Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Posts: 1 Location: Houston, Texas
Bi-polar And Relationships Posted: 12-15-04 04:09am
Hello everyone. I am new here and
desperately need help right now.
I'm 20 years old and was born hiv+, was
orphaned by aids by the age of ten, and
was just recently dianosed with bipolar
disorder. I've been having a really hard
time for the last few months and just a
few days ago my whole world caved in.
My boyfriend and I were together for 2
years and I love him deeply. Well, one
night I was doing really bad and was very
suicidal. I was on the phone talking
with him trying to feel better and he just
didn't understand. I was in such a bad
state of mind that I broke up with him.
Really stupid I know.
Well, I wised up of course and tried to
call him for two days and he wouldn't
return my calls. Finally he called me
and said that he couldn't do this anymore.
That he couldn't handle a relationship.
I know it's because i'm so hard to deal
with. Hell, I hate myself a lot of the
time, I can't expect him to want to be
there.
But anyway, I have been devestated ever
since. I've cut myself multiple times
and I can't stop crying. I understand
and respect what he wants because I just
want him to be happy, but I know I ruined
things and I just can't handle it. I
don't know how to deal with these
emotions. I just want us to be back
together and for me to get healthy.
I know if he'd give me a chance I can get
better and we can do wonderfully together.
I just had my first therapy session last
thursday and i'm really trying to get my
life together. Not just because I need
to do it for my own sanity, but because I
love him and I want to be with him and
happy.
I just wish he'd give me a chance to get
better. I feel like if he's stayed with
me through these last two years (which
have been the hardest of my life) I don't
understand why he'd leave now when i'm
trying to get better...
Anyway, my questions are, how do I deal
with the heartbreak? And how do I fix
this relationship? I know I can't force
him into anything, but I just want him to
believe that I can get through this and
learn to live with this disorder.
Any advice is extremely appreciated.
Thank you.
|
nygiantschick7
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 09 Jan 2005 Posts: 1
Reply Posted: 02-24-05 16:26pm
Hey I know exactly how your feeling. I
have a question for you? Were you
diagnosed by a psychiatrist and put on
medication? Because before I started
taking zoloft I was sad all the time. I
mean I would cry for no reason then like 5
minutes later I would be happy again.
It's really wierd, but once they put me on
medicine I started getting better and now
that never happens. I am just happy all
the time! You should ask your doctor
about it because it might help you alot.
Also, I had trouble in relationships too
before I was on medication, even before I
was properly diagnosed. My boyfriend
broke up with me because I got upset too
easily and I cried too much and iwanted
him to be there for me. And he wasnt so
it made things alot worse. It took me
along time to get over it but I am now and
i'm happier than ever. Maybe you should
try to talk to him and tell him whats
going on and whats wrong with you. If he
really cares he will listen and he will
understand. And if he doesnt then he's
just not worth it! Well I hope I helped
you a little and let me know how things go
ok? :d I hope you feel better
~*brooklyn*~ :lol:
|
lahernandez
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Posts: 4 Location: mexico
Good Life For All Posted: 02-24-05 22:12pm
Hey roxie, i've read your letter and I
wouldn't like to be in your shoes...
However, I think you should think in what
are you doing here, I mean, what do you
live for?, do you want to be happy?... I
know it's hard, but believe me, you have
to find into yourself that answers 'cause
you can take all the medication of the
world but if you don't answer that, you're
lost.
Love yourself (yeah, I know, I should hear
my words) and find that you're the most
important thing in this world, take care
of you.
