i'm not in a cheery mood today. My
husband is bipolar and has hypersexuality.
I hope that's what its called. Lol.
Anywho, he is constantly on me about
having sex and i'm extremely frustrated.
Its like he doesn't care if i'm so sore
that I just can't do it or if i'm not,
that i'm just not in the mood. We've
talked about all sorts of ways to help
calm him down. He's told me that I could
say "no" nicely. Caress his ear or just
cuddle. To be quite honest, I just got up
about an hour ago, he took our kids to
school, came home and was at me about sex.
I told him no and he said "f* you."
we got into a huge fight over this two
days ago, talked about it, he regretted
being so pushy and all and now all the
sudden, it's happened again. I do love
him and I am willing to work on this with
him but when this happens, I just feel so
lost, confused, and like he just doesn't
care about how i'm feeling.
His doc gave him clonidine to help control
it a year ago and it worked for about a
week. Since then, nothing has changed.
The clonidine doesn't work and I don't
think there are other meds that might help
him.
|
drexl
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 37 Location: canada
Posted: 12-10-04 03:17am
I've got this disorder good luck!
|
boogaloo
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Dec 2004 Posts: 33 Location: kitchener
Posted: 12-13-04 23:43pm
Hello--i have bi-polar (i'm female) and
when I get like that (fortunately my
husband "always" wants sex also and he
isn't bi-polar-just a sex p_g)(i think
guys more than women tend to want sex more
frequently) but what I do to help calm me
down is I go jogging, work out, clean,
basically put my "energy" into something
productive instead of fighting.I would
also think that his meds. Need to be
checked, maybe the dose needs to be
increased when he is like that--basically
having a manic episode (which is the time
we have our hypersexuality feelings)i take
seroqual anywhere up to 300mg. And
believe me--noway will he want sex after
taking this med. You do become tolerant
of these types of medications, and you
can't drive or do difficult important
cognitive thinking, that is why I only
take it when I become hypermanic (as
oppose too hypomanic)(and there is a big
difference between them). You need to let
him know (at a time he's not asking for
sex) that he needs to have is meds.
Reviewed/changed. Tell him how much it
hurts you, and how far away from him it
makes you feel. It must be very
difficult --your situation. I would also
suggest a support group in your area.
Maybe here in this forum you've found
one--i hope you have. Good luck
i'm not in a cheery mood today. My
husband is bipolar and has hypersexuality.
I hope that's what its called. Lol.
Anywho, he is constantly on me about
having sex and i'm extremely frustrated.
Its like he doesn't care if i'm so sore
that I just can't do it or if i'm not,
that i'm just not in the mood. We've
talked about all sorts of ways to help
calm him down. He's told me that I could
say "no" nicely. Caress his ear or just
cuddle. To be quite honest, I just got
up about an hour ago, he took our kids to
school, came home and was at me about sex.
I told him no and he said "f* you."
we got into a huge fight over this two
days ago, talked about it, he regretted
being so pushy and all and now all the
sudden, it's happened again. I do love
him and I am willing to work on this with
him but when this happens, I just feel so
lost, confused, and like he just doesn't
care about how i'm feeling.
His doc gave him clonidine to help control
it a year ago and it worked for about a
week. Since then, nothing has changed.
The clonidine doesn't work and I don't
think there are other meds that might help
him.
the hypersexual thing is part of a manic
episode... He could just spiral over the
top , really he should be on seroquel to
keep him grounded.. At least it worked
for me ,
ps the hypersexual thing really is not
that great for him because he can never
get enough sex in that manic state .. At
least I couldnt... (my hubby loved
it)... But for me the dellusions and
paranoia come with the hypersexual state
so it is not great
he should talk to his pdoc about meds if
he is like that
i'm not in a cheery mood today. My
husband is bipolar and has hypersexuality.
I hope that's what its called. Lol.
Anywho, he is constantly on me about
having sex and i'm extremely frustrated.
Its like he doesn't care if i'm so sore
that I just can't do it or if i'm not,
that i'm just not in the mood. We've
talked about all sorts of ways to help
calm him down. He's told me that I
could say "no" nicely. Caress his ear
or just cuddle. To be quite honest, I
just got up about an hour ago, he took our
kids to school, came home and was at me
about sex. I told him no and he said
"f* you."
we got into a huge fight over this two
days ago, talked about it, he regretted
being so pushy and all and now all the
sudden, it's happened again. I do love
him and I am willing to work on this with
him but when this happens, I just feel so
lost, confused, and like he just doesn't
care about how i'm feeling.
His doc gave him clonidine to help control
it a year ago and it worked for about a
week. Since then, nothing has changed.
