I have been taking ortho tri cyclen lo
faithfully for almost 2 yrs. Now (same
time ea. Day...Haven't missed any, to my
knowledge...At least my pill box says im
on the right days). Anyway, im do for my
period tomorrow (i usually get it
wed/thurs of my placebo week, or sometimes
start late tues. Night), so I usually get
it around 28-29 days.
The last time I had intercourse was sept.
6 with a spermicdal lubricated condom.
About two weeks or so later I got my
period on time. We have "fooled around"
since then (not to be gross, but humping
with one of us having our underwear on at
one point). In oct. I was on
antibiotics for 7 days, where we did not
have intercourse, but we did do what I
said we did above. My last period was
oct.20 (just about on time, a few hours
off), it was not very heavy, but I have
been told the longer your on the pill the
shorter and lighter it can get and my
anxiety was very bad at that point which I
know can mess w/your body, along w/the
fact that I was on antibiotics that cycle
(one Dr. Even told me some of his
patients have their period 1 hr a month).
On oct.21, I got a blood preg. Test done
and it came back neg. Ive also started
taking xanax a little over 3 wks ago for
anxiety, so ive been getting some side
effects with that (ie tiredness)
my fiance' has also been diagnosed with a
rare condition of pituitary/thyroid
disease (taking androgel and synithyroid
(sp)), but his Dr. Is pretty sure he wont
be able to have children right now, if it
all. Maybe w/the help of fsh meds. My
fiance' is always getting mad at me for
worrying so much about being preg.,
because im on the pill, we use condoms,
and he may be infertile at the moment.
So he hopefully doesnt even have sperm in
his pre-cum, because thats the only thing
that would have gotten close to my
vuvla/vagina. He never ejaculates near
my vuvla though. Thank god though he is
finally going for a sperm test this
wknd.
I have been pms'ng pretty bad this month.
My breast swelled up last monday (10 days
b4 period), like they normally due
w/soreness, tiredness, my stomache was
upset a lot ( I know you can either be
constipated or go the other way, which I
did). However, I felt like I had to
urinate more (pressure feeling even if I
didnt), but several ppl said they get the
same feeling. I havent really had much
salt/sweet cravings like I normally do,
however I have had more the past few days.
I have been a little moody and depressed
the last few days (esp. Yest. I was very
depressed). I had some cramping on and
off last week along with some bloating,
and some other pms symptoms. Today, I
feel like im having cramps on and off and
some bloating. My breast are still
swollen and sore, but im just so scared
that im not gonna get my period.
Im getting married next oct. And I dont
want to screw anything up. Ive talked to
so many people about this (even my
therapist) and not one person said there
is even near a good chance I could be
preg.
What do you guys think?
Sorry this is so long.
|
jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 11-16-04 13:23pm
It doesn't sound very likely at all. It
seems it would be near impossible for you
to be pregnant with all the precautions
and circumstances.
But I am a little concerned about your
decision making process and i'd like to
challenge you to think this over:
this is obviously a very big deal to you.
If not getting pregnant before you get
married is this important to you, you
should respect yourself, your fiance, and
your relationship and future marriage
enough to hold off on the hot stuff until
you're ready to take responsibility for
the consequences of your actions. You
will have a life time to enjoy each other,
play around, get hot and bothered and take
care of each other in physical ways once
you get married, and you will have the
structure of a committed relationship to
raise your kids.
If you don't want to get pregnant before
you get married because you don't want
anyone to find out, you don't want to get
a bigger dress, you're afraid of how it
will affect your relationship with your
fiance...All of these reasons, you're not
ready to accept the responsibility for
your actions. With as upset and anxious
as you are about getting pregnant, despite
all your precautions, I would suggest, for
your own health and the health of your
relationship with your fiance, that you
find other ways to show each other you
love each other and are attracted to each
other until you are in a position where
you can handle possibility of getting
pregnant.
|
JAR81
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 65
Posted: 11-16-04 14:36pm
Thanks. I know its near impossible, but
im just always worried if I think im not
preg. Than I will be (i am seeing a
therapist, so she's trying to help me
through this). The main reason I dont
want to get preg. Is that my parents are
very strict, and dont think we even sleep
in the same room when we go away w/people
together, so if I ever got preg. They
would be extremely upset. Plus, we
already spent a lot of money on the
wedding, and I want to be able to go
through with it. (were also not
financially stable enough).
