My Husband Wants Another One! Posted: 12-09-04 00:48am
Okay i'm not looking for anyone to tell me
what to do. I just need to talk to other
women. My name is caitlyn i'm 27 and i've
been married for 10 years and we have 8
children ages 13, 11, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2 and 3
months and he wants another one. I mean I
love my children and I think I do want
another child but I mean I just had one 3
months ago. I feel like i'm doing nothing
but making and having babies all the time.
I mean if you look at the ages of my
children and how old I am this is all i've
really known since I was 15. And to have
him come at me with this new baby thing I
feel like i'm gonig to go out of my mind.
I guess all i'm looking for is just some
female companionship, since i'm surrounded
by children all the time. And I heared
that the women in the forum are very
helpful and not judgemental which is what
I think I need right now to keep my sanity
lol. Hope to get to know you all.
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 1803
Posted: 12-09-04 01:37am
Hi caitlyn my name is vienna
i'm 18.
First of all, let me just say, wow, 8
kids... That's a lot. Lol my mom's mom
had 7 kids in 14 years I believe (that's
not counting numerous miscarriages)...
And she said if she could have, she would
have had more. So congrats to u! I know i'm younger
than u, but hey, i'm always here to chat
if u need someone hopefully i'll
speak to u soon bye for now.
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mommyof2many
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 23
Posted: 12-09-04 03:45am
Hey vienna. everyone thinks
i'm crazy for having so many kids at such
a young age but I know how you're grandma
felt about wanting more. Even though I
dont want one right away again like my
husband does, but I do want more. I love
the feeling of being pregnant and even
though child birth is painful (which I
bring on myself cause I refuse to have an
epi) its all worth it. So do you have any
children?
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justacanadiangirl
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 1803
Posted: 12-09-04 04:02am
I don't have any kids yet, but it's
possible that I could be pregnant, I just
haven't found out yet. And if I am, I
would be about 10 weeks or so.
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Re: My Husband Wants Another One! Posted: 12-09-04 04:13am
mommyof2many
wrote:
okay i'm not looking for
anyone to tell me what to do. I just
need to talk to other women. My name is
caitlyn i'm 27 and i've been married for
10 years and we have 8 children ages 13,
11, 8, 6, 5, 3, 2 and 3 months and he
wants another one. I mean I love my
children and I think I do want another
child but I mean I just had one 3 months
ago. I feel like i'm doing nothing but
making and having babies all the time. I
mean if you look at the ages of my
children and how old I am this is all i've
really known since I was 15. And to have
him come at me with this new baby thing I
feel like i'm gonig to go out of my mind.
I guess all i'm looking for is just some
female companionship, since i'm surrounded
by children all the time. And I heared
that the women in the forum are very
helpful and not judgemental which is what
I think I need right now to keep my sanity
lol. Hope to get to know you
all.
hi caitlyn! I'm lana. 24, 2 dds ages 9
mos and 29 mos, married 6 years. I felt
the exact same way. (i know this is no
where near what you're going through, but
similar). I have worked with children my
entire life. Babysitting at age
10...Then I nannied 3 boys for 6 years
until I had my babies. I've worked at a
few day care centers, but other than that
I haven't been around any adults. It
didn't bother me until I had my own. I
was suffering from a little ppd, and
decided I had to do something now. So, I
joined mops, I just had my first meeting
yesterday. I also am part of another
playgroup since september. And I found
this site!!!!!!! It is so awesome and
you will love it here. I'm sure you've
been reading around and seen some of tazzy
girl's posts. She will be 28 tommorow,
and she is pregnant with #6. She's
really great to talk to. Welcome here.
My husband wants more too. Boys
....I don't know what I want. None now,
I still have about 10 years to have
babies. Maybe one day.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Posted: 12-09-04 09:08am
Hello mommyof2many,
my name is tanya im 27 I will be 28
tomorrow the 10th yeah.. Anyways I have 5
children all ready and im currently preg.
With my 6th child due may 23. I feel you.
My oldest will be 9 tomorrow as well.
