon. You can do so if
you've never had intercourse before.
You can check sitting down on the toilet,
or standing with one foot on the toilet or
tub. It seems to be most convenient to
check your cervix while you're taking a
shower and once before bed. You simply
insert two fingers into your vagina a
"feel for the top". If you've never
done this before, or if you're like me and
had and wondered what in the world that
thing was in there, that's you're cervix!
It feels like a channel or "tube" that
comes down from the top. Really, it's
like the "gate" or "door" in to your
uterus. The bottom of it feels a little
bit like a donut
at the end of a cycle, when you are about
to start your period, your cervix will
raise up, or get higher, maybe harder to
reach. You can tell this by feeling the
length of it (it's normally about two
finger-widths long but when it's raised up
it is harder to grasp in between your two
fingers). It will also feel wider, or
more "squatty" against the top of your
vagina. This is happening so that you
can begin your period.
After the first few days of your cycle
(when you're period is beginning to end)
you will notice your cervix getting lower
and firmer again. It will stay this way
until a few days before you ovulate.
The bottom of the cervix that you can
easily touch with the tip of your finger
will feel like a tight little donut. It
may even feel like there's a little bump
or "flat" bubble right in the center.
This is a plug of cervical mucus which is
the third symptom we'll talk about
later.
A few days before you ovulate your cervix
will raise up and get very soft. The
opening on the bottom will feel a little
"floppy", almost like you could stick your
finger in it (but don't do that, just be
aware of the change that's happening).
The day before and the day you ovulate
your cervix will be very high, "squatty",
soft and open.
The day after you ovulate, sometimes two
days after, you will notice it change very
quickly back to firm and low, and closed
again.
All of this occurs anywhere from 5 days to
two or two and a half weeks after your
period, depending on your cycle. And
even if your cycle is irregular, you can
still observe this symptom, even though it
may not happen consistenly the same amount
of days following your period each
cycle.
This symptom of raising, softening and
opening, followed by lowering firming and
closing will coincide with your
temperature (the first symptom). The
day after you ovulate your temperature
will jump 3 or 4 tenths of a degree (ie.
From 97.4 to 97.7 or 97.8 ) and stay
there consistently for at least three
days, while your cervix will noticably
change from high, soft and open to low,
firm and closed.
Once you are confident you have ovulated,
by observing your cervix and temperature
and comparing the two, you can have sex
as often as you want until your next cycle
without concern of getting pregnant,
usually about two or two and a half
weeks.
If you want to get pregnant, you should
have sex when you know you are about to
ovulate. This time can last anywhere
from 3 days to a week and a half.
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darkV
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 26 Oct 2004 Posts: 43
This Is Good Posted: 11-05-04 16:10pm
I have used this method sucessfully too.
I read a book:
taking charge of your fertility: the
definitive guide to natural birth control,
pregnancy achievement, and reproductive
health (revised edition) by toni weschler
this has charts for you to use and
pictures. Its really great!
Darkv
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
the Third Symptom--cervical Mucous Posted: 11-17-04 14:56pm
This symptom accomagnies the changes in
your cervix.
When your cervix is low, firm and closed,
if you feel the bottom of your cervix with
your index finger (the part that feels
sort of like a little donut) you might
even feel a smooth little bump/bubble in
the middle. This is the cervical
mucous.
Cervical mucous forms a plug in your
cervix preventing sperm or anything else
from entering your uterus. A few days
before you ovulate (it differs for every
person and every cycle) as your cervix
begins to soften, open and lift up, the
mucous is released.
Normally your vagina is very acidic and a
harmful environment for sperm. They live
anywhere from a matter of hours to 72
hours in "post ovulation" conditions (the
environment of your vagina after you've
ovulated). However, before ovulation the
mucous of your cervix, which is typically
white/opaque and sort of tacky like putty,
changes to clear and very stretchy. This
changed mucous makes your vagina a very
fertile environment for sperm and they
have been known to survive up to a week
under these conditions.
You can observe your cervical mucous at
the same time you observe the changes in
your cervix. After inserting two fingers
in to your vagina and feeling your cervix
to see where it is at in your cycle, place
one finger on either side of your cervix.
