Husbands Ex-wife Is Bipolar Posted: 11-18-04 17:44pm
This is my first time, but I really need
some advice. I'll try to keep it short,
but my husband and I have been having
problems with his ex-wife for 2 years (
the total time we have been together). My
husband took his ex-wife to court to get
joint custody of their three children (
13, 12, and 10) in june 03. They've been
in a court battle ever since. She
"manics" quite frequently, is a heavy
drinker, and uses marijuana,
methamphetamines, and cocaine. She is
constantly on and off her meds (lithium).
She hates me and my husband ( although she
still has never met me). She's constantly
pitting the children against their father
and me. The courts are some help, but
it's slow going. The children are so
confused by all this and are actually the
ones suffering. It's impossible to
convince her that she is doing anything
wrong and she is constantly using the
bipolar disorder as an excuse for he
behavior. Any advise? We just want a
stable, adjusted family. How do we deal
with the children, the exwife and the
courts ( she's very good at putting on a
different face in court and the 13 year
old daughter is completely convinced that
mom never does anything wrong)? Please
help. Thank you
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 12-02-04 18:43pm
Wow, you do have problems, the kids ages
don't help either - problem years &
years when they're testing anyway much
less with all this going on.
Seems like some individual & family
counselling or even support groups (for
kids separate to you & your husband)
as you all have a need to vent & say
things that shouldn't be said in front of
each other or the kids especially!! No
point you doing the same as the ex. Talk
(if possible) to the cousellors at the
kids schools so that they're aware of
what's going on & can be on the look
out for behaviour changes & know to
also let you know not just the ex.
Be there for each of the kids, separately
& as a group - give them time &
things (things aren't just expensive
stuff) & let them know you'll listen
but be firm -0 it sounds like thier mother
wouldn't really do any of that especially
not be firm or give her time - much less
actually listen to them.
As to her putting on a good show in court
- if a private investigator is out of the
question cost wise - is there a friend the
ex doesn't know who would follow &
take some photos/video of her behaviour??
This may not seem right but where kids are
concerned I don't care about right only
what is best. I was a child welfare
officer & a probation & parole
officer so I do have some idea of what i'm
talking about.
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Littlescrewy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Nov 2004 Posts: 2 Location: AZ
Posted: 12-04-04 20:16pm
Thank you for your response. The kids
have been seeing a therapist, and it seems
to help some. I've thought about talking
to him myself, as i've been having trouble
getting past my husbands old mistakes that
present themselves every time we have to
deal with the ex. It's very frustrating
when the ex's husband admits that she's
doing meth. And the courts know, but
since she doesn't do it around the
children it seems to be ok. I've been
doing research on these drugs and the
affects are frightening. I have been
considering using a friend as a p.I. I
never thought about the school couselers,
that's an excellent idea. There doesn't
seem to be any support groups for families
who have to deal with the bipolar parent,
just support groups for the one who is
bipolar. I would love to talk with people
who have had to deal with similliar
situations, exspecially who have had
success. There is no reasoning with her.
We just want the courts to see that she
could potentially hurt the children with
her drug use and drinking; although there
has already been damage from the mental
abuse and immoral messages she gives them.
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purple333
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Dec 2003 Posts: 1420 Location: Sydney
Posted: 12-09-04 12:48pm
Www.Bipolar.Com is a
place to start - it also has links to
other sites.
There.S alot to be found by google &
type in bipolar support & informatiion
forums for bipoar or on line support to
live with bipolar.
I do think the private investigator is
needed though not only for your sake but
imagine what all this is doing to the kds.
