Hello I am new here I did reply to a
couple of forums first but would like to
ask a few questions of my own...Can
bipolar suffers control what they do in a
hypo manic state or do they just go with
the feeling at the time? Do you really
just turn off love and if so how? When
you go up do you always come down to
depression.....They say what goes up must
come down but is it a up to a down or is
it a up to a medium level and then down?
I am so very confussed about bipolar I
thought I was educated in this subject
since I have been married to a man who has
bipolar for 28 years but it happened again
the up the quiting of meds, the messing
with meds, going up futher, needing peace,
no conflict what so ever...This is not the
way life is hating me when a week before
he loved me...He promises things and when
it comes to going for help he choice is to
stay hyper..Elavated..Crazy he does not
want the responsibility of anything has
done his job raised his children and now
lives for himself....Question since when
have children been a job? Are they not a
gift and do you just quit because your
done? Is my husband a total jerk or is
this bipolar? How can you just walk away
and leave all responsibility to someone
else? I am sorry if I sound a little
harsh but family's suffer so much because
of this ungodly illness from the devil
himself. I can't life with him but miss
the man I married....Each time he has a
manic he does not come back the way he
was....He loses something...Something is
missing...He wants out when he is manic or
hypo manic and comes back depressed
needing help.....Is it always like this?
Does this make sense hope so,,, thanks for
letting me vent....She who wonders
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 11-07-04 00:19am
It is very easy to forget that having a
mental illness doesn't alter certain
"normal" facts of life>> everyone is
different & so too everyone is
affected differently, responds differently
& to different degrees to & by a
mental illness & their meds.
Also as we get older (& here I mean
everyone not just someone with a mental
illness) we can get more difficult - some
people feel that having kids (no matter
how wanted &./or loved) meant that
they missed out on doing alot of things
they'd wanted to do & so they become
selfish > a mental illness may or may
not make this worse - as too certain meds
can impact on behaviour positively in
terms of what they're prescibed for but
negatively in other ways.
Your specific questions though do seem as
if your husband is more affected by his
illness than many people or prehaps he's
less able to control it - after 28 years
though it if it's getting worse you may
need to cinsider the alternatives &
whethre you want to exercise those options
- even considering & not opting to
take an option can make life better - at
least you know you had a choice!!
Good luck
|
boogaloo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 33 Location: kitchener
She Who Wonders --i Feel Sad For You!! Posted: 12-06-04 18:13pm
I've spoken with you before inother forum
(written ). I am very sorry that your
relationship is so stormy. I really
wanted you to know that every person is
affected differently by bi-polar illness.
I truely donot get verbally abusive with
my spouse. I actually love him
more-(hper sexual), and buy him alot (and
I mean alot) of gifts. So now after
10yrs. Of marriage, he takes my credit
cards away from me when he sees me
becoming "happy" as we like to refer to
it. I was in a relationship before this
marriage, and before I was formally dx
with this illness. He was very abusive
to me-both verbally and physical. I
believe it is easy for anyone to be so
cruel to the person closes, but I don't
believe that he can blame it all on ;his
illness. He has to take responsibility
for his behaviour. It's to easy for him
to use this as an excuse. My first
spouse (common law) was a drinker, and
always blamed it on that. When do they
take resposibility for their own actions.
You are in, regardless of reason, (and I
stand strong on the fact tha he must take
acountability for his actions, and not
blame all on his illness), I would
encourage him to go to counselling for his
anger. He needs to learn how to vent,
without being so destructive and hurtful.
If he loves you and values your
relationship, he will go as it will only
help not only your relationship, but his
inner peace as well--so he has nothing to
lose as they say, but lots to gain. Good
luck
|
boogaloo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 33 Location: kitchener
She Who Wonders --i Feel Sad For You!! Posted: 12-06-04 18:13pm
I've spoken with you before inother forum
(written ). I am very sorry that your
relationship is so stormy. I really
wanted you to know that every person is
affected differently by bi-polar illness.
I truely donot get verbally abusive with
my spouse. I actually love him
more-(hper sexual), and buy him alot (and
I mean alot) of gifts. So now after
10yrs. Of marriage, he takes my credit
cards away from me when he sees me
becoming "happy" as we like to refer to
it. I was in a relationship before this
marriage, and before I was formally dx
with this illness. He was very abusive
to me-both verbally and physical. I
believe it is easy for anyone to be so
cruel to the person closes, but I don't
believe that he can blame it all on ;his
illness. He has to take responsibility
for his behaviour. It's to easy for him
to use this as an excuse. My first
spouse (common law) was a drinker, and
always blamed it on that. When do they
take resposibility for their own actions.
You are in, regardless of reason, (and I
stand strong on the fact tha he must take
acountability for his actions, and not
blame all on his illness), I would
encourage him to go to counselling for his
anger. He needs to learn how to vent,
without being so destructive and hurtful.
If he loves you and values your
relationship, he will go as it will only
help not only your relationship, but his
inner peace as well--so he has nothing to
lose as they say, but lots to gain. Good
luck
|
boogaloo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 33 Location: kitchener
Oops--i Replyed Twice Posted: 12-06-04 18:19pm
Sorry I didn't think the first letter was
sent, so I sent it again. I did want to
mention though, that it would be good also
for you too get some counselling for your
self independantly, to get some
perspective, and objective help, to get
strength and clarity as to what you need
and want. You can't stay if you are
unhappy. You owe it to yourself to be
happy, you deserve it.--one who cares.
