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Spirit

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006
Posts: 387
Location: Canada

Posted: 05-13-06 05:49am

firedsoul wrote:
with this kind of attitude no you wont :) , its ridiculus that girls go for money , looks and cars. Only the shallow ones do , who aren,t worth that much anyway. But hey keep believing that every single girl in the world is the same and shallow and i,m pretty sure that if the actual right girl who looked beyond you r looks and money would be scared away with your line of attitude. There is someyone for anyone enough poor people or ugly people or whatever that have a lover , but they didn,t get them by thinking negative!

Believe it or not there is a girl out there for you , its about loving eachother not cars or money ffs. The way you think would just scare me away in a instance , your even saying you take a rich girl over a poor girl? Even if this poor girl has a much greater heart? Is nicer and actually good for you for example? Then I say your a fool and if you really would choose looks and money over actually personality and love then your not that much different, and also life isn,t about looking at fine asses everyday i,m sorry to break to you but its really your attitude thats either making it longer for you to meet somebody or has passed away the chance of already having a relationship.


true....How very true! Agree with everything except the "looking at fine asses"........Nothing wrong with admiring the opposite sex....Besides I ain't blind!

I'd love to hear how these guys actually approach women....Step by step....Let's see where the real problem is! :)
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supersonicguy

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2005
Posts: 16
Location: NY
the Truth
Posted: 05-14-06 20:13pm

If you are frustrated as I am because your not getting women you have a right to be. Women will choose certain men that they believe are “the one”. Your either a guy who women want or a guy who women don’t want. These guys who are in relationships with attractive women did not make the first move. The women made the first move. Women setup scenario’s that hook the guy into their lives. For example, women will say to a guy that they desire: “there is a marathon run this weekend why don’t you join me”. I personally was never invited to anything by any girl. Looks, money and cars may not be so important but height is. If you notice a majority of guys who are in relationships with attractive women are tall. Height is extremely important. Im guessing the taller you are the more powerful you appear to women. When I say tall, I mean anywhere between 5,11” to 6,4”. 5’9” is not tall. Guys who are very successful with women just have the right combination. Im not sure what that combination is but they’ve got it. They have qualities that cause women to target on them. These type of guys aren’t just targeted by one woman, they are targeted by many. Having the right attitude, personality, love, waiting for the right one is all stuff in movies. In reality your either the right type of guy or not.
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firedsoul

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005
Posts: 10
Location: Netherlands

Posted: 05-15-06 07:53am

Wow what a load of caca , you know wanna know the real truth? With a attitude like that your only making it hard on your self and you know what none of it is true. Ive seen plenty of girls who are like 6 ft 0 with a guy thats not even 5 ft 9. I dont have a girlfriend either yet i,m taller then all my friend s and they all have girlfriends. If height is so damm important then I would have had a girl by now because i,m 6 ft 3. I also have a friend who is 6 ft 7 and hes 20 and never had a girlfriend either. I,m sure to the shallow girls like I said before height is important but I caca you not a lot of girls think short guys are cute its a matter of taste. I know a girl who doesn,t want a guy taller then 5 ft 8 because she,s pretty short herself (5 ft 4). Hell you are ganna find the right one but its ganna take time. And no its not stuff in movies , but on the other hand keep thinking negative like that and yea you might end up alone its called the law of nature. How about putting up a positive attitude and throw away this caca thinking of yours , its no wonder some of you dont have girlfriends if you either only fancy shallow girls who only go for looks , money or cars , and if the right one would come you probably wouldn,t even see it because of your negative thinking . Sjeez I wonder why your still single :roll: . Honostly why do you give a rats ass if a shallow girls that only looks at either your height , money , or car , doesn,t want you? Love is not about that at all!! And like I said before if you wanna think every girl is shallow and cant look past your height then go ahead , your dead wrong. I think its more a case of the fact that either your only attracted to shallow pretty girls , or your negative thinking that your still not in a relationship. And if its not then il say have some patience. But I think for the most part its the way you think. For example the right girl who come in your parth and already then your thinking she looks at my height blablabla your not even giving the girl a chance!!! Cmon people :roll:
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supersonicguy

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2005
Posts: 16
Location: NY
Girls Dont Come Down My Path
Posted: 05-16-06 09:03am

Fired soul - its no wonder some of you dont have girlfriends if you either only fancy shallow girls who only go for looks , money or cars , and if the right one would come you probably wouldn,t even see it because of your negative thinking.

I have to agree with you on this part firedsoul. I have found myself only going for shallow pretty girls. However, girls havent come my way for a good while so I dont see how I will ever meet the right one.
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Jonezer

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Mountlake Terrace
the Intelligence And No-sex Correlation
Posted: 05-20-06 05:54am

Hey guys (and girls), i'm 36 and haven't had a relationship with a woman since high school! Yes i'm good looking and funny and everything but I too have completely given up trying to have a sexual relationship. I'm just missing some crucial trait.

