Does Adderall Cause Depression? Posted: 11-28-04 03:55am
If anyone has gone through this or is
going through it now, please give me some
feedback (sorry its so long, but I needed
to explain everything and maybe it can
help someone else- so if you don't want to
read the entire message, my main question
is in caps at the very end):
i go to nyu business school and its really
demanding, particularly because I hate it
and have no interest in business. I
constantly feel inadequate and different
from everyone in my classes and this makes
me not want to get up in the morning.
Its my last year now, and lately I have
been terrified of where I will be after
graduation. It hit me that the only
reason I had been sticking it out was to
please my father who loves me insanely and
wants whats best for me (he lives in
chicago and doesn't really know or
understand what I have been going through,
partially b/c I hide things from him but
mostly b/c he is such a strong person that
he can't understand how depressed and
lonely and unmotivated I feel), and I am
so scared of disappointing him, especially
considering how I have been coping with
the pressure recently.
For the past two years I have let my
grades slip drastically and I didn't know
why. I knew I hated my classes but I had
been able to stay motivated in high
school, so I didn't realize what was
happening- I thought I was lazy. I would
stare at my textbooks for hours and cry
and worry but I could not bring myself to
read them. So I would busy myself with
anything else - tv, talking on the phone,
writing, drawing, going out like a maniac,
joining extracurricular activities-
anything to avoid studying. Then I
learned about add and how adderall was a
"magic pill", so when this semester
started I got a few pills from my cousin
and could not believe how incredible I
felt and how it made me want to do my
work. So I began taking them on an
almost daily basis to study. I would
take them mainly at night so I could be
completely alone and concentrate and I was
able to do all my work on time which made
going to class not so terrible.
Then I got my first test back, in a class
I worked my ass off in and never skipped,
and I got one of the lowest grades in the
class. That was the first time I had a
nervous breakdown, because I actually did
everything I could and was trying with
everything I had but it wasn't enough- I
wasn't enough. But I knew that this
diploma was the only thing I really had to
show for myself and I couldnt give up.
So I increased my dosage.
Simultaneously I was dealing with an
immense amount of other stress: incredibly
painful break-up with my bf, my unstable
relationship with my mother (who is a very
selfish person and whose chronic
infidelity caused two divorces and who is
now dating a married man and living off of
him, which is also screwing up my little
half-sister), a little cousin who is a
drug addict hitting rock bottom (and whom
I feel obligated to take care of b/c her
rich parents are never there and don't
know how to parent at all), crazy debt,
being president of two student
organizations that take up a lot of time,
and the realization that I have no idea
what to do with my life.
So, with all this happening at once, I
guess I crumbled under the pressure
without even realizing it. I began to
feel weak and drained, and did not even
notice the weight I was losing. I went
from 152 lbs to 110 (but only 20 lbs was
from the adderall, the rest was from
atkins over the summer). It gave me
pleasure to see the numbers dropping, and
still does, but I don't see in the mirror
what everyone else sees. My friends are
all worried sick about me and say I got
way too thin, but I feel i'm still
overweight (even though the ideal weight
for my height is b/w 115-120 lbs). I
have gotten to the point where I couldn't
even look in the mirror I was so disgusted
and ashamed of how ugly I am, and no
matter how many people tell me I was
beautiful and thin I can't even listen to
it.
Aside from the drastic weight loss I have
a chronically fast heart beat (which is
dangerous for me b/c I have a weak heart
from all my dieting and stress, and faint
from time to time), terrible irritability
and mood swings, loss of interest in
seeing my friends or going out lilke I
used to, and total emotional instability-
guilt, shame, self-hatred, worthlessness,
the whole nine yards. I no longer enjoy
the clubs I am president of even though
they used to give me a sense of purpose.
The worst side effect is probably the
terrible anxiety I can't seem to shake.
I have waves of panic that randomly come
over me, sometimes so strong that I cry.
I get scared of nothing all the sudden and
I don't know how to control it.
My other recent habits have expanded to
smoking at least a pack a day(i'm 21 now,
but never touched a cigarette until a year
ago when I was so upset I couldnt think of
anything else), occasional cocaine use
(when I can't get addy or when i'm going
out, which is rare now), and a series of
one night stands, not many but more than
usual (although I have no faith in men
anymore and no interest in sex and do it
mechanically).
My every day begins and ends with one
concern: how can I get more adderall? I
am afraid to get perscribed b/c I am under
my dad's insurance and I can't have him
knowing, so I buy from dealers or people I
know. When I can't get it I break down
mentally, emotionally, and physically. I
fiegn so badly I turn my body into a
garbage disposal stuffing it with any kind
of upper I can get my hands on-
phentremene (a strong diet pill that I
heard has an effect similar to addy and is
only prescribed to obese ppl so I bought
it online by lying about my weight),
caffiene pills, zantrex (another strong
diet pill), coke, etc etc. I have spent
crazy money buying pills, and I will pay
anything to anyone and go anywhere just to
get one pill.
I never thought I was an addictive person.
