i wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer
xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer frend,
billy
dear billy,
nice spelling. You're on your way to a
career in lawn care. How about I send you
a freaking book so you can learn to read
and write? I'm giving your older brother
the space ranger. At least he can spell!
Santa
dear santa, I have been a good girl all
year, and the only thing I ask for is
peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, sarah
dear sarah,
your parents smoked pot when they had you,
didn't they?
Santa
dear santa, I don't know if you can do
this, but for christmas, i'd like for my
mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do. Love, teddy
dear teddy,
look, your dad's banging the babysitter
like a screen door in a hurricane. Do
you think he's gonna give that up to come
back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass
constantly? It's time to give up that
dream. Let me get you some nice lego's
instead.
Santa
dear santa, I left milk and cookies for
you under the tree, and I left carrots for
your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, susan
dear susan,
milk gives me the runs, and carrots make
the deer fart in my face when riding in
the sleigh.
You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
bottle of scotch.
Santa
dear santa, what do you do the other 364
days of the year? Are you busy making
toys? Your friend, thomas
dear thomas,
all the toys are made in china. I have a
condo in vegas, where I spend most of my
time making low-budget porno films. I
unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the butts of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at the craps table.
Hey! You wanted to know.
Santa
dear santa, do you see us when we're
sleeping, do you really know when we're
awake, like in the song? Love, jessica
dear jessica,
are you really that gullible? Good luck
in what ever you do. I'm skipping your
house.
Santa
dear santa, I really, really, really want
a puppy this year. Please, please,
please, please please, please, could I
have one? Timmy
timmy,
that whiney begging crap may work with
your folks, but it doesn't work with me.
You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
dearest santa, we don't have a chimney in
our house, how do you get into our home?
Love, marky
mark,
<first, stop calling yourself "marky",
that's why you're getting your ass whipped
at school. Second, you don't live in a
house, you live in a low-rent apartment
complex.
Third, I get inside your pad just like all
the burglars do, through your bedroom
window.
Sweet dreams,
santa
|
Tazzy D
Advanced Support Team
Joined: 30 Oct 2004 Posts: 3718 Location: , va
Here's One More Posted: 12-10-04 09:31am
A christmas story
>
>
> a city cop was on his horse waiting
to cross the street when a little girl
on her new shiny bike stopped beside
him.
>
> "nice bike," the cop said "did santa
bring it to you?"
>
> "yep," the little girl said, "he sure
did!"
>
> the cop looked the bike over and
handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety
violation. The cop said, "next year tell
santa to put a reflector light on
the back of it."
>
> the young girl looked up at the cop
and said, nice horse you got there
sir, did santa bring it to you?"
>
> "yes, he sure did," chuckled the
cop.
>
> the little girl looked up at the cop
and said, "next year tell santa the
dick goes underneath the horse, not on
top."
>
>
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l2at24
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 06 Nov 2004 Posts: 1509
Posted: 12-10-04 09:35am
|
lil_blaze2004
Supporter
Joined: 29 Oct 2004 Posts: 6492 Location: ,
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 12-10-04 09:56am
|
SamiNSunisMa
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Nov 2004 Posts: 1528
Posted: 12-10-04 10:52am
Dick
|
Kia
Supporter
Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 6594 Location: Planet Tampaxia,