Then a 7yr old, a 5yr old, a 3 1/2 yr old
and a 16mon old. It seems like we never
have a life of our own and yes hun we are
always surrounded by our children which
always seems like you never have any help
as well. I give it to you I dont know how
you do it. Just when I thought I had it
bad.. Anyways it is up to you and your
body wether or not you want to have
another one. I wish men could have
children I bet you they wouldnt bare more
than one lol. Men always seem to think of
thereselves they never think well is she
okay what can I do to help, does she need
sleep. Man should I wake up and feed the
baby, man the kids are all screaming and
fighting and man I just want to run away.
That is how I feel sometimes. Feel free
to let me know if this is you. All I can
say is we are here to talk if you need ud.
Or you can pm us as well. Good luck with
whatever you decide.
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bd1012
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 1998
Posted: 12-09-04 13:12pm
All I have to say is that if you don't
want any more.. Put your foot down.. He
isn't the one who has to go through
pregnancy. Btw hun, I totally know how
you feel about men. I agree with you,
most men have it easy, they just donate
the sperm and then go to work and bring
home the money while you stay at home with
the kids doing all the housework.. Until
they stay at home and raise the kids while
you bring home the bacon and they are able
to gestate, they have 0 say over whether
or not a woman gets pregnant and has a
kid.
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mommyof2many
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 23
Posted: 12-09-04 14:40pm
I commend you tanya for what you're doing,
actually I commend all of you girls on
here who are mothers or who want to be
mothers. I think its the hardest job in
the world. Of course my husband would
disgree. And I do agree with what bd1012
said too, I think it is the women's choice
whether or not to have more children since
its her body that has to go through so
much, and if I said no then i'm sure after
a little while he would let go of the
idea. The thing is with steve (my
husband) he was an only child and his
parents had him very late in life, his mom
was past 40 and his dad was almost pushing
60, so he never really had much of a
childhood. His dad died when he was 12
and his mom just this passed year so in
his way of thinking he wants to have as
many children as he possibily can while
hes young enough to do things with them.
And I can understand where hes coming
from, its just sometimes its too much.
I'm not complaining here, ok maybe a
little bit
, but hes at work all day comes home eats
and then basically falls asleep while i'm
left running after all these kids until
they go to bed and then theres still the
cleaning and everything by the time I get
to bed its usually 12/1:00. So theres
really no time for us any more, i'm
actually amazed we find time to have sex
lol, and yet he wants to add another one
to the mix. And I just feel like i'm
going to die of complete exhaustion. My
daughter helps out whenever she can but I
mean shes 13 she should be having fun with
friends not helping play a maternal role.
I guess the biggest thing I miss is
working. Anyway, thats my rant for the
day and sorry to carry on so much.
If you need to vent or rant this is place
to do it!!
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mommyof2many
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 23
Posted: 12-09-04 14:54pm
Thanks stephanie. Btw I saw your belly
pics. I think pregnant women are
absolutely beautiful. When I was 16 wks
along I always looked like 24 wks, i'm
always so huge I think i'm going to have
an elephant most of the time, but lucky
for me I always end up having small ones.
I hope you enjoy motherhood as much as I
had and since you said you were going to
be a single mother I think thats just as
hard as having 8 kids. I could never do
it on my own I think all single mothers
are very brave and strong.
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bd1012
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004 Posts: 1998
Posted: 12-09-04 15:04pm
No offense momof2many, but I think it's
time your husband needs to help out more..
Its not right for you to do all the work
for something that he
wants.. If he wants these kids, he needs
to help out more.. If it were me, I
wouldn't give him any more sex.. I'd say
"sorry dear,, I can't anymore.. I'm too
tired from chasing after and cleaning up
after all these kids you wanted me to
have, I just don't know if i'll ever have
time for you anymore"... Maybe that will
get the message across and he'll either
help out more or drop his baby fever or
even do both!
Thanx mommyof2many! I could never raise 8
lol so I commend you!