With gentle pressure, move your fingers
downward on your cervix until they are at
the end (it only takes a matter of
seconds). Keep your fingers together as
you remove them from your vagina. This
is sometimes called "milking" the
cervix.
When you remove your fingers, you will
notice discharge, or mucous. It varies
in appearance and texture from woman to
woman, especially if you have an std.
But for the most part, it is usually tacky
(some what like putty, maybe a little more
stretchy) and opaque.
In the days before you ovulate, the mucous
will become more and more stretchy and
more clear. You will know when you are
about to ovulate because the mucous will
be nearly clear and you can stretch it
between your thumb and forefinger almost
as wide as, sometimes further than, your
fingers will go.
Another symptom that accompanies the
change in your cervial mucous is a feeling
of wetness. Almost every woman feels
this almost every cycle when they are
about to ovulate. There is increased
moisture that comes along with the change
in cervical mucous. This wetness occurs
on the outside of your vagina, usually
between the labia (the inside of your
vagina is always moist).
Observing this symptom, along with the
changes of your cervix and temperature,
you can be certain of when you have
ovulated.
It may take about two months to get
accustomed to the symptoms, if you've
never tried to observe them before. But
you will soon get the hang of it.
You will know you have ovulated when your
mucous has been clear and stretchy,
followed by your cervix softening, raising
up and the opening widening, and your
temperature jumping 3 or 4 tenths of a
degree (ie from 97.4 to 97.7 or 97.8 ) and
staying there for at least three days (you
*must* wait to see if it stays raised at
least three days. If it goes down after
that it is ok, but if it goes down before,
you may have just had a slight fever or
changed your morning routine slightly, and
there is a possibility you have not yet
ovulated. Be sure to wait until your
temperature has been raised for three days
before you have sex).
After you have observed all three of these
symptoms, you can have sex without
becoming pregnant until your next cycle
begins (the beginning of your next
period). You can typically have sex
through the second day of your period
without risking becoming pregnant,
sometimes the third day if you have a
longer cycle.
Of course, if you *want* to become
pregnant, you simply observe these
symptoms and when you see that you are
about to ovulate, you have sex.
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bd1012
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 1998
Posted: 11-17-04 15:05pm
Nfp= no doing it protection. I don't
know about you but I am not playing
russian roulette with something as big as
pregnancy..
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starshyne530
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2004 Posts: 90 Location: NY
Posted: 11-17-04 17:33pm
Wow, sounds like a whole lot of
unnecessary work to make sure you do or
don't get pregnant. You can always just
have your man roll on a condom or the
woman can simply take a pill/slap a patch
on and that's it (if you dont want to be
pregnant)... I really dont like the idea
of having to "map" out the good days to
have sex. Sex shouldn't be something you
have to schedule in on certain days. Part
of the fun of sex is the spontaniety of
it. If you don't want to get pregnant,
use protection every time and have fun.
If you do want to get pregnant, then dont
use a condom/pills/whatever, and have fun
trying to conceive.
Ooh, catch that word I used there? "fun"?
Yeah... I think this natural family
planning stuff sucks the fun out of life
and makes sex seem more like some sort of
chore or small animal you have to keep
track of... Lame.
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 11-18-04 16:47pm
Hey gals, this thread was just to
specifically explain the way nfp works,
because it's come up in a lot of different
threads.
Ask anyone on this board who uses nfp, it
works (obviously, that's why they use it)
and it has a lot more benefits than
popping pills and and hoping to god it
works. It's free, it's *drug* free, it's
as effective as birth control pills (99%)
and more effective that condoms (only 75%)
and it fosters communication between
partners.
If you just want to get it on whenever you
what, fine, do what you need to. But if
you're involved in a serious relationship
and want to take resonsibility for
yourself, your actions, your relationship
and your body, this is a great
alternative.
Yes, it does look like a lot, but there's
a lot of explanation so women can be sure
of what they're doing. Simplified: it's
three easy steps that take two minutes a
day to being in control of your body and
your life. Pretty valuable and important
if you ask me, and any other woman using
natural family planning.
