I Made the Wrong Decision How Do I Deal With It???

I can only imagine the pain you are suffering through right now. I am so sorry. I would suggest seeking the help of a counsellor or therapist to help you through these rough times. You will make it through this. You did what was right for you at the time and dont ever tell yourself your a bad person. I only wish I could offer some magical comfort and take your pain away.
~darling

Yeah, just pray and maybe seek therapy to get your feelings out. Or you can just vent them to us! Im sure this has to be the hardest thing to go through. You will get over it in time. Just be brave and strong ok? If it makes you feel better type in all your feelings right here so you can let it out ok? Its best not to ever hold it in. It will eat at you. We are here for you!

First I want to ask you if you are a christian? There is nothing you can do that god will not forgive you for. The guilt you are feeling is just your conscence letting you know you did somethiing you did not believe in. I don't know if you are a christian, but all you have to do is ask god to forgive you he will. He created you and he loves you. Having an abortion dosen't mean you are a bad person. You always have to deal with the conciquences of your decision but god can make it easier. But you need to forgive yourself. If you want to become a christian all you have to do is pray the sinners prayer: admit to god you are a sinner, ask him to forgive you for all your sin and that he sent his son to die on the cross to take care of thoes sins. Tell him you want to turn your life around and accept jesus as you lord and savior, then go and tell others the good news. (sounds like you need to get rid of your boy friend ) god wants you to have the best.
Love, aches (if you need you talke e-mail me to my e-maill address

That is a big part of the problem, I don't really know how to express the feelings I am feeling. My whole life just seemed to fall apart in the matter of days. If I didn't have my son to take care of I think I would have ended it by now, and it's not that I am suicidal. I feel like I don't know myself anymore and I have been living a lie with this man that I love more then anything that all of a sudden stoped caring about me moments after he found out I was pregnant. I thought maybe if I had an abortion he would care about me again, so I went against everything I belived in and now I am alone. I even lost my job because I couldn't give them notice for the time I needed off. I'm lost and I don't even think I can feel again.

I am cathlic, I grow up in the church. I feel like I lost god. I have prayed to him. But I think you are right about me forgiving myself I just don't know how.

I am so sorry you are feeling like this. And that this guy has made you feel like this too. Of course you are going through your grieveing period but the damage is done and there is no taking it back. You need to ask for forgiveness and forgive yourself. And you need to get over this guy. You dont need him because he made this all happen.

You havent lost .God. Hes still there waiting for you. You just need to realize it. Remember it says "i will never leave you nor forsake you"

i know you have so many mixed feelings and you need to see that you cant change the past, but you can change your future. You need to ask yourself how. I think first, you need to lose this guy. Second, pray more. Last start being happy and realize there are ohter things in your life that give you happiness to forget the sadness. Good luck.

Shshsh

Hey liz I was gonna print the same poem!!!! Lol.

Nikki-i just love footprints. Always have done. When I first read it (8 yrs ago), it really touched me and ive thought of it ever since.It means a lot to me

Same here, I love it alot! I have a copy on my computer with the beach setting behind it, its nice

Here is you another poem:

unfloding the rose

it is only a tiny rosebud
a flower of gods design
but I can not unfold the petals
with these clunsey hands of mine

the secret of unfolding flowers
is not known to such as i
god opens the flower do sweetly
when in my hands they fade and die

if I can not unfold a rosebud
this flower of god's design
then how can I think I have wisdom
to unfold this life of mine

so i'll trust in him for his leading
each moment of every day
i will look to him for guidance
each step of the pilgrim way

the pathway that lies before me
only my heavenly father knows
i'll trust him to unfold the moments
just as he unfolds the rose

forgive yourself and ask god to forgive you.
Then trust him!

Aches

Thats a lovely poem aches. Thanks 4 sharing
liz :d

Here is something that might help you if you ever look at yourself & feel that you don't measure, read this and your outlook will change before you finish reading it! Enjoy and remember who you are!!! It is called:

letter from god to women

when I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils.

But, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are to delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently & perfectly fashion you.

Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him as you are meant to do.

Around this one bone , I shaped you...I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life.

The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body.

You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and he held close to his side.

You are my perfect angel....You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splended woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart.

Your eyes...Don't change them...Your lips--how lovely when they part in prayer,

your nose, so perfect in form...Your hands so gentle to touch...I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep...I've held your heart close to mine.

Of all that lives & breathes, you are most like me. Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me.

So everything I wanted adam to share & exerience with me, I fashioned in you; my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection & support. You are special because you are an extension of me.

Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of god. So man.....Treat women well.

Love her, respect her, for she is fragile.

Aches

Those were both beautiful!

Thank you everyone who did not judge me, your advice was helpful. Also I am glad to see how I would be judged if anyone in my life was to know. I feel like I should tell someone to get it out, but I am so scared to be judged. Now at least I know I would be.

Randa,
the only one you have to tell or be judged by is god and he already knowes. You don't have to tell anyone else. But you should tell your parents.

God loves you no matter what. He loves you so much he gave his son to die for our sins. So turn to your heavenly father he loves you.

Aches

Tell my parents, are you crazy, they hate me enough as it is for having my son and not marrying his father, and they know how he treated me. I lived with them then so there is no way they could have missed the cuts and black eyes, but they never asked. The day I left randons father they kicked me out, telling me they never wanted to see me again. I have not seen them sense, they still see my son though.

I don't know I am still really depressed, I don't feel normal anymore, and I am so confussed, my head hurts all the time. I dream so much about the baby I was to selfish to keep, how beautiful he/she would have been, looking at how beautiful my son is. I have a picture in my head of the baby, sex/hair/eyes everything I dream about it, and it hurts so bad, I am a horrible person, I can't believe I did this, something so desusting, I killed someone, a gift from god, I just destroyed, like it meant nothing, I deserve to die.

Randa,

if you will just hang in there your hurt will get less. You need counceling. I am sorry how your mother and father acted. They are the ones who will have to face god on their actions. From what I can tell you are a good person, you have a great life ahead of you, please talk to your heavenly father confess to him what you have done, & he will forgive you, because he loves you. Just remember he sent his son to die for your past sins and your future sines. Please do not think you are bad god made you and god makes no junk. Do you know a paster you could go to, or a place where you can get counceling? I sure there are places where you live.


You know I am a christian, I don't believe in abortion. But I do believe the the woman is just as good as she ever was. God takes us as we are all we have to do is turn to him. I am concerned about you & your depression I have bouts with depression and I go to counceling they gave me medical to help me have a normal life. The can help you too. I used think I was not a christian because I have depression, but the counclor and god show me depression is an illness just like cancer or any other disease.I beat myself up to! Please keep talking to us on the forum.

I want to be your friend even if it is on e-mail.


I love you & god loves you,
aches (catherine)

I have been on meds before, I don't like them, I always feel like I am only covering up the problem and not dealing with it, if I see a counseller all they do is give you meds and that solves the problem.

I have always been able to deal with things on my own and I have never really compltly confided ion any one, I don't even think I would know how. I am just so tired but so scared to sleep, I am worried that the way I am acting is going to effect taking care of my son, do you think that is possible.