I always thought I had great willpower
because I used to be really squeaky clean
and was always able to lose weight
whenever I set my mind to it (i have been
struggling with weight issues since I was
10), but now I realize that I have always
been addictive and extreme- addicted to
controlling my body even through
starvation, addicted to being anal because
it meant I had myself under control,
addicted to my ex-boyfriend who did
nothing but hurt me (and I still am), and
the list goes on. I used to think my
past problem with alcohol was me "having a
good time" until I realized I was drinking
vodka alone at home. I thought me
smoking weed every day over the summer was
because I was bored, but I finally
understood it helped me numb myself to the
pain of my crumbling relationship (the
only good things about addy is it helped
me stay away from weed and alcohol). And
now I am addicted to adderall (i finally
admitted it a couple days ago), or more
percisely, the feeling of controlling my
mind and my weight- but it has made me
spin completely out of control. I refuse
to trust almsot anyone, and I am terrified
of gaining weight (so I sometimes throw up
intentionally if I do eat something I
consider a lot - which isn't much). I am
sabatoging relationships with certain
friends I don't have the energy for
anymore. I am always tired, I am always
depressed, and I am always horribly
lonely.
I have people who love me- I have my
father and my half-sister and wonderful
friends, but today was the first day I was
able to open myself up completely to my
best friend who lives back in chicago. I
hadn't been able to get addy for a week (i
finally got some tonight but it doesn't
seem to be kicking in too well) so I was
crashing horribly and took so much
phentremine I couldn't get out of bed this
morning. I layed in the same position
and watched tv for 12 hours and cried.
When I broke down to my friend on the
phone she stared crying too because she is
going through a similar situation, so that
helped a little- to finally get it out.
One of my other friends noticed I didnt
sound well so she came over to my house
and talked to me. She suggested I go to
a school counselor and talk to them. I
am going to go tomorrow, but I am so
embarassed and scared. The first thought
through my mind was - maybe the
psychiatrist at school can prescribe me
adderall...But then I realized that would
mean I can't talk about my addiction with
him/her which is what I should be doing.
I feel utterly stuck. I don't know what
to do with myself anymore, and I am hoping
that when I leave to chicago for winter
break that I will be able to detox but I
am seriously starting to doubt it. I
never thought I would be in this
situation- I was always so decisive and
convinced in things...Now I can't even
make a simple decision, not to mention one
about my future.
I want to stress that I take full
responsibility for my addiction,
regardless of the crazy stress in my life.
There are people without family, without
friends, who come from abusive, inhumane
conditions, who have all odds against
them, yet gather the will and strength to
become incredible, successful people
without turning to drugs or any other easy
ways out. I don"t blame anyone. I
probably do have add, but I went about it
the wrong way. I know people who are
prescribed to adderall and don't exceed or
abuse their prescriptions and truly
benefit from this medicine, and I should
have gone to a doctor and gotten advice
from the beginning of all this. I wish I
could turn back time, I wish I could start
over and make different choices, but
regret is useless. I am trying to muster
some hope that I will be able to recover
from this nightmare soon. How ironic,
that something that can make you feel so
high ends up making you feel so low. I
just want to warn anyone considering this
pill to please please please seek
professional advice- and preferably from
more than one source, because some doctors
like to hand it out like candy.
So my main question is: does adderall
abuse cause depression, or does depression
lead to adderall abuse???
P.S.: I want to thank everyone who took
the time to read and/or answer this post-
it's nice to feel you have people who can
relate.
|
krispy011
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Jun 2004 Posts: 13 Location: Pennsylvania
Posted: 11-29-04 05:36am
In response to your question and from my
own experiences, adderall abuse causes
depression, not vice versa. You may
already be experiencing some depressed and
stressed moods, but adderall is good at
amplifing those if you don't already have
them.
I like to look at adderall abuse in the
snowball effect:
you begin taking it and appetite is
surpressed on day one; gradually upping
your dosage to feel it more, you sleep
less resulting in brain and muscle tension
b/c they have not gotten a reasonable
relaxation period. This constricts your
ability to think clearly which is
frustrating, and your stiff muscles
reflect your brain; little eating is
causing malnutrition and your body works
extra hard to deliver the proper
nutrients, but struggles therefore tiring
you out and giving you no sense of new
energy; weeks or months of this become
burdensome. Your priorities slip and your
personality is out the door. You distance
yourself from friends and family b/c a
loner is what adderall has made you become
and if they actually knew to the extent
your problem was it would be too shameful
to bare; anxiety is increasing from the
180 your body just pulled and once simple
situations are now frustrating b/c without
the proper essentials your mind can't run
that fast; these problems keep growing,
and even if it may seem like they have
stabilized at a low level and they can't
get any worse, chances are that on the
inside where you can't identify with them,
they're just building you up for a major
crash or for later complications.
Anyway, my point is that adderall seizes
your true personality & worth in life,
stuffs your body into a long, dark,
secretive hiding spot, and tries to pass
you off to the world as yourself when on
the inside you have been replaced with
fear, anxiety, depression, stress,
inferiority, shame, and all kinds of
negativity.
If you have come to the point where you
realize you need to seek help through a
professional, all the more power to you.
But if you choose to remain on adderall
for whatever reason, here are some
pointers that might make your day a little
more productive: if your not going to eat
take a multi-vitamin; if you eat a little
make it healthy foods and don't omit all
carbs b/c how else will you get energy?
Try to exercise, like a long walk everyday
to work your heart, or at least take 10
minutes out of the day to do stretching
exercises. If one night you know you are
not going to sleep, at least lay down on
the bed and shut your eyes for an hour or
so or allow down-time. Before you make
any decisions, simple or complex, ask
yourself what seems natural for you to do
or say. If going to the bar on friday
would be usual for you and the girls but
you don't feel like being social, go
anyway to prove to yourself that you're
not phased.