You look pretty young by your picture, and
your post gives me the impression that you
have an attitude that you could care less,
just get it on. And that's fine for you.
But let's leave this post for the women
who are interested in an alternative to
patch, pill, or shot.
Last edited by jriegel on 11-18-04 17:02pm; edited 1 time in total
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
Don't Knock It Till You Try It Posted: 11-18-04 16:56pm
In response to starshyne,
like I said, nfp is more for people who
are involved in serious relationships,
rather than casual sex. Being aware of
your body and aware of your cycle does not
remove spontaneity and fun from sex. Far
from it. On the days you can't have
actual intercourse, you learn to get
really good at taking care of your partner
in other ways (you can also use condoms or
some other form of barrier protection on
these days if you choose).
I used to be really self concious about
giving oral sex to my husband. Because
of using nfp, I learned how to do an
awesome job (and I do give an awesome job)
and I can do that whenever I want now and
surprise him if I just want to show him I
love him, but don't feel like having sex,
not just when I can't have sex. And visa
versa for him.
Like I also said, if you just want to get
it on, fine, there are plenty of other
options, but if you are in a serious
relationship, nfp teaches partners to
communicate with and respect each other.
My husband has to learn that just because
he's worked up doesn't mean he has to get
it right then and there (although, that
can be really fun and exciting). He's
learned to control his urges and repect me
when i'm not ready (like we haven't had
enough foreplay) or when I don't want to
(sick, tired, etc.).
I've learned to be more spontaneous and
creative in taking care of his needs which
I never would have learned if we just got
it on whenever we wanted, there wouldn't
have really been a need to.
Nfp makes you grow, teaches you
responsibility and respect for your
partner.
You said "i think this natural family
planning stuff sucks the fun out of life
and makes sex seem more like some sort of
chore or small animal you have to keep
track of... Lame." if learning about
your body and taking control of your sex
life, learning to communicate with your
partner is a chore for you, the yes, nfp
is not for you.
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starshyne530
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2004 Posts: 90 Location: NY
Posted: 11-18-04 22:59pm
I have control over my sex life, and I am
in a serious relationship. I don't need
some elaborate plan in order to be
responsible... I'm being responsible by
being on birth control pills, and we use
condoms too. I don't need to "get it on
whenever" I feel like, but I dont think
everyone needs some ridiculous plan to
dictate when they can have sex. Everyone
has their own way of doing things, and
that's fantastic. I just thought I would
share my opinion on this subject. So
don't jump all over me with your
uneducated claims about how I live my
life.
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 11-19-04 17:24pm
I was simply saying that you have what
works for you, and i'm offering
information on an alternative to what
works for you because what works for you
doesn't work for a lot of people.
I was not jumping all over you, I was just
responding to your opinion which is
contrary to what i've explained here,
*which is fine*. But the fact remains
that you have not tried nfp, and you don't
have to. I never, in any way, said this
is the only right way to practice birth
control, it was simply another option that
people commonly have misconceptions about
but are very interested in, and I am happy
and capable to provide information about.
No need to take it personally.
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 11-21-04 22:25pm
I did it for a year. I did love it, but
I got a big head. I figured, I know
what's up. I don't need to keep track of
all this. And then....Pregnant. You
really need to stay on top of things.
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starshyne530
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2004 Posts: 90 Location: NY
Posted: 11-22-04 12:04pm
Dear jriegel,
you really like to push the fact that nfp
is free, *drug* free, which is cool,
because I know there are a lot of people
that dont want to have to put all kinds of
drugs into their system. But, condoms are
drug free as well. Something to think
about.
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Earth Mother
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 20
I Like It Posted: 11-22-04 14:02pm
It's really not that complicated. This
is only my second month trying it, and
really, it's nowhere near as complicated
as it sounds. I'm teaching my partner
how to do it so we can both feel secure
that we're out of the danger zone.
We can still be spontaneous, just
mindfully spontaneous.
And I feel more in control because I know
what's happening inside me, not just that
"according to the instructions ..." we
*should* be safe.
