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Q: My Husband Wants Another One!
asked by: mommyof2many on December 9th, 2004
New User
Okay i'm not looking for anyone to tell me what to do. I just need to talk to other women. My name is caitlyn i'm 27 and i've been married for 10 years and we have 8 children ages 13, 11, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2 and 3 months and he wants another one. I mean I love my children and I think I do want another child but I mean I just had one 3 months ago. I feel like i'm doing nothing but making and having babies all the time. I mean if you look at the ages of my children and how old I am this is all i've really known since I was 15. And to have him come at me with this new baby thing I feel like i'm gonig to go out of my mind. I guess all i'm looking for is just some female companionship, since i'm surrounded by children all the time. And I heared that the women in the forum are very helpful and not judgemental which is what I think I need right now to keep my sanity lol. Hope to get to know you all.
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justacanadiangirl
replied on December 9th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Hi caitlyn Smile my name is vienna Smile i'm 18.

First of all, let me just say, wow, 8 kids... That's a lot. Lol my mom's mom had 7 kids in 14 years I believe (that's not counting numerous miscarriages)... And she said if she could have, she would have had more. So congrats to u! Smile I know i'm younger than u, but hey, i'm always here to chat if u need someone Smile hopefully i'll speak to u soon Smile bye for now.
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mommyof2many
replied on December 9th, 2004
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Hey vienna. Smile everyone thinks i'm crazy for having so many kids at such a young age but I know how you're grandma felt about wanting more. Even though I dont want one right away again like my husband does, but I do want more. I love the feeling of being pregnant and even though child birth is painful (which I bring on myself cause I refuse to have an epi) its all worth it. So do you have any children?
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justacanadiangirl
replied on December 9th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
I don't have any kids yet, but it's possible that I could be pregnant, I just haven't found out yet. And if I am, I would be about 10 weeks or so.
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l2at24
replied on December 9th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Re: My Husband Wants Another One!
mommyof2many wrote:
okay i'm not looking for anyone to tell me what to do. I just need to talk to other women. My name is caitlyn i'm 27 and i've been married for 10 years and we have 8 children ages 13, 11, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2 and 3 months and he wants another one. I mean I love my children and I think I do want another child but I mean I just had one 3 months ago. I feel like i'm doing nothing but making and having babies all the time. I mean if you look at the ages of my children and how old I am this is all i've really known since I was 15. And to have him come at me with this new baby thing I feel like i'm gonig to go out of my mind. I guess all i'm looking for is just some female companionship, since i'm surrounded by children all the time. And I heared that the women in the forum are very helpful and not judgemental which is what I think I need right now to keep my sanity lol. Hope to get to know you all.