Lastly, I know that the certain situation
I am in will not be solved through my
pyschiatrist or any kind of counselling,
b/c as low as i've gotten and risen right
back up again, I am not willing to commit.
So unless you're really ready to rid your
life of addiction, you might have a
difficult time "detoxing" with some dude
that will listen to your woes but will not
be able to correct them. Doing so is all
in your head, not in his medical books.
Our bodies and mental states are
completely different so don't hold me to
any of this. I am just glad I was able to
give my input and get a little off my
chest, as well. I can most definitely
relate to what you said. It's nice to
know there's someone to compare with
having no need to feel shame. Keep me
posted.
<---- how I
feel right now.
-k
|
OutsideSizes
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Nov 2004 Posts: 22 Location: NYC
Thanks So Much Posted: 11-29-04 08:21am
Hi krispy
thanks for your advice. Its a scary
thing to go through, and I can just feel
myself slipping deeper and deeper. I
don't want to go to a counselor to get
advice necessarily or get help quitting, I
just want to let my thoughts out to
someone, and maybe they can tell me
something useful, but I don't expect a
fast or easy solution. I was always so
proud to be in control of myself and to
realize within a one week period that i'm
not at all in control and that im
seriously depressed
i have been forcing myself to eat even
though its hard sometimes, and I will
start taking multi-vitamins like u
suggested. I was thinking about that
actually, but didn't know if it would
help. I have also been making myself go
out sometimes, just to keep up a sense of
normalcy. It hasn't really helped but at
least i'm somewhat distracted for a few
hours, and as long as its not an overly
crowded place I get some relief from the
anxiety, which has definitely been the
worst side effect. I will try to do some
light excercise but even walking up a
flight of stairs takes the wind out of me,
so I hope I won't pass out in the middle
of a walk- which I have a tendency to
do.
I just hate the person i've become,
especially the anger I feel and how I take
it out on people I love. I completely
went off on my best friend last night for
no reason and I felt so bad a second
later, but I was just raging. I mean, I
can handle the insecurity and lonliness
b/c those are internal and only affect me,
but hurting people I care about makes me
feel absolutely disgusted with myself.
Anyways, thank you. Getting advice on
this forum has really helped me through
the last couple days! Keep me posted
too.
Nothingfits- wow. My jaw like hit the
floor when I read your post. It was like
someone else writing my life story without
me knowing and then me finding it online
and reading it myself. I can't believe
how many things you said in there that
specifically happened to me as well.
I am a 22 yr. Old female. I used to
drink vodka by myself at nights, too, in
college, thinking it was just cuz I was
bored.... I also have struggled with
eating disorders, which lead me to become
addicted to diet pills (xenadrine,
stackers - with ephedrine, before it was
illegal) I started at 212 lbs (5'7") I got
down to 170 with diet pills, then the
eating disorder led me to become a meth
addict for 3 years, bringing my weight
down to 134. I lost 78 lbs in total and
when I looked in the mirror I saw a fat
girl and everyone who knew me thought I
looked sick. My hip bones and shoulder
bones stuck out really badly and my face
looked like a skeleton. I was always
pale and had dark circles under my eyes
and my lips were red from chewing on them
and my skin was blotchy from bad
circulation. I've been off meth for 15
weeks now, but I am still addicted to
adderall (been on it for 2 years). I
freaked out in college because I was so
unhappy with what I was doing, and was
super depressed because of the guy I was
in love with at the time. I spent the
majority of my time alone -- either super
high all the time, or sober and depressed,
crying my eyes out all the time. I ended
up skipping my finals because I couldn't
get out of bed during a withdrawl period,
losing my job, failing out of college and
losing a lot of friends. I'm now
enrolled in another school, doing
something I actually really love, that
i've always wanted to do and i'm sooo
happy. Like I said, I hit my 15th week
of sobriety from meth this past weekend,
but am still highly addicted to adderall.
I would love for you to keep in contact
with me if you need help or advice, or
just someone to talk to. My e-mail
address is insom
niacalito@aol.Com if you want to get a
hold of me. I hope you do, i'd love to
talk to you about this.
Hope to hear from you
|
happywomannow
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Washington, DC
Time to Get Some Help Posted: 01-18-05 18:03pm
I read your post and felt truly bad. I
want to tell there is hope and when you
get off adderall...It's a little bit of
hell for a few weeks and then you'll be
better.
I am clean for 7 weeks. I am in corporate
america and I thought it was the only way
to get through a day. Plus, I felt so far
superior to others because I was a size 4.
Oh, great, look at me....I am never
interested in eating fattening food. I
screamed at my husband and daughters and
co-workers and they never knew what person
would show up daily.
After a party where I told my husband off
for everything...He told me our marriage
was over. I admitted to adderall
addiction and went off of it. The first
few weeks were a blur. Depression,
anxiety, you name it. Now, I feel so much
better. I've gained about 5 pounds....Big
deal...I can live with it. I can work out
and feel wonderful. My skin looks great
and I feel like a million bucks. Do
yourself a favor and get some help. If
you can't do it alone, admit yourself to a
clinic for a short time. Unfortunately,
adderall is like having a secret
friend...However that friend is an enemy
that is destroying the person you are.
|
janell
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jan 2005 Posts: 1 Location: sarasota, florida
Arent You Supposed to Get Addicted to Adderall? Posted: 01-24-05 22:21pm
Here I am, addicted to amphetamines
thinking, why didnt anyone mention this to
me? About a year ago, I talked to my
doctor about my concern for how happy I
was with my adderall. I was always so
adiment about being drug free... He was
so totally blase about the whole thing,
and that was the most alarming part of
all.