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jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 11-22-04 15:59pm
Starshyne
i completely agree with you. But condoms
are significantly less effective than bcp
or natural family planning--only 75%.
That means in a room of 100 people who
engage in sex using a condom for
protection, 25 of them are likely to get
pregnant.
Like I said, my husband and I do use
condoms during the week that I am fertile,
which is a risk we knowingly take, and so
do many other nfp couples. After that
however, we don't use any thing because,
by observing the three symptoms, we know
for sure that I have ovulated and there is
no need to worry.
Earth mother: it is so important to get
your mate involved. My husband was really
nervous about the whole thing when I first
started talking about it. But we borrowed
"the art of natural family planning" from
a friend and read a chapter together every
night (i used bcp for the first 9 months
we were married). After reading it
together, he was completely supportive
because he understood that it's totally
scientific and he also recognized the
benefits it has for our relationship--that
we are both proactive about our family,
our sex life, etc., not just him counting
on me to pop a pill every day. He became
very open to communicating with me about
this, and we have had excellent
opportunities to talk about starting a
family, are we ready? What are we afraid
of? Hoping for? Etc.
It's really strengthened our relationship,
our ability to trust each other and depend
on each other, and respect each other.
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starshyne530
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Aug 2004 Posts: 90 Location: NY
Posted: 11-22-04 16:53pm
Actually, if used properly and in
combination with spermicidal lubricants
and such condoms are supposed to be just
as effective as any other form on birth
control (99.9%)... Pretty sure about
that, i've read that dozens of times in
several different sources. Whatever...
We all have differing opinions and such
and whatever works for ya, works for ya!
p.S. No method is 100% effective in
protecting against pregnancy except not
having sex, and since that doesn't ever
happen, it's good to have a wide array of
options.
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kitty2luv
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 1089 Location: with my love
Posted: 11-29-04 09:59am
Well how is it when u are pregnant?
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 11-29-04 16:04pm
starshyne530
wrote:
actually, if used properly
and in combination with spermicidal
lubricants and such condoms are supposed
to be just as effective as any other form
on birth control (99.9%)... Pretty sure
about that, i've read that dozens of times
in several different sources.
Whatever... We all have differing
opinions and such and whatever works for
ya, works for ya!
p.S. No method is 100% effective in
protecting against pregnancy except not
having sex, and since that doesn't ever
happen, it's good to have a wide array of
options.
not trying to drag this out, but it
depends on what you like about sex. Some
prefer condoms, spermacide, and pills.
Some prefer sex a la natural. It may be
a lot of work, but the it's worth it.
Just you and your man and no man made
materials getting in the way.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 1803
Posted: 11-29-04 18:28pm
kitty2luv
wrote:
well how is it when u are
pregnant?
yeah I would like to know that too...Just
in case.
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 11-29-04 19:28pm
Do you know what they call people who
practice nfp in hospitals? Parents.
Lol!
Seriously though, when my sister got
married someone from church made her feel
very bad and guilty about choosing birth
control pills (my sister has never been
very strong in standing up for herself).
My sister and her husband both took nfp
classes and read several books. Three
months after being married and four months
using nfp, surprise, surprise, my sister
found out she was pregnant. After my
niece was born, my sister and her husband
again decided to use nfp and a month
later, she was pregnant again. My two
nieces are exactly 10 months apart. My
second niece was born and my sister
decided not to take any chances. They
used nfp once more after taking yet
another class, convinced that they had
done something wrong and it got to the
point where my sister was afraid to have
sex with her husband for fear of becoming
pregnant again. Five months after my
second niece was born, my sister again
discovered she was pregnant. After my
nephew was born, she had had enough and
not only had her tubes tied but encouraged
her husband to have a vasectomy. My
sister's experiences with nfp were quite
enough to prove to me that I wanted
nothing to do with it. Also, a few of
your posts make it seem that if you're not
using nfp, then you're not communicating
with your partner. I have never used nfp
and my husband and I have always enjoyed
an incredible connection.
. If you have
ovulated, you will know because your
temperature will remain elevated (3 or 4
tenths of a degree higher than what it was
normally right after your period) for at
least three days, usually four or five.