The truth is i'm cursed because I am intelligent, but not in an analytical way.

Let me ask all you lonely people a question. Do you ponder the meaning of life? Do you find yourself reading about science or spirtual literature and find it fascinating? No matter how good-looking you are the fact is your a "nerd". Women do not find people with such personalities to be sexually attactive.

Ok now we go deeper (and wierder) if you are ready.

I believe we are all at a certain level spiritually on this planet and those of us in this category are beginning to break out of this physical reality. Those of us who are not at this level tend to have no problem getting a girlfriend as they are more animalistic in nature and women subconciously pick up on that.

My advice is to forget about sexual relationships. Delve into spirituality and follow your bliss despite all who will oppose you for being strange and different. Who knows maybe you will meet someone - but then again there's always good smut to get you off when the urge hits you.
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sh5nton

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 17 Nov 2005
Posts: 42
Location: western australia
Re: the Intelligence And No-sex Correlation
Posted: 05-20-06 06:08am

jonezer wrote:
no matter how good-looking you are the fact is your a "nerd".

.



my boyfriend is a nerd, sci-fi reading, philosophical, game playing, anime watching nerd. It's what he is interested in but it doesn't mean it's what completely makes him. Truth is, he's kind, would never hurt me and is loyal. I feel secure with him.

Theres no rhyme or reason why some people choose eachother, it's just who works, feels right. Sure being conventionally 'goodlooking' may get you initial attention over others but personality and compatibility is the keeper. Love really is blind.
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Jonezer

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Mountlake Terrace

Posted: 05-20-06 12:41pm

Sh5nton,

yes i'm not saying it can't happen. Maybe I just need to find the right person - I suppose putting out an effort would help. It's just that no matter how hard I try I always get left holding the bag and getting dissed. I seem to notice that guys who always have girlfriends or get laid alot are a little on the dumb side and i'm not alone in that observation.

As soon as a girl that is interested in me finds out that I am a nice (boring?) guy or ponder deep thoughts they lose interest it seems, or else I say or do something awkward to blow it. I'm good looking enough to have had some sexual contacts but nothing I would even remotely consider a relationship.

Love is blind I agree - if you find it cherish it, as it is tough to find.
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firedsoul

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005
Posts: 10
Location: Netherlands

Posted: 05-20-06 12:54pm

jonezer wrote:
sh5nton,

yes i'm not saying it can't happen. Maybe I just need to find the right person - I suppose putting out an effort would help. It's just that no matter how hard I try I always get left holding the bag and getting dissed. I seem to notice that guys who always have girlfriends or get laid alot are a little on the dumb side and i'm not alone in that observation.


As soon as a girl that is interested in me finds out that I am a nice (boring?) guy or ponder deep thoughts they lose interest it seems, or else I say or do something awkward to blow it. I'm good looking enough to have had some sexual contacts but nothing I would even remotely consider a relationship.


Love is blind I agree - if you find it cherish it, as it is tough to find.




actually you are right , but you know why its harder to find someyone when your on the spirtual side. Because not many people in the world are. You are most "dumber" guys do get laid more or more relationships. Dont be jelous though. As these girls are special for them mabye but for us it just wouldn,t fit right. You will meet your woman and trust me she will be very special. That kind of woman you are finding is just rare , so it will take a little longer but be patient. As for sex its not that important in life but I get your point. I guess porn helps for me.
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supersonicguy

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 05 Dec 2005
Posts: 16
Location: NY
What Exactly Is a Nerd?
Posted: 05-21-06 17:06pm

What exactly is a nerd?
Im intelligent when I want to be. Other times I just do care.
I never read any scientific or spiritual literature, however im a fan of some science fiction and anime shows. Im like a big kid!

Im lost on the spirituality part. I mean, women have called me wierd throughout my life. I even get the evil eye from many women from time to time. Im guessing they are mad because they are attracted to me but I must be sending off the wrong body language or something. My physical appearance attracts women but thats about as far as it goes everytime I get into a conversation with women. Its like im driving in a porsche but I cant seem to get the car to accelerate.

I think the problem I have with women is im a loner. I find that when im with women I always have to analyse everything I do and say. Im sort of a perfectionist when it comes to women. I just feel like im being judged every moment when im with women. Bars and nightclubs really put me on edge. I dont know how most guys can act calm when they are out on a date or going to bars and night clubs. I feel alot of pressure.

I think another reason why we cant get girlfriends is because we are too laid back. Risk and change just isnt our cup of tea. Thats probably a trait of a nerd. Beware of risk and change.