Adderall changed my life. It was 4 years
ago and I saw its results the very first
day that I took it. I thought to myself,
"oh my god. So this is what it's like to
have a normal persons brain." I was
diagnosed with add in 5th grade, and
adderall was the first time that I
actually realized how hard my day to day
was without it.
I dont think people with add are "absent
minded." I resent that. My problem was
over-processing everything. Driving my
car:"the light is green. The light is
green. Green means to go. What if it
changed to yellow now? Would I have time
to stop? What if it changed now.. Now...
The light is still green. Could I stop
for it now? What if someone runs this
light? Im going through the light and its
still green. Green means go, right? Im
through the light.. Oh my god, was that
light still green?" and I would scrunch
down and look in my rearview to make sure
it was still green. I do know green means
go, and with adderall, its just more of a
check point. When I started driving again
(pre adderall car crashes left me hitching
rides for 3 years) I realized at first and
would panic that I hadnt paid any
attention to the color of the light. Then
I realized that I actually had looked at
the light and my brain knew it was ok,
even thought I hadnt obsessed myself into
confusion over it. This is true, as well
as a metaphore for everything in my day.
I know, wow.
So here I am. A senior in design school
and recently admitted to myself im
addicted and im pretty pissed about it
actually, and also torn. It helps me...
But I see the symptomatic effects also. I
get a sense of happiness when I pull
several all- nighters (a sustained adderal
dose, minus sleep. Not overdosing. I get
tired too, but I keep working...). The
small things in the world become beautiful
to me and it feels like falling in love.
..And I hear myself sound like a sick
person...
But lets say that adderall works for me,
and after college I sleep on a more normal
schedule. Is that the point of this drug?
To become addicted is a give in, and if
everything else is ok, then what? Drug
dependant sounds nicer... Is that what is
supposed to be?
And what has helped other people? Is
there really going to be something I can
feel this good about, or is that my crazy
addiction talking? I participate in
wholistic lifestyle and im interested in
suggestions. And can you relate to my
stop light scenario? Its the best way ive
come up with to describe my thought
process to people that dont have add, but
I havent talked about it with add
people.
Talk on. I joined this just so I could
vent in response to you all, and maybe for
you to respond to me.
Janell
|
happywomannow
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 18 Jan 2005 Posts: 4 Location: Washington, DC
Aren't You Supposed to Get Addicted to Adderall. Posted: 01-25-05 08:54am
When I read your response, my heart when
out to you. The doctor gave you the
medication because you need it. Thanks
for explaining how your mind works. My
daughter has add and explains it a bit
like that...She said many thoughts run
through her head.
It's a shame that your doctor doesn't
listen to you. Mine doesn't either and I
don't go to him anymore. You have a bit
of a dilemma. Go see someone else. I
understand the happy sense of well being.
I liked it...But I hated the mean side
that went with it.
Please write again and let us know what
happens. Go seek advice elsewhere
(another doc). The psychiatrists are
getting lazy.....Like well paid dealers.
|
Paris21
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Sep 2005 Posts: 1
Posted: 09-14-05 02:18am
I am 21. Recently I have been taking
adderall to focas and study. It really
helps me and I think I have add. I am
skinny and always have been. Everyone has
always told me that I was beautiful and I
have always felt that I had to uphold this
reputation. My junior year I gained a
little weight and to control it I began
throwing up. This led to my problem now,
I am bulimic and have been since I was
about 17. I hate it and feel ashamed and
depressed all the time. I want to stop
but its very hard. When I am hungry I try
and choose to eat the healthy foods so
that I wont regret eating and maybe wont
throw up but the pleasure from eating
always makes me overeat and leads to me
bingeing. Sometimes its not even
something I want to do I just cant stop.
When I take adderall though I dont get the
urge to do this. I eat when im hungry and
thats it. I dont know what to do.
|
Hightension24
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Aug 2005 Posts: 65 Location: Houston
a Lot of People On Adderall Develop Eating Disorders... Posted: 09-25-05 03:24am
I've always been the kind of guy who ate
perfect, spent way too much in the gym,
played basketball twice a week and
adderall seemed to make all of this so
much fun. I got in awesome shape. I
had to get off of adderall and I gained
weight that I had never had before. Now
that i'm back on adderall, 30 mg xr and 30
10 mg tabs, one each a day, my weight is
back to normal and my waist is back down
to 30. You need to quit throwing up
though, because it's hard to be beautiful
when all of your teeth are rotting and
your hair is falling out. The only times
I puked is when I ate a whole chocolate
cake because I was disgusted with myself.
Later on.
|
DivineIntervention
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jun 2005 Posts: 30 Location: Remote cave in Iraq
Re: Arent You Supposed to Get Addicted to Adderall? Posted: 10-03-05 22:50pm
janell
wrote:
here I am, addicted to
amphetamines thinking, why didnt anyone
mention this to me? About a year ago, I
talked to my doctor about my concern for
how happy I was with my adderall. I was
always so adiment about being drug free...
