Joined: 25 Nov 2004 Posts: 238 Location: Hampshire- England
My Mum And Nan Do Everything For Me... Posted: 11-25-04 10:49am
Im 26 weeks pregnant, ive known since I
was 6 weeks, I didnt tell my mum and nan
till I was 12 weeks though.
Ever since I told them, thyve been doing
everything for me, well... Everything
too do with getting things organisized for
the baby anyways.
I was at college, but I had too drop out,
as the chemicals in the dark rooms could
have affected my pregnancy, and I was too
far gone too get a job anywhere. So I
now stay at home and clean the house. I
live with my nan, who is highley obese,
and dosent do anyhting, coz of
complaining about her back, where I have
pulled my back out like 12 times doing
house work. My boyfriend is getting
upset with me for doing all the housework,
and being under lots of stress as well.
My mum and nan keep going out together,
and talking baby things, and buying
everything, which is upsetting me and my
boyfriend, because we have been working
very hard at saving money too buy the cot
and the pushchair, and all the other baby
things that we are going too need.
Does anyone know what I can do too tell my
family too stop butting in with my
pregnancy? I dont want too hurt them.
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Moira
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2004 Posts: 302 Location: somewhere where it rains a lot
Posted: 11-25-04 12:14pm
Sounds like a difficult situation max.
As long as you stress that you really
appreciate what they do for you, they
should be fine. Try to explain that it's
important to you and your boyfriend that
you take responsibility for your baby and
that you want to do things together to get
ready for your new family. They may just
thing they're helping you out and not
realise that it upsets you, or maybe
they're just excited and want to spoil the
kid rotton. At the end of the day, you're
the parents and you should get to decide
and get to do things yourself. As long as
you're appreciative and not disrespectful,
they should understand - they've both gone
through it themselves, so they should
understand how you feel.
Regarding the housework, it's important
that you don't harm yourself and at 26
weeks you must be finding it pretty
difficult. The problem is if you're nan's
obese, she's not in much of a better
position - can you talk to her and explain
that as you're both "disabled" you need
her to help - it is her great grandchild
in there so she must want to look after
both of your health.
Let us know how it goes!
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Max_Mummy too be
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Nov 2004 Posts: 238 Location: Hampshire- England
Posted: 11-25-04 12:39pm
Yeh I have tried talking too my family,
but they go on about it being a
grandmothers priorative, just feels like
they dont trust me too do it on my own.
Making matters even worse, is me and my
nan live in a one bedroom flat, and I
wont get my own place untill 6-9 months
from now.
And house work, it seriously is, "if I
dont do it it wont get done"
on another note..
I think this is the best forum ever! I
feel so supported already. Thankyou.
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Moira
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 21 Nov 2004 Posts: 302 Location: somewhere where it rains a lot
Posted: 11-25-04 13:41pm
max_mummy too be
wrote:
yeh I have tried talking too
my family, but they go on about it being
a grandmothers priorative, just feels
like they dont trust me too do it on my
own.
have you tried putting it to them that
way? Try telling them firmly that it's
the grandmas perogative to support the mom
and spoil the kid, not control the
pregnancy. If it's stressing you out it's
no good for you. It's your baby, not
theirs.
max_mummy too be
wrote:
making matters even worse,
is me and my nan live in a one bedroom
flat, and I wont get my own place untill
6-9 months from
now.
is there any way around this? Are you
entitled to any welfare?
max_mummy too be
wrote:
and house work, it
seriously is, "if I dont do it it wont
get done"
oh dear, that's not fun...Have you tried
telling your nan that you're just not up
to it? It's important that you don't
strain yourself. Can you cope with the
house a little less tidy than you'd
like?
max_mummy too be
wrote:
i think this is the best
forum ever! I feel so supported
already.
Thankyou.
glad to hear it! Post anytime you need
to blow some steam off!
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3717 Location: , va
Posted: 11-25-04 19:39pm
Just to let you know congrats first of.
Secondly this is my opinion and I have 5
children and im preggo now.I wouldnt get
upset with them buying everything or doing
everything. I understand that you and
your man want to do it, but the truth is
hun you have 18 more years to buy stuff
for this child, and you can never and I
stress never have to much stuff for a
baby. You can always still go out and get
what you want as well. 2x everything is
better than 1 that is how I llok at it.
Also let them be happy and excited too.
Some people dont understand but me I do.
I just wish that I had someone buying
stuff for me. I hope this doesnt sound or
seem to harsh just given and explanation
from another view. Good luck hun, and
just maybe you can tell them what you guys
want to buy and ask them not to get that..
Compromise good luck hun
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mommax3
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1134 Location: Virginia
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