Joined: 22 Nov 2004 Posts: 1 Location: louisville, ky
My Partner Is Bi-polar And I Need Help!!!! Posted: 11-22-04 23:25pm
Hello- me and my partner have been living
together for 2 years and she has become
more abusive and we have started fighting
a lot like everyday she gets angry at me
from reasons to the mail isnt here yet to
I am looking at her wrong.. Now this has
been going on for 2 years and finally she
was told she has been on the wrong meds.
And she is bi-polar. Well I understand
but right now I am in no emotional state
to handle her. See my mom was just killed
and I am trying to heal myself and all she
wants to do is fight. I love her very
much and want to help but how can I help
her and not hurt myself? if anyone can tell
me what to do I welcome them with open
arms. Jdeitsch79
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she who wonders
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Nov 2004 Posts: 10 Location: minnesota
Take Care of You! Posted: 11-23-04 22:48pm
Sometimes you have to take care of
yourself. Until you are okay with you,
then and only then can you help her.
Bipolar is selfish, self centered, and
always for what they think is important.
I am not saying they have no feelings or
they don't feel what you are going through
but that feeling you have will always be
second to the emotion or feeling that they
( the bipolar person) is having.
Sometimes they just can't give you what
you are looking for. Is your
relationship worth this? Only you can
answer. I do know also that bipolar
illness is hard on the partner because
they are smart and they know how to fight
dirty and with that they have a I don't
give a rip attitude. I know how it hurts
to love someone so much but can do nothing
but wait till the mood changes, it is
their way or the highway. It will not go
away, it can get better, but will never go
away. It will happen again it always
does. Sorry if this is offending to
anyone, it is how I feel. I hope this
helped in some way.
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boogaloo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 33 Location: kitchener
Responding -don't Judge Posted: 12-02-04 02:36am
This is in respomse to the guy's letter
named jdeitsch79, and to she who wonders
who replied back. I was absolutely
horrified in this letter responding. You
obviously are an angry person who doesnot
understand the illness ( and it is just
that). This guy sounds like he has a lot
of emotions going on right now, and i'd
hate for him to be given such one sided
advise (which your letter was, and it was
more like a health forum session for you
to blow off steam). I am a female living
with bi-polar and donot have these
charateristics of which was written in
this letter you wrote i'm a very caring
nurse, mother of a teenage boy (whom i'm
very close to) and my husband and I are
best of friends . It's not easy living
with this illness, and at times
medications need to be altered, which can
cause problems as well. But what i'd
like to say to this young man who wrote
the inital letter is: first i'd like to
say how sorry I feel for your loss, it
must be unbearable at times, and I wish
you didn't have to go through this, I
really do. I hope there is support for
you and your greiving family, second is
that it sounds like your girlfriend needs
to be reassessed (her meds.)and hopfully
is taking them as prescribed. Sometimes
people have problems in life and their
relationships and so do people who have
bi-polar (without it always being "blamed"
on the illness) . You should tell her
what you are feeling, and maybe she also
greiving, and doesn't quiet know how to
deal with it herself. Counsolling for
you both as a couple would help: to teach
you coping skills- to help you deal with
life crisis, your greiving and simply
couple therapy. It sounds like you love
this woman, and every relationship has a
time when you can't see through the pain
(and you do have alot of pain going on
right now). Over all, don't make any
decisions right now. Take time away from
your girlfriend, stay with a friend if you
have to. You need time to grieve the
loss of your mother. If your girlfriend
doesn't understand that, then she needs
time also to get her priorities in line.
But don't be mistaken and don't let her
use her illness as a crutch. Women with
bi-polar are not all selfish and health
forum. Please drop another note to let
us know how you are doing
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she who wonders
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Nov 2004 Posts: 10 Location: minnesota
Responding-not Judgeing Posted: 12-02-04 22:45pm
I did not mean to offend anyone, and am
sorry if you were. I also feel sorry for
jdeitsch79, which is why I was honest.
As to boogaloo what you are horrified with
is maybe you see yourself in what I said.
I also agree that his girlfriend should
be reassessed, or is not taking her meds.
I meant to say that when bipolar illness
is not being treated nor needs adjusting
in meds this is the way actions come out
in bipolar patients. Bipolar is not easy
and I have respect and look up to those
who do not let the illness run their
lives, but are on top of it and control
the illness. Boogaloo you yourself said
that when medications need to be altered,
this can cause problems. Boogaloo,
honestly when you are on an up swing, do
you run to the doctor and say, slow me
down, I am moving to fast. I think not.
Do you argue and say I have never felt
better. I think so. Do you fight with
the ones you love the most? It is hard
to live with someone who is bipolar. You
don't have to look far to see what the
ratio is of a long marriage with a loved
one who is bipolar. Please also note
that when bipolar is treated and it works,
the person who has the illness is not the
person who is manic or depressed. The
actions taken when manic or depressed are
not the actions taken when in a medium
level. I was not talking about the person
always behaving like this just when the
illness is working overtime. Jdeitsch79
I love a man who is bipolar and have been
through many manics and many depressions,
many fights, so many hurts. I know it is
a illness, and understand everthing about
bipolar but this still doesn't make me
feel good when the anger is directed at
me. There is enough problems in
relationships, normal relationships, but
there are many more when one has bipolar.
She who wonders
if anyone can tell
me what to do I welcome them with open
arms. Jdeitsch79