hi caitlyn! I'm lana. 24, 2 dds ages 9 mos and 29 mos, married 6 years. I felt the exact same way. (i know this is no where near what you're going through, but similar). I have worked with children my entire life. Babysitting at age 10...Then I nannied 3 boys for 6 years until I had my babies. I've worked at a few day care centers, but other than that I haven't been around any adults. It didn't bother me until I had my own. I was suffering from a little ppd, and decided I had to do something now. So, I joined mops, I just had my first meeting yesterday. I also am part of another playgroup since september. And I found this site!!!!!!! It is so awesome and you will love it here. I'm sure you've been reading around and seen some of tazzy girl's posts. She will be 28 tommorow, and she is pregnant with #6. She's really great to talk to. Welcome here. My husband wants more too. Boys Laughing ....I don't know what I want. None now, I still have about 10 years to have babies. Maybe one day.
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Tazzy D
replied on December 9th, 2004
Advanced Support Team
Hello mommyof2many,
my name is tanya im 27 I will be 28 tomorrow the 10th yeah.. Anyways I have 5 children all ready and im currently preg. With my 6th child due may 23. I feel you. My oldest will be 9 tomorrow as well. Then a 7yr old, a 5yr old, a 3 1/2 yr old and a 16mon old. It seems like we never have a life of our own and yes hun we are always surrounded by our children which always seems like you never have any help as well. I give it to you I dont know how you do it. Just when I thought I had it bad.. Anyways it is up to you and your body wether or not you want to have another one. I wish men could have children I bet you they wouldnt bare more than one lol. Men always seem to think of thereselves they never think well is she okay what can I do to help, does she need sleep. Man should I wake up and feed the baby, man the kids are all screaming and fighting and man I just want to run away. That is how I feel sometimes. Feel free to let me know if this is you. All I can say is we are here to talk if you need ud. Or you can pm us as well. Good luck with whatever you decide.
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bd1012
replied on December 9th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
All I have to say is that if you don't want any more.. Put your foot down.. He isn't the one who has to go through pregnancy. Btw hun, I totally know how you feel about men. I agree with you, most men have it easy, they just donate the sperm and then go to work and bring home the money while you stay at home with the kids doing all the housework.. Until they stay at home and raise the kids while you bring home the bacon and they are able to gestate, they have 0 say over whether or not a woman gets pregnant and has a kid.
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mommyof2many
replied on December 9th, 2004
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I commend you tanya for what you're doing, actually I commend all of you girls on here who are mothers or who want to be mothers. I think its the hardest job in the world. Of course my husband would disgree. And I do agree with what bd1012 said too, I think it is the women's choice whether or not to have more children since its her body that has to go through so much, and if I said no then i'm sure after a little while he would let go of the idea. The thing is with steve (my husband) he was an only child and his parents had him very late in life, his mom was past 40 and his dad was almost pushing 60, so he never really had much of a childhood. His dad died when he was 12 and his mom just this passed year so in his way of thinking he wants to have as many children as he possibily can while hes young enough to do things with them. And I can understand where hes coming from, its just sometimes its too much. I'm not complaining here, ok maybe a little bit Rolling Eyes , but hes at work all day comes home eats and then basically falls asleep while i'm left running after all these kids until they go to bed and then theres still the cleaning and everything by the time I get to bed its usually 12/1:00. So theres really no time for us any more, i'm actually amazed we find time to have sex lol, and yet he wants to add another one to the mix. And I just feel like i'm going to die of complete exhaustion. My daughter helps out whenever she can but I mean shes 13 she should be having fun with friends not helping play a maternal role. I guess the biggest thing I miss is working. Anyway, thats my rant for the day and sorry to carry on so much.
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Newmommy23
replied on December 9th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
If you need to vent or rant this is place to do it!!
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mommyof2many
replied on December 9th, 2004
New User
Thanks stephanie. Btw I saw your belly pics. I think pregnant women are absolutely beautiful. When I was 16 wks along I always looked like 24 wks, i'm always so huge I think i'm going to have an elephant most of the time, but lucky for me I always end up having small ones. I hope you enjoy motherhood as much as I had and since you said you were going to be a single mother I think thats just as hard as having 8 kids. I could never do it on my own I think all single mothers are very brave and strong.
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bd1012
replied on December 9th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
No offense momof2many, but I think it's time your husband needs to help out more.. Its not right for you to do all the work for something that he wants.. If he wants these kids, he needs to help out more.. If it were me, I wouldn't give him any more sex.. I'd say "sorry dear,, I can't anymore.. I'm too tired from chasing after and cleaning up after all these kids you wanted me to have, I just don't know if i'll ever have time for you anymore"... Maybe that will get the message across and he'll either help out more or drop his baby fever or even do both!
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Newmommy23
replied on December 9th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
Thanx mommyof2many! I could never raise 8 lol so I commend you!
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mommyof2many
replied on December 9th, 2004
New User
I know I make it sound like he doesn't do anything around the house. He does help whenever he can its just that his job his hell most of the time. I mean hes an er doctor, and I know that it sounds like i'm making excuses for him. But you're something does have to happen i'm going to talk to him tonight about it all, but it wasn't just him that wanted these children it was me too. I've always wanted a big family.. But I think i've reached my limit in more ways then one.
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Tazzy D
replied on December 9th, 2004
Advanced Support Team
Sometimes it always seems like that. They do help just not enough. I understand that they are tired to but we work 24/7 and we dont get paid for it. Maybe for 2005 we can be blessed with more energy, patience, and time for ourselves
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mommyof2many
replied on December 9th, 2004
New User
Don't I wish tazzy, especially the energy part. But I would also add to the list understanding from our husbands. Steve is happy with how things are, and don't get me wrong I don't regret having my children like i've said before I just wish I had done things differently. I used to be a dancer and I loved every minute of it but after I had my second child and got married I knew that what ever dreams I had about it were done. So maybe I do have some regrets.. I suppose everyone does.
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l2at24
replied on December 10th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
mommyof2many wrote:
don't I wish tazzy, especially the energy part. But I would also add to the list understanding from our husbands. Steve is happy with how things are, and don't get me wrong I don't regret having my children like i've said before I just wish I had done things differently. I used to be a dancer and I loved every minute of it but after I had my second child and got married I knew that what ever dreams I had about it were done. So maybe I do have some regrets.. I suppose everyone does.


i'm glad you said that. I always say I wish I would have done things differently. I have never heard anyone else say it. They always say, but then I wouldn't have little suzy or little bobby. And I think to myself yes you would, just under better circumstances. Okay, now I have to do the thankful part of my post, because I always get nervous when I talk about this. If something happened to one of them I would live with the guilt because of the - be careful what you wish for thing. I think about the people who aren't able to have children. I am blessed that i'm can, and a bad day with my babies is better than any day would be if I wasn't able to have children at all.
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Tazzy D
replied on December 10th, 2004
Advanced Support Team
I'm glad you said that. I always say I wish I would have done things differently. I have never heard anyone else say it. They always say, but then I wouldn't have little suzy or little bobby. And I think to myself yes you would, just under better circumstances. Okay, now I have to do the thankful part of my post, because I always get nervous when I talk about this. If something happened to one of them I would live with the guilt because of the - be careful what you wish for thing. I think about the people who aren't able to have children. I am blessed that i'm can, and a bad day with my babies is better than any day would be if I wasn't able to have children at all.[/quote]


i second that. We all wish the woulda coulda hadda, but we made our beds now we have to lay in them. Im thankful god has blessed me with 5 beautiful children and I wouldnt change that for the world.
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sandyallen
replied on December 10th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Mommyof2many
Gosh, give your body a break, they are draining you now, you will not be 27y/o forever, if in doubt, don't! Kind of reminds me of the show "eight is enough." but if you really want to, go for it!
The best to you!
Sincerely,
sandy
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jenn_smithson
replied on December 11th, 2004
Active User, very eHealthy
If I were you, I would tell him that we could have another child when he gestates it. But that's just me. I refuse to have any more than 2 and at the times that I plan for them. Again, that's just me.
Peace,
jenn
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jessamyn
replied on December 11th, 2004
Extremely eHealthy
Omg babe slow down! Give yourself a break! What the hell does he do for a living is what I wanna know... How do you handle it all?
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