Ive tried talking to my fiance and he
understands to a point, but he thinks most
of this is just guilt, which it is, cuz I
said I wouldnt have sex till after
marriage, but we fell in love, and I knew
we were gonna get married, so I succombed
to my emotions. I just dont want to hurt
my fiance, and I know its hard on him cuz
his medications make him very "horny", and
its not all his fault, and if we live
together before we get married, its gonna
be hard not to have intercourse. But I
am going to try and talk to him again.
I know once he gets this sperm test done
and I see it in writing whether/not he can
have kids, i'll feel a lot better.
|
jriegel
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2004 Posts: 54
Posted: 11-17-04 14:35pm
I'm glad you're working through this. I
can't stress enough though, that with the
guilt you feel, the anxiety you have over
how upset your parents would be, feeling
like you have to hide a secret from
someone or sneak around, knowing that you
are financially unstable to take care of a
child, your actions are not falling in
line with your heart.
And I totally know how hard it is. My
husband and I waited until we got married
but we certainly messed around before and
got pretty close a few times. When you're
in love and you're attracted to someone
and you desire them, it is so easy to go
there and justify it with "well, we're
going to get married". But things change,
circumstances, people, you change... What
if something happened and you didn't get
married? Your guilt would easily be
doubled.
I'm not trying to tell you what to do, i'm
trying to help you be aware of what you're
feeling and how your actions are
contradicting that and it can be very
damaging to your heart, your relationship
with your fiance.
Something my husband and I had to work
through after we got married was the fact
that we didn't wait to start being as
intimate as we were, and I had to learn to
trust that he wasn't just having sex with
me because he needed to or wanted to get
off but because he loved me. Because
before we got married, he pushed, and I
gave in.
Also, from having been where you're at,
and being where I am now, sex is not what
marriage is all about. Getting married is
not going to seal your relationship, make
you love each other more, trust each other
more, love each other better. Marriage is
a committment you make to work together on
your relationship. I hate to be so cliche
but sex really is the icing on the cake.
There is so much more wonderful,
fulfilling stuff to a married relationship
than physical contact. You'll learn that.
That was probably what disappointed me
most about making out with my husband
before we got married--after we got
married and fully enjoyed each other it
was like "wow, *what* was the hurry?! We
have our whole lives, every day, any time
we're together, to enjoy each other, and
now we can do it with out guilt, without
worry that something unexpected
(pregnancy) might happen...Why were we so
impatient?"
i hope this helps you even a little bit to
sort through some of your feelings.
|
JAR81
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 10 Nov 2004 Posts: 65
Posted: 11-17-04 15:23pm
Yes it does, thank you. Its gonna be
hard not having any sex until marriage,
esp. Since we've already done it and will
be living together in a few months (not
just cuz were getting married, but we both
honestly need to get out of our homes),
but im hoping by him coming to therapy
with me next week the therapist can get
through to him and maybe help me find the
right words to say to him for him to
understand. I mean he did "push" me a
little into the sex and the fact that
everyone else around was doing it, I felt
left out. I dont totally regret having
sex with him, I was fine the first year,
but after we got engaged, (and too much
internet reading , I just started
feeling guilty and worried.
Thanks so much for your advice. I hope
he will understand and see that there are
so many other things we can do together
that we can feel the same love (maybe not
physically), but emotionally. We have so
much to do within the next yr. That im
gonna try and keep us busy when were
together so there isn't too much
temptation.
*plus once he gets the sperm test done, I
know I will feel better knowing whether or
not what are chances are of getting
pregnant right now.
, I just started
feeling guilty and worried.