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mommyof2many
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 23
Posted: 12-09-04 16:01pm
I know I make it sound like he doesn't do
anything around the house. He does help
whenever he can its just that his job his
hell most of the time. I mean hes an er
doctor, and I know that it sounds like i'm
making excuses for him. But you're
something does have to happen i'm going to
talk to him tonight about it all, but it
wasn't just him that wanted these children
it was me too. I've always wanted a big
family.. But I think i've reached my
limit in more ways then one.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Posted: 12-09-04 16:26pm
Sometimes it always seems like that. They
do help just not enough. I understand
that they are tired to but we work 24/7
and we dont get paid for it. Maybe for
2005 we can be blessed with more energy,
patience, and time for ourselves
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mommyof2many
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Dec 2004 Posts: 23
Posted: 12-09-04 18:16pm
Don't I wish tazzy, especially the energy
part. But I would also add to the list
understanding from our husbands. Steve is
happy with how things are, and don't get
me wrong I don't regret having my children
like i've said before I just wish I had
done things differently. I used to be a
dancer and I loved every minute of it but
after I had my second child and got
married I knew that what ever dreams I had
about it were done. So maybe I do have
some regrets.. I suppose everyone does.
|
l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 12-10-04 07:28am
mommyof2many
wrote:
don't I wish tazzy,
especially the energy part. But I would
also add to the list understanding from
our husbands. Steve is happy with how
things are, and don't get me wrong I don't
regret having my children like i've said
before I just wish I had done things
differently. I used to be a dancer and I
loved every minute of it but after I had
my second child and got married I knew
that what ever dreams I had about it were
done. So maybe I do have some regrets..
I suppose everyone
does.
i'm glad you said that. I always say I
wish I would have done things differently.
I have never heard anyone else say it.
They always say, but then I wouldn't have
little suzy or little bobby. And I think
to myself yes you would, just under better
circumstances. Okay, now I have to do
the thankful part of my post, because I
always get nervous when I talk about this.
If something happened to one of them I
would live with the guilt because of the -
be careful what you wish for thing. I
think about the people who aren't able to
have children. I am blessed that i'm
can, and a bad day with my babies is
better than any day would be if I wasn't
able to have children at all.
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Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Posted: 12-10-04 07:42am
I'm glad you said that. I always say I
wish I would have done things differently.
I have never heard anyone else say it.
They always say, but then I wouldn't
have little suzy or little bobby. And I
think to myself yes you would, just under
better circumstances. Okay, now I have
to do the thankful part of my post,
because I always get nervous when I talk
about this. If something happened to
one of them I would live with the guilt
because of the - be careful what you wish
for thing. I think about the people who
aren't able to have children. I am
blessed that i'm can, and a bad day with
my babies is better than any day would be
if I wasn't able to have children at
all.[/quote]
i second that. We all wish the woulda
coulda hadda, but we made our beds now we
have to lay in them. Im thankful god has
blessed me with 5 beautiful children and I
wouldnt change that for the world.
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Mommyof2many Posted: 12-10-04 23:51pm
Gosh, give your body a break, they are
draining you now, you will not be 27y/o
forever, if in doubt, don't! Kind of
reminds me of the show "eight is enough."
but if you really want to, go for it!
The best to you!
Sincerely,
sandy
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jenn_smithson
Active User, Really EHEALTHy
Joined: 15 Nov 2004 Posts: 808 Location: Texas
Posted: 12-11-04 20:37pm
If I were you, I would tell him that we
could have another child when he gestates
it. But that's just me. I refuse to
have any more than 2 and at the times that
I plan for them. Again, that's just
me.
Peace,
jenn
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jessamyn
Moderator
Joined: 18 Aug 2004 Posts: 4107 Location: San Diego, CA
Thanks: 11
Thanked:3
Posted: 12-11-04 20:41pm
Omg babe slow down! Give yourself a
break! What the hell does he do for a
living is what I wanna know... How do you
handle it all?
my name is vienna
....I don't know what I want. None now,
I still have about 10 years to have
babies. Maybe one day.
, but hes at work all day comes home eats
and then basically falls asleep while i'm
left running after all these kids until
they go to bed and then theres still the
cleaning and everything by the time I get
to bed its usually 12/1:00. So theres
really no time for us any more, i'm
actually amazed we find time to have sex
lol, and yet he wants to add another one
to the mix. And I just feel like i'm
going to die of complete exhaustion. My
daughter helps out whenever she can but I
mean shes 13 she should be having fun with
friends not helping play a maternal role.
I guess the biggest thing I miss is
working. Anyway, thats my rant for the
day and sorry to carry on so much.
