Relationship Based On Lies Posted: 12-14-04 13:19pm
I've never posted on this board before but
I really need some advice/comfort.....
I dated this guy for 8 months, and last
week I told him I wanted to take a break,
for many reasons, one of which is I feel
like we're too serious, and i'm in
college, I want to have fun...He tried to
convince me not to take a break and he got
kind of upset that I suggested it.
And then, this morning, I found out a few
things accidently:
- he slept with his ex like 2 days before
we started dating. And he never told me
about it.....Before when I asked him about
what happened that night he said nothing
and that he just passed out.
- a few times when i've been out of town,
he's been drinking and he's told his ex to
come over to hook up. He even told her
shes hot and just as pretty as me.
I don't know what to do, I haven't talked
to him today since i've found out about
this stuff, and i'm not sure what I want
to say. We aren't really on a break,
we're sort of still together (for
now)..But being around him has felt so
weird and just not right lately. He says
he loves me and would never hurt me, etc,
but I feel like our relationship has been
based on lies. I dont know what to do,
please someone give me some advice!
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Roxy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2004 Posts: 25 Location: Il
Posted: 12-28-04 01:05am
Hello iltb:
I can go on for hrs.With advice for
you.1st,do not attempt to go back with
him.Simply put: he lied!!!!! I can almost
understand if he kept it from you but you
had outright asked him.If you proceed in
the relationship with this "man",you will
be asking him alot of questions down the
road in which he will lie. I have been
with my mate for 3 yrs.Now and I still
find certain things out that he denies and
I know they are lies. I know you must
feel weird being around him just as I feel
weird being around my mate because of the
lies.I look at him in a different way
now.It is a lonely feeling.I don't feel as
happy around him like I use to. I really
don't know how someone can say,"i love
you," but then lie.Love&lie??? I
say,have safe fun,stay in college,keep
busy and "don't give your all to one
person." have a nice day.Take care :)
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ilovethebeach
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Posts: 48
Posted: 12-30-04 16:24pm
Thanks! Yeah i'm just not as happy as I
used to be, I don't know. We'll see how
things work out! Thanks for the advice!
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Jiltedheart
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 May 2005 Posts: 11
Posted: 05-19-05 06:27am
If you wanted a break anyway then just let
it go. You don't want to get to serious
let the guys know in the beginning so
there is ever a misunderstanding. Make it
clear you need your space. If he cheated
then drop him. From my experience and
what I have seen in my friendships through
life is this. Once a person cheats it can
never be the same. If given the chance it
will happen again too. That doesn't mean
the other is looking to cheat but if the
oppurtunity come up they will take it
without thinking. This is from a male
perspective.