He was so totally blase about the whole
thing, and that was the most alarming part
of all.
Adderall changed my life. It was 4 years
ago and I saw its results the very first
day that I took it. I thought to myself,
"oh my god. So this is what it's like to
have a normal persons brain." I was
diagnosed with add in 5th grade, and
adderall was the first time that I
actually realized how hard my day to day
was without it.
I dont think people with add are "absent
minded." I resent that. My problem was
over-processing everything. Driving my
car:"the light is green. The light is
green. Green means to go. What if it
changed to yellow now? Would I have time
to stop? What if it changed now..
Now... The light is still green. Could
I stop for it now? What if someone runs
this light? Im going through the light
and its still green. Green means go,
right? Im through the light.. Oh my
god, was that light still green?" and I
would scrunch down and look in my rearview
to make sure it was still green. I do
know green means go, and with adderall,
its just more of a check point. When I
started driving again (pre adderall car
crashes left me hitching rides for 3
years) I realized at first and would panic
that I hadnt paid any attention to the
color of the light. Then I realized that
I actually had looked at the light and my
brain knew it was ok, even thought I hadnt
obsessed myself into confusion over it.
This is true, as well as a metaphore for
everything in my day. I know, wow.
So here I am. A senior in design school
and recently admitted to myself im
addicted and im pretty pissed about it
actually, and also torn. It helps me...
But I see the symptomatic effects also.
I get a sense of happiness when I pull
several all- nighters (a sustained adderal
dose, minus sleep. Not overdosing. I
get tired too, but I keep working...).
The small things in the world become
beautiful to me and it feels like falling
in love. ..And I hear myself sound like
a sick person...
But lets say that adderall works for me,
and after college I sleep on a more normal
schedule. Is that the point of this
drug? To become addicted is a give in,
and if everything else is ok, then what?
Drug dependant sounds nicer... Is that
what is supposed to be?
And what has helped other people? Is
there really going to be something I can
feel this good about, or is that my crazy
addiction talking? I participate in
wholistic lifestyle and im interested in
suggestions. And can you relate to my
stop light scenario? Its the best way
ive come up with to describe my thought
process to people that dont have add, but
I havent talked about it with add
people.
Talk on. I joined this just so I could
vent in response to you all, and maybe for
you to respond to me.
Janell
its a crazy addiction.. Even the people
who come to a relization of the addiction
and know very well the extent of damage it
could cause and have created an estimate
of the damage they linked it to in the
past. It seems to hold no presidence
over the decision to continue or
discontinue the use of the drug. To give
an example to a reader who has not
experienced such things, take your
computer for example.
Lets say you have a pentium 4 1.4ghz and
you found a way you could overclock your
processor speed to 3.4ghz with no
modifications needed just as easy as
clicking one button. This process is
said to be safe and will not cause
overheating or deterioration of
components. 3-4 months go by your
getting stuff done blazing fast and it was
as easy as one click.
If you found out that later this procedure
might be linked to some errors here and
there and some reports are saying this
procedure may have been linked to
components melting and overheating and
complete system failures in some cases.
Would you want to go back? You could live
with a few errors right?... And maybe
those few reports are just coeincidences
and some outside elements factored into
that.
Note - I used the computer as a metaphor
for your life and the processor upgrade a
metaphor for the adderall.
*processors are used by computers for
making calculations and managing the
information flow to the memory.
Adderall is not a cure for anything it is
prescribed for. It is a temporary fix
much like taking tylenol for a headache..
It wont prevent future headaches. When
adderall is prescribed I believe it is
kinda meant to be taken forever. Is
addiction the same thing as routinely
taking a drug forever I have no ideal lol.
Looks pretty damn similiar. Addicts
are said not to be able to stop. If you
have a add would you be able to just stop
and be fine?
I do not have add so take this into
consideration when you read all my
adderall postings.
|
generalshafto7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: brick, nj
This Adderal caca Posted: 11-01-05 03:58am
Hey my name is teddy n I am 17 yrs old
listen I guys I no wat u r talking bout
trust me all tho I didnt take it cuz I
have add or adhd I was just a drug attic.
I did everything I could get my hands. I
mean everything! After living that way
for 3 yrs straight not very long but long
enough to become addicted to the
weed,crack,(dope only did 2x dont like)
coke, adderl n lots of other pills, by
this I was addicted to just striaght up
drugs n the need to b high, I was high
every day for 3 yrs straight but then one
day I get suspended from skool cuz they
wanted to drug test me n I would ahve
failed so ya n then I couldnt go to prom
wit my girl n I was was upset as was she n
then I ask her wat do ut hink bout me
doing all the caca I do n do u want me to
quit she said idc if u quit or no but I do
prefer u did so from then (8 months ago)
to now I still clean.. I quit cold turkey
one day doing it tot he enxt stop
everything all at once n I did it wit eez.
It just depends on how badly u want to
quit, ur reason for quiting n what is
gonna b motivating u. Is my case I wanted
to quit cuz I was getting in lots of
trouble but I also didnt cuz I was just
having so much fun.
My reason of quitting was my g/f who I
love so much but I wanted to make her
happy n show her I wasnt a useless drug
attic n I have control over it which I
didnt cuz it was harder then I thought.But
seeing my g/f b proud of me n being happy
everyday was def worthe it. The best
motivation of all time. I went through
some crazy withdrawls nothing deadly just
got cold n hot swets n blacked out once
in a while n I was very edgy all the time
I would get mad over the stupidist n
littlest things. Honestly of course I
wanted to just u no get high but I knew my
g/f would b disappointed n it would b
showing her I cant live wit out the caca.
