Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 1089 Location: with my love
Jokes Im Really Bored But They Are Funny Posted: 11-09-04 20:03pm
Bear it from behind!!
There once was a bear hunter who was
having no luck in finding his quarry. All
at once, he felt a tap on his shoulder
from behind. It was a huge grizzly bear.
The hunter's shock was increased when the
bear spoke to him. "you are hunting me,
i'll bet", said the bear. "you may choose
your punishment. Either I will maul you
to death or medical question you up the
arse!"
the hunter didn't want to die, so he
consented to give the bear the pleasure of
his booty. The bear left satisfied and
the hunter returned to his cabin.
The next day, the hunter decided to kill
the bear for revenge. But, as luck would
have it, the grizzly found him first.
Once again, the hunter felt the tap on his
shoulder and the bear made his request.
The hunter dropped his pants, bent over,
and took what the beast had to offer.
The third day, the hunter was really irate
and decided he would torture and kill that
bear! Once more, though, the bear was the
better hunter. When the man felt the
familiar tap on his shoulder, he expected
to hear the grizzly's offer of a choice
again, but this time the bear just said,
"you're not really into this for the
hunting anymore, are you?!
`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~
sex in a boat = oargasms
sex with a nerd = dorkgasms
sex at the entrance to your house =
doorgasms
sex on the carpet or linoleum = floorgasms
sex at the supermarket = storegasms
sex with wild pigs = boargasms
sex at a stephen king movie = horrorgasms
sex with a prostitue = whoregasms
sex with a storyteller = loregasms
sex with an accountant = boregasms
sex while sleeping = snoregasms
sex with arthur = dudley mooregasms
sex with cartoon donkeys = eeyoregasms
sex while broke = poorgasms
sex with a lion = roargasms
sex for hours and hours on end = soregasms
sex on a golf course = foregasms
sex with a nymphomaniac = ready for
moregasms
sex in a gold mine = oregasms
sex with a dermatologist = poregasms
sex with the vice president = al goregasms
sex with chocolate marshmallows =
s'moregasms
sex with a bullfighter = toreadorgasms
sex with a masked man carrying a sword =
zorogasms
sex on the beach = shoregasms
sex when you get an award = honogasms
sex at an all you can eat buffet =
smorgasbordgasms
sex on a cruise ship deck =
shuffleboardgasms
sex in asia = singaporegasms
sex among the wonders of the world =
outdoorgasms
sex in the vicinity of garbage can =
odorgasms
sex on the way to the train = all
aboardgasms
sex that isn't very satisfying = there's
the doorgasms
sex during hay fever season = sporegasms
sex using plastic cutlery = sporkgasms
sex with a medieval poet = troubadorgasms
sex in an adult theater = hardcoregasms
sex with conquering spaniards =
conquistadorgasms
sex with someone not paying attention =
ignorgasms
sex with a competitive partner =
scoregasms
sex in a firehouse = firedoorgasms
sex with an icelandic singer = bjorkgasms
sex with the host of a horrible t.V. Show
= pauly shoregasms
sex with a cookie = oreogasms
sex while flying = soargasms
sex with a bugle player = horngasms
sex with an astronaut who didn't make it
into space = abortgasms
sex with a beloved partner = adoregasms
sex with a meat eater = carnivoregasms
sex with a person who's got a really bad
hairdo = pompadoregasms
sex with someone who has really bad taste
in clothes = velourgasms
sex while sightseeing = tourgasms
sex with a big dog = labradorgasms
sex with beavs and butthead =
gonnascoregasms
sex during an earthquake = tremorgasms
sex on farm implements = tractorgasms
sex with thomas edison = inventorgasms
sex with a construction worker =
contractorgasms
sex at a symphony orchestra =
conductorgasms
sex with a person who examines dead bodies
= coronergasms
sex on the stairs at the mall =
escalatorgasms
sex while hopelessly drunk on shooters =
liquorgasms
sex with a possessive partner = yourgasms
sex with frankenstein's assistant =
igorgasms
sex with three of your friends = fourgasms
sex with a norse god = thorgasms
sex when resistance is futile = borggasms
sex without a climax = nogasms
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Michelle1337
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 1739 Location: Houston, Texas
Posted: 11-09-04 20:05pm
I think someone has sex on her mind..
