I have been dating my boyfriend for about
6 months now. Before me, he dated a girl
only a couple of times and he lend her
alot of money. He thought the
relationship was going to go somewhere.
She still owes him most of it. She used
to call him all the time. He would get
bend out of shape when she called because
it was either to ask him for $ or just
dump her problems on him. I didn't think
it was healthy when she called because he
would get bothered by her phone calls. He
told her to stop calling unless it was an
emergency. I went away 2 months ago to
see my family and when I returned he
handed me a hair clip in his car thinking
it was mine and it wasn't. I found a pad
in his house with her name on it. He said
these things were there from a year ago.
Recently she started calling again. He
hadn't told me about till I asked. He
said she only calls him when her husband
is not around. She just got married but
supposedly the guy's a creep and abuses
her. This giving her more reason to look
for my boyfriend. I'm a bit confused. I
feel sorry for her but I don't know
whether they saw each other while I was
away? Whether she looks for him really as
just a friend or as her sugar daddy? Or
are these just my jealousy issues and
should I just allow this friendship to go
on?
I'm a single mom and take my relationships
very serious but this one has me confused.
I'd love to get advice. Thanks for
reading!
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Yazmine
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 13 Oct 2003 Posts: 156
Posted: 10-19-03 16:52pm
Its seems she knows that he will listen to
her. Tell him to be completely honest
w/u. If u and her are on ok terms I would
try talkin to her urself and be calm. Let
her know that he is with u now and
although u know what shes going through,
it would be best if she didnt crowd him
with her problems and instead maybe seek
counciling or a female friend she can talk
to. Hope I helped !
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Fairy*Godmother
Supporter
Joined: 11 Oct 2003 Posts: 1387 Location: , Georgia USA
Thanks: 47
Thanked:59
She Needs to Get Over It Posted: 10-19-03 17:15pm
I am blunt and to the point....No sugar
coating. You have asked, so I will tell
you what I think..... This guy needs to
tell this "other" girl, who is
married.....To get on with her life. The
heck with the $ owed to him form the past,
consider it a loss. He needs to tell her
to leave him alone...Or, take out a
restraining order. You sound like a
really nice down to earth type person, and
this "she needs a friend" crap gets real
old real fast.....She can find another
friend somewhere else. If this guy really
cares about you and your emotions, he will
get her out of the picture. Otherwise, I
would move on. I say this, because if he
doesn't stop this now, he never will. You
do not need to have your heart broken.
Life is too short....You should not have
to deal with situations like this. There
are too many other guys out there who
would be devoted to you...And you alone!
You are special....Remind yourself of this
everyday. You play second fiddle to know
one! Good luck sweeite, keep us posted!
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pc44
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Posts: 3 Location: New Jersey
Thanks For Your Reply Posted: 10-20-03 12:31pm
I was so happy to see people had
responded. Well, here is what happened.
Your both very right. The girl needs to
move on. I'm not friends with her, i've
never met her so I couldn't speak to her
myself. I was very upset with the whole
thing so I told my boyfriend. I needed
some days alone. The real reason was I
wanted him to think was it really worth
all of this. He didn't like not speaking
for two days and realized on his own, he
would lose a good thing over something
that was not worth it. We don't argue
and have had a great relationship except
for this. He decided he needs to tell
her she needs to go to her husband with
things and leave us alone. Actions speak
louder than words hopefully he'll do what
he has said. He also had a good bonding
session with his dad, he also helped him
with the money deal. Their getting their
accountant to deal with the money owed.
Thank you so much for responding!! If
there's anything I can ever help with
please ask!!
!