Well I just thought bout the reward of
being clean. Only the 1st month was hard
but I got through it it isnt bad being
sober I actually like it...In order to
achieve this goal of mine I new I had to
make a great sacrafise which was dropping
every single person who was associated
with the caca which was every single
friend of mine so I was down to no friends
which I still ahve none well I kept just 1
so I had some 1 u no.She was my best
friend for 1 yr (we did some crazy caca I
will get into that on my next post of some
caca I did). She only smoked pot n did
some pills but she was my best friend n
was considerate not to do the caca in
front of me but she was alwayz high in
front of me which didnt bother me in fact
it gave a new perspective on ppl who did
that caca cuz from my new perspective of
being sober she looked like a dirtbag but
I still loved her.But eventually ppl went
to her house n they were all constantly
doing drugs infront of me but it was e z
to say no like I didnt have n e thought to
wanting to do drugs at that point but
later on it would get hard again the
craving doesnt stay dormant forever every
couple months I started to crave all the
caca again I was just like I want to b
high I been sober long enough ect... But
I fought it n stayed clean but in all
honesty I did medical answer up only once
after being clean for 3 months I smoked a
10 bag of marijuana only once, which isnt
bad from being high everyday for 3 yrs
straight. N regreted it n didnt even like
being high no more so from that point on I
had no craving wat so ever n I been clean
ever since. So the moral to this little
story of me is it is possible n u dont
need professional help u just need to
really really want to quit n u have to b
willing to make sacrafises n have a good
motivation have a reason to quit but most
of all n the hardest thing is to stay
adhering
|
generalshafto7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: brick, nj
Adderal Posted: 11-01-05 04:28am
Ok this is now bout adderal b4 it was my
story how I broke my drug addiction so u
all would no it is possible... Ok this is
my out look on adderal I think no 1 should
take it even if prscribed cuz wat it does
is change who u really r the pill would b
controlling u... As I said I dont have
add or adhd but I use to do so much
adderal u would never believe it...
I would go on benges for months at a time
just get free adderal all the time form a
friend who had many bottles of it cuz he
never took them n just saved them for a
long ass time. Well every day for like 3
months I would snort at least 10 10mg
adderal( the blue ones that say 10 on
them) all at once n the high would last me
the whole day. I would have the most
amazing body high(off of 100 mgs) I would
feel so good n I would get really
sensative like I would appreciate
everything n everyone n at that point I
could get cracked in the face n do nuttin
about it I would just blow it off n b a
pacifist. Nothing could ruin my high cuz
no matter wat I was in a good mood.
But 100 mgs was the lowest I did at least
2 days a week I would get 30 10 mgs n I
would do them all in 1 rail n then I would
get an even better boyd high like 100x
better n I would trip a little but some
times I also got paranoid as hell of caca
that made no sense like 1 time I was just
rocking in the center of my room on the
hard floor cuz I thought the tree by my
window was like the tree form the
polterguest n it was gonna break in my
window n kill me.
I loved to do all the adderal I got
addicted as hell I went on mutliple benges
I would do it for 3 months every day then
once in a while like roughly once a week n
then I would go on benges again. It was
fun but as I think of it now I think it is
quite pathetic of me. But I loved it so
much 1 day I intentinally missed the
school bus n waited for this kid to go to
his skool at 7 he gets picked up my skool
got picked up at 6:45 well he lived 2
minutes aways so when he left I knew his
mom goes out to meeting on thursday at
9:00 am so I waited for her to leave n I
knew he kept his mom's window slightly
open so we could steal her perks. Well so
I got there approximatly 9:15 go in the
house steal a almost full bottle of
adderal wit 32 10 mgs of adderal I snorted
all of them well agve 5 to a friend my
best friend the 1 I said I kept in ym last
post n we took a cab to school while I am
sitting there tripping n high off 270 mgs
of adderal. It was fun but that just an
example of how addcited I was there is
many more stories trust me but where I am
trying to get at I to was very addicted to
adderal everyday I would fiend for adderal
n when I crushed them up n snorted them
all I would go o where I snorted them n
look for like 1 hr for n e little itty
bitty piece I may have missed. Si ya that
how bad I was but I got off of it pretty
easily as I said u just need to want to.
N u guys no how hard it is to stop doing
adderal cuz of how addicting it is. So
guys just stop doing it it is simple has
that get a hobby or sumtin.
I hope u find the strength with in u to
quit cuz u will end up killing urself on
an overdose or just cuz u went crazy cuz
of the adderal or u could just really
medical answer up ur life. For me as I
said I did more then just the adderal as u
would read in ym last post I did
everything. N my life was getting really
medical answer up I went to a
rehab/psychiatric hospital n my parents n
my whole family no longer trusted me, all
tho I never stole from my family cuz that
is scummy as hell but they thought I did,
I almost went to military skool n would
lost my g/f who I no been wit for 1 yr 2
months. Would lost her for ever. I
medical answer up skool big time I am 17 n
am still a freshman (but I getting ged n
going to college for marine biology) I
grew so far a part from my family it suked
n yet the still dont trust me which hey
should but I can see where they r coming
from but still I never stole form
them...