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kitty2luv
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 1089 Location: with my love
Posted: 11-09-04 20:10pm
Women's english:
yes = no
no = yes
maybe = no
i'm sorry = you'll be sorry
we need = I want
it's your decision = the correct decision
should be obvious by now
do what you want = you'll pay for this
later
we need to talk = I need to complain
sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to
i'm not upset = of course i'm upset, you
person!
You're ... So manly = you need a shave
and you sweat a lot
you're certainly attentive tonight = is
sex all you ever think about??
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have
flabby thighs
do you love me? = i'm going to ask for
something expensive
how much do you love me? = I did
something today that you're really not
going to like
i'll be ready in a minute = kick off your
shoes and find a good game on tv
is my butt fat? = tell me i'm beautiful
you have to learn to communicate = just
agree with me
are you listening to me?? = too late,
you're dead
men's english:
i'm hungry = i'm hungry
i'm sleepy = i'm sleepy
i'm tired = i'm tired
do you want to go to a movie? = i'd
eventually like to have sex with you
can I take you out to dinner? = i'd
eventually like to have sex with you
can I call you sometime? = i'd eventually
like to have sex with you
may I have this dance? = i'd eventually
like to have sex with you
nice dress = nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage
= I want to fondle you
what's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is
out of the question
i'm bored = do you want to have sex?
I love you = let's have sex now
i love you, too = okay, I said it...We'd
better have sex now!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by
showing that I am a deep person and maybe
then you'd like to have sex with me
will you marry me? = I want to make it
illegal for you to have sex with other
guys
i don't think that blouse and that skirt
go well together = I am gay
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a young man goes into a drug store to buy
condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms
come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which
the young man wants. "well," he said,
"i've been seeing this girl for a while
and she's really hot. I want the condoms
because I think tonight's "the" night.
We're having dinner with her parents, and
then we're going out. And i've got a
feeling i'm gonna get lucky after that.
Once she's had me, she'll want me all the
time, so you'd better give me the 12
pack." the young man makes his purchase
and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner
with his girlfriend and her parents. He
asks if he might give the blessing, and
they agree. He begins the prayer, but
continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "you never
told me that you were such a religious
person."
he leans over to her and says, "you never
told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Omg, omg! The pharmisist one is too damn
funny! Omg! I'm lmao!
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kitty2luv
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 1089 Location: with my love
Posted: 11-09-04 20:45pm
Yea kinda michelle lol thursday I
kno I found them on jokes.Com I thought
every1 could need a laugh or two
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Michelle1337
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Aug 2004 Posts: 1739 Location: Houston, Texas
Posted: 11-09-04 20:46pm
Hahahahaha! I agree the pharmacist one
is hillarious!!
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cherriegurl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jul 2004 Posts: 1218 Location: Washington state
Posted: 11-09-04 20:49pm
That is so danm funny im rofl that was
great!!
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kitty2luv
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 1089 Location: with my love
Posted: 11-09-04 20:52pm
I will get some more funny ones when I get
back from watching my show
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nippz
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Sep 2004 Posts: 2173 Location: ,
Posted: 11-09-04 21:27pm
michelle1337
wrote:
i think someone has sex on
her mind..
it's you michelle! Haha
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Daile
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Oct 2004 Posts: 319 Location: Missouri
Posted: 11-11-04 04:36am
That pharmacist one was sooo funny!! That
would be horrible! I think that's why
chris won't buy stuff like that at
walmart...His dad and his sis work
there!!!
Daile
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samismama
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Sep 2004 Posts: 824
Posted: 11-11-04 08:25am
Makes me wanna share with someone, but I
think sami's a bit too young
I
kno I found them on jokes.Com I thought
every1 could need a laugh or two
