same here! When I
first got married I could hardly stand for
my husband to touch me there. And sex was
painful, I was scared I was up for a
lifetime of disappointment.
The biggest thing for me was to relax. I
still have a hard time with my husband
stimulating me, he just doesn't know how
to touch it right, but if I never let him,
he's never going to learn. We talk
through it, like he'll try and i'll gently
tell him, try putting your finger lower, a
little more to the side, a little less
pressure, a little more of a circle, etc.
He's really patient and even brought me to
orgasm once, but that was the only time.
I almost always have to stimulate myself
while he's penetrating me.
Have you tried different positions?
Sounds like a stupid question maybe, but
different positions touch differnt
things.
My personal favorite is from behind--it's
so hot! The only way I have ever had an
orgasm without any stimulation with hands
is with my husband on top, my legs wrapped
around him with my heels digging in to his
cheeks (his other cheeks
) and then I grab
my feet and pull myself as close to him as
I can and as he's pulling out, I flex my
pelvic area so it comes up and when he's
going in I push down. This rubs my clit
in just the right way but at first it was
a little painful. I sort of readjusted my
position a little bit, and honestly just
sort of pushed through the pain. Thank
god I did!! I had my first multiple
orgasm (three times) and it was amazing.
We've only gotten to two since then, and
even that not very often, and only that
way (without hands).
Anyway, try taking time to walk through it
with him, and helping him understand what
feels good and what doesn't. Be really
aware to tell him gently if something
feels good or doesn't, because he's
already going to be nervous about it. And
be careful to be too excited about
something he does that feels good because
he will always go back to that.
Unfortunately as women the same thing
doesn't always feel as good every time.
Try different positions. We usually cycle
through two or three every time we have
sex. Try sex in the shower sitting,
standing, bending over, try sex up against
the wall with him supporting you, sex over
the bed, you on top facing away...Just get
really creative. Different modes of
penetration result in different areas
stimulated.
When I first started having sex, my g-spot
(which some people think is a myth but
for those of us who have ever felt it, it
most certainly is not) felt like I had to
pee, like he kept bumping my bladder. It
was such a new feeling the first couple
times I made him stop and I went to see if
I had to pee (usually didn't). Once I got
past that it's an incredible feeling,
gives me goosebumps on my scalp.
Different angles will reach it different
ways, just be open to exploring and
communicating.
I
hate being fingered because to me it hurts
slightly. On the other hand I can reach
an orgasm during intercourse with my
current boyfriend.