Well to all of u I hope my stories help u
realize the caca u getting urslef into n I
hope u give it all up b4 u kill urself or
medical answer up ur life or end up in
jail..
I hope all of u find the strength to
overcome this obstacle b/c as humans we
ahve the strength to overcome
everything... Good luck all
|
generalshafto7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 3 Location: brick, nj
Adderal Ruining Life Posted: 11-01-05 04:45am
I feel really bad for u nothingfits n
paris, n janell n every 1 else. Trust me
I feel ur pain I been there 2. Adderal
just corrupts u n changes u in way u would
never believe. I feel so bad cuz I no how
it feels considering I been in the same
boat. It sux I no I didnt get sepressed
tho, but I got the anxiety it happened
when I started thinking bout everything
that was going on around me which there
was a lot everythgn in my life seemed to b
falling a part like I just wanted to die..
Wait I guess I was depressed lol idk how
it feels to b depressed but I guess how I
felt must have been depression. I think
it happens cuz adderal makes u over think
n maked u snappy n makes u grow apart
from every 1 cuz all u seem to care about
is getting ur adderal while u taking ur
adderal wat running through ur mind b4 u
even take it how can I get more. I no it
sux. I have faithe in all of u tho n I
believe u can overcome this horrid
obstacle in life.
Ok 1 thing I just like to say I hate ppl
who say drugs make u stupid ect... Cuz it
doesnt I sry I just thought bout that cuz
I was thinking bout old times telling u
guys bout some things well ppl b like ur
stupid u r a drugattic thinking ur not
smart cuz u do drugs .. medical answer
that caca I mean I guess it can but it
doesnt mean all attics r stupid that is
just so stereotypical damn ppl... I still
smart as hell all tho dont take em
spelling all the words rong I am just
short handing it u no so I i get typing
fast a spossible I just want to put the
word out there so u no wat I am
saying...
Again best of luck guys I b praying 4 u
to all c the light n get better...
Dont mean this in a religious way
|
The Light
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Nov 2005 Posts: 6 Location: Hawaii
Adderal Addiction Posted: 11-02-05 16:18pm
I have had some experience with adderal.
I went to my doctor for a prescription
last year. And it was great for a few
weeks. Then it controlled me. I could
not function without it, and was depressed
if I did not take it. I felt myself
changing into a short tempered jerk,
yelling at people I loved, fearing life as
I know it. I stopped taking it after 2
months and was depressed and confused for
over a month. I can honestly say of all
the drugs I have taken, it is the quickest
to take over. If you are taking it, get
off and get on an anti-depressant for
awhile. It is not easy, but adderal is
nobody's friend.
|
DivineIntervention
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jun 2005 Posts: 30 Location: Remote cave in Iraq
Posted: 11-06-05 04:09am
Drug addicts are percieved to be stupid
because they fall into well known traps.
Anytime someone repeats a well known
mistake they are to be labeled 'stupid'.
Really has nothing to do with intelligence
its the lack of common sense and
judgement. All the characteristics of a
young adult. :d
|
sueper21
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2005 Posts: 1 Location: Upstate NY
Adderall Addiction? Posted: 11-15-05 13:23pm
I agree with divineintervention:
adderall is not a cure for anything it is
prescribed for. It is a temporary fix
much like taking tylenol for a headache..
It wont prevent future headaches. When
adderall is prescribed I believe it is
kinda meant to be taken forever. Is
addiction the same thing as routinely
taking a drug forever I have no ideal lol.
Looks pretty damn similiar. Addicts are
said not to be able to stop. If you have
a add would you be able to just stop and
be fine?
I have been on adderall since I was like 6
years old and right now I am 21 years old.
I have been on ritalen, dexidrine,
adderall, and now on adderall xr. I dont
know if I was taken off or stopped
adderall if I would be able to concentrate
in class without it. I am so used to
taking it I dont know if I would be an
effective person without it. Yes I have
overdosed by one or two pills then my
normal dose but I felt like I was nto
concentration enough so I took another
pill. I dont know if that is right to do
and I dont know if it really helps
|
43yearoldmom
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 3
Adderall Story Posted: 07-25-06 13:29pm
Hello,
i know this topic hasn't been active for a
while, but I searched for adderall and
depression and found this. I hope
someone is still out there reading this.
My story is so similar to the ones here.
I went to my doctor about 1 year ago
because I desperately wanted to lose
weight. He suggested I take adderall.
He said he'd had some success with some
other patients. So I took him up on it
and it was great for the first couple of
months. I actually am taking amphetimine
salts (a generic) I lost about 15 pounds.
But after that, my appetite really wasn't
suppressed anymore. I guess I built up
an resistance to it. However, what I did
find is that I loved how I felt when I
took it. I began looking forward to
taking the pill around noon each day. 20
mg. It gave me energy and I felt like I
could accomplish anything. I felt happy
all the time. Loved talking to people
all that I could. It was just wonderful.
But then I noticed how moody I was when I
wasn't taking it. I really wanted my
prescription to last a long time, so I
would stop taking it for a couple of days
and only take one when I felt like I
needed it. Like when I had a lot to do
that day or would be out and about with
other people. I noticed that people were
saying to me "you don't seem like yourself
lately". "are you going through 'the
change!' -- which i'm not, etc. I guess
I was more snippy and truly spoke my mind
more when I wasn't on the medicine.