The clonidine doesn't work and I don't
think there are other meds that might help
him.
the hypersexual thing is part of a manic
episode... He could just spiral over the
top , really he should be on seroquel to
keep him grounded.. At least it worked
for me ,
ps the hypersexual thing really is not
that great for him because he can never
get enough sex in that manic state .. At
least I couldnt... (my hubby loved
it)... But for me the dellusions and
paranoia come with the hypersexual state
so it is not great
he should talk to his pdoc about meds if
he is like that
ditto I also agree. Being hyersexual is
a sign of mania. That one way you can
tell if i'm going in to mania or not.
|
scyzner
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 3
Hypersexuality Posted: 10-14-07 14:33pm
I'm bipolar and been going through some
hypersexuality for several weeks now. I
was just walking around the trail and it
seemed impossible to get sexual thoughts
out of my mind. Of course there are many
beautiful young women in running outfits
so it is easy to focus on the sexual
thoughts. I focused on my steps and needed
to count them aloud (quietly) to fill my
mind with the walking and numbers.
I am single and there are ways to have sex
with people nowadays that are quite easy -
through the internet. But I am not
promiscuous and have not done anything
like that, even without the internet,
except when drunk. And I have been sober
for a long time. What I end up doing is
relieving the feeling I'm having and I
will take about .25mg of clonazepam to
bring me down a bit. I had thought I
needed to take more of my clonazepam as I
have not being taking it as much recently.
So I think in the case of your husband -
caligurl - if he did take the drug he
would be "calmer," and perhaps you could
encourage him to get relief but within the
confines of your marriage. I hope that
helps.
So, that's my little report.
|
scyzner
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 3
Re: Hypersexuality - Response to Caligurl Posted: 10-14-07 16:59pm
[quote="scyzner"]I'm bipolar and been
going through some hypersexuality for
several weeks now. I was just walking
around the trail and it seemed impossible
to get sexual thoughts out of my mind. Of
course there are many beautiful young
women in running outfits so it is easy to
focus on the sexual thoughts. I focused on
my steps and needed to count them aloud
(quietly) to fill my mind with the walking
and numbers.
I am single and there are ways to have sex
with people nowadays that are quite easy -
through the internet. But I am not
promiscuous and have not done anything
like that, even without the internet,
except when drunk. And I have been sober
for a long time. What I end up doing is
relieving the feeling I'm having and I
will take about .25mg of clonazepam to
bring me down a bit. I had thought I
needed to take more of my clonazepam as I
have not being taking it as much recently.
So I think in the case of your husband -
caligurl - if he did take the drug he
would be "calmer," but it sounds like his
dosage isn't quite right and maybe it's
not the right drug, and also perhaps his
mood stabilizers are out of whack.
Occasionally they stop working as well - a
second opinion might be a good thing. And
perhaps you could encourage him to get
relief but within the confines of your
marriage and without your participation if
you don't feel like it. I hope that helps.
|
daffodil67
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 54 Location: , midsouth, usa (think presidential pair)
Posted: 11-02-07 07:57am
Yeah, I agree...mania/hypomania that is
not being adequately controlled. You did
not say what meds he is on ( i mean the
full list.) But if he is not on at least
a mood stabilizer adn an atypical
antipsychotic (someone mentioned
Seroquel--GREAT drug), he probably should
be. AND sometimes teh Dr will increase
one or the other when this type of thing
happens. HAVE HIM CAL HIS DR!!!
lol..Because this is obviously putting
stress on your relationship, and when he
comes down, he will probably be better
able to see that and agree that it's a
good idea to head these episodes off at
the pass.
In a crunch, though, there may be some
non-intercourse options you can try that
will make him happy and you not so
unhappy.
Good luck
|
scyzner
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 14 Oct 2007 Posts: 3
Hypersexuality - Bipolar Posted: 11-02-07 09:25am
Even though Seroquel may work for one as
you know a particular med doesn't work for
each person. I hate the anti-psychotics -
I feel like people on Thorazine once
looked and never take them. So I would not
say "he should be on ______________ " but
rather he should see his shrink.
Steven
|
daffodil67
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Nov 2007 Posts: 54 Location: , midsouth, usa (think presidential pair)
Posted: 11-02-07 10:49am
LOL...I was simply talking about the sort
of normal convention at this point of
using the atypicals to help stabilize
mood. It helps many people. Of course not
everyone will end up on the same
regimen...I do hope, however, that you
would agreee that his hypomania is NOt
under control, and he should consult his
Dr to see if they can achieve BETTER
control somewhow when these episodes hit
so as to reduce the stress on the
realtionship.
Take care
|
karabearva
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2007 Posts: 9 Location: New Hampshire, New England-USA
Hypersexuality And Bipolar Disorder Posted: 12-28-07 12:35pm
In my humble opinion, this is not an issue
about bipolar nor hypersexuality. This is
about a man who, when he doesn't get what
he wants, resorts to abusive behavior. My
guess is that it is not limited to the
sexual arena, but is a destructive
behavior that has bled into all areas of
this relationship. You both need
counseling, him specifically to learn how
better to express his needs and
frustrations. I wouldn't want to have sex
with anyone who is abusive. Trust your
feelings.
kara
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