Over the past couple of months, I think
i've developed mild depression. I always
felt like I was very balanced in that
department -- never got really stressed,
felt sad, lethargic about life, etc, but
now I can see it. I feel sad about
everything. Issues with my daughter (who
is 14 and has adhd - she takes strattera),
financial worries, marriage issues, older
children in college, parent issues, my
weight problem, etc. I just feel
hopeless about everything. So I was
thinking about going to the doctor and
telling him about my depression and asking
for an anti-depressant and totally
dropping the adderall. Do you think this
will help me? I still love the way I
feel when I take the adderall.... But
it's not helping me to lose weight, that's
for sure. I just like the way I feel so
up and enthused about things. Also, why
do you think it quit working in helping me
to lose weight?
Thanks for any insight anyone can give me.
|
swimmerdude22
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 Oct 2006 Posts: 1 Location: College Park
Adderall Concerns Posted: 10-20-06 17:36pm
I know that this forum has not been active
for a while. I was just recently
prescribed adderall and I have been
reading as much as possible about the
drug, its side effects, and other
pertinent information. One thing that I
keep reading over and over is the apparent
abuse problem that many people have
experienced while on adderall. First off,
my heart goes out to all of you on
adderall who are abusing it. I have taken
adderall before to study and now that I am
prescribed adderall I want to make sure
that I do not become addicted. I along
with most of the other people who have
posted here have experienced the 'high'
that you get from taking adderall. My
doctor told me that I would have a spike
and a euphoric effect for the first hour
or two but that it tends to subside. My
question to everyone is this....What is
the best way to regulate my use of
adderall. I would not consider myself to
be an addictive type of person but I know
that I do like the way it makes me feel.
The fact that I get an enhanced sense of
well being put up red flags in my mind.
Although I enjoy this feeling I want to
make positive that I do not slip into a
mode of abusing adderall. Does anyone
have any suggestions for me about what is
the best way to monitor myself while
taking this drug. I am a 22 year old male
and I weigh about 148 pounds. I already
have an issue with eating on a regular
basis and I do fret over my weight but
this is not the reason why I am on this
drug. My little brother was diagnosed
with adhd at age 7 and I was diagnosed
recently. I have extreme trouble sitting
still and have many impulsive behaviors.
I feel as though this drug might be a good
choice but I can def. See how people say
to steer away from it. If anyone has any
suggestions for me I would appreciate it.
I want to make sure that if I am going to
use this drug that I use it correctly and
don't develop some of these problems
people have talked of. To be quite frank,
these posts have really scared me. I
think I am a strong willed person but do
not want to fall victim to adderall and
its effects. My doctor did not really
give me a set dosage to take. She told me
that I could skip days if I did not feel
that I needed to take (the weekends mainly
and days where I am less busy with school)
which I have decided that I will do. I
have a very high metabolism (5 10 and
about 147) and thus I feel my body
metabloizes this drug faster than some
people. If I start to come down from the
drug what would you suggest that I do and
what would be a maximum amount that you
would suggest to take in any given day
keeping in mind I am 147 about and 5 10.
Any advice would truly be appreciated.
Thanks people and good luck to everyone!!
|
psu454
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 07 Dec 2006 Posts: 1
Posted: 12-07-06 20:29pm
First of all there is no way of preventing
addiction-i tried that no pills on
weekends-only effect is I felt like caca I
could do it but I didnt want to-and I also
went a whole month over the summer without
it which my tollerence did drop but I dont
think it cuases addiction- you can stop
when ever you want, you just wont have
that energy and concentration that you
learn to love/hate
ive been taking addy for 2 years now 30mg
a day, theres good but with it brings so
much bad..Some side effects can be
controlled through hard work but overall
you have to take the bad with the
good..Bad-first coupel months you cant
sleep it sucks laying in your bed tossing
all night even though its supposed to ware
off by late afternoon..Your apittatie goes
crazy especially when you first start, but
I still can go a whole day on almost no
food and trust me being a guy it sucks
when I have to force myself to eat so I
can gain weight and hopefully not lose
muscel..And then usually at 9 o clock at
night I go crazy for food..You sweat
more..You have more energy which is good,
but with it you think harder, longer and
cant let things go, so thats why I think
it cuases deppression, I know it took away
my personality of being a goof all the
time to now being a loner...Once im done
with college im done with the caca though,
and I cant wait to not have to worry aobut
it..Overall if u need it take it, but if u
can avoid it then do it, im to focused on
getting good grades to stop right now
becuase it is a merical drug I just wish
it had a switch I could turn off when I
wasnt learning..(the smarter you are the
more likely you are to being depressed- I
learned that in psychology-and I know
before adderal I was never depressed)
ps other side effects that are possible is
hair loss-which I have experienced thining
hair either from adderal or aging not
balding though
ed is a side effect-happened once to me
when I took triple my dose so im guessing
the smaller does does effect it a little
at least
headaches-and ireggular(rapid)
heartbeat-again could be just me or
adderall
|
itsrusty
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2007 Posts: 1 Location: Jacksonville
Yes It Does Posted: 02-17-07 07:58am
I have found if I take to much, it will
case depression for a couple of days. I
should take 10 mg but there have been
times in the past I would take as much as
30mg in a 12 hour time frame. I just told
myself it was the adderall and it would go
away.
<---- how I
feel right now.