Jonezer what do you mean by delve into spirituallity?
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vhan

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 08 Jun 2006
Posts: 2

Posted: 06-08-06 08:54am

Be an open minded person.. Try out new things like get togethers, parties, soirees, and even cyber dating at webdatedotcom.. Relax, feel at ease when meeting women and dont forget to get good ideas from ur guy friends and work it out! 8)
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TFLoser

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Canada
What's Wrong With Me??
Posted: 08-01-06 18:19pm

I've got to be one of the biggest losers around. Fine, i'm healthy, I have a great job, a mortage on a house, a car. But...


Like some of the posters before me, i've never had a girlfriend. I never kissed until I was 25 for crying out loud. I'm 26 now. Will I lose my virginity this year? More importantly, will I ever have a fun, youthful relationship? Why should I miss out on the best part of life?


People left and right are getting it. Young, old, ugly, gorgeous, rich, poor... I can just taste it. Sometimes, I think I almost understand it. And yes, it's got to be worth it. Anyone who says differently must be doing it with the wrong person.


I've had acne since as long as I can remember. I was shy at a young age and the acne has been crushing me ever since. A few months ago, I finally found a way to control the acne and i've been exercising with some positive results for the last few months. I'm not terribly overweight but i'm certainly not comfortable with myself.


The real problem I see is this, I have almost no friends. How can I have a normal relationship when I have no life? One of the replies said go to parties. What if no one ever invites me to any because I know so few people?


So i've taken care of the acne, I can exercise and maybe workout when I find the ambition. How on earth do I get a life? What reasonable girl is going to fall for a total loser no matter how nice, stable and honest I am? Things that ordinary people take for granted are almost a foreign concept to me. What should I do?
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firedsoul

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 03 Aug 2005
Posts: 10
Location: Netherlands
Re: What's Wrong With Me??
Posted: 08-02-06 06:35am

tfloser wrote:
i've got to be one of the biggest losers around. Fine, i'm healthy, I have a great job, a mortage on a house, a car. But...





Like some of the posters before me, i've never had a girlfriend. I never kissed until I was 25 for crying out loud. I'm 26 now. Will I lose my virginity this year? More importantly, will I ever have a fun, youthful relationship? Why should I miss out on the best part of life?





People left and right are getting it. Young, old, ugly, gorgeous, rich, poor... I can just taste it. Sometimes, I think I almost understand it. And yes, it's got to be worth it. Anyone who says differently must be doing it with the wrong person.





I've had acne since as long as I can remember. I was shy at a young age and the acne has been crushing me ever since. A few months ago, I finally found a way to control the acne and i've been exercising with some positive results for the last few months. I'm not terribly overweight but i'm certainly not comfortable with myself.





The real problem I see is this, I have almost no friends. How can I have a normal relationship when I have no life? One of the replies said go to parties. What if no one ever invites me to any because I know so few people?





So i've taken care of the acne, I can exercise and maybe workout when I find the ambition. How on earth do I get a life? What reasonable girl is going to fall for a total loser no matter how nice, stable and honest I am? Things that ordinary people take for granted are almost a foreign concept to me. What should I do?


its your self image. You think your a total loser. And believe it or not girls can see that in a man. You should feel better about yourself first. Then your ready for a relationship. You say you dont have friends... Well go out and get friends dude. I know its not simple but u can always use the internet for something like that. Find people with the same interest. Join a gym talk to people. Its all in your head dude. If you feel so bad about yourself its time to go and do something to make your self feel good. Your not the only one btw. I,m on the same road. But tell me why are you so desperate? It sounds to me like when you actually get a relationship you would be all dependent on this person when you would break off your life would be ruined.. Well thats not a good thing is it. So get comfortable with yourself first. For me right now i,m just looking for friends giong out now and then and starting to feel better who I am. I dont need a medical answer girl to make me feel better about myself. Dude a relationship is nice if you already feel good about yourself and want a relationship with the girl cause you actually like her. Not when your all desperate and hook up with the first girl you meet and hope you can medical answer her someday. Thats not how it works pal. Its time to start working on yourself first. Your not ganna meet miss right when you feel like your a total loser and are desprate as hell. Just like I wouldn,t want a girl either that feels she,s a total loser and is so desprate she would hook up with the first hot guy that would want her. Look at it that way... Would you like a woman like that? If you do your pathetic. I,m just trying to help you mate. Feel good about yourself and who you are first. Get some freakin friends. Do what you always wanted to do. And then you"ll get a relationship! And in the meen time dont beat yourself up so much about it. Ffs this life is about you this whole story about your other half is bullcrap. The right one for you is a girl that makes you feel good and which you can learn from. But as of right now your no where near ready for that and you know it. Its also not healthy being al dependent on a relationship . God if you really thinks thats what life is all about your wrong. First thing you gotto do is feel better about yourself. Read this entire topic: http://for um.Bodybuilding.Com/showthread.Php?T=14198 9
that way you understand the way things actually work. And that is how they work period. Your not ready for meeting the one as you are right now accept it. Read the topic for the link I just gave and start living to it. That way you will feel a lot better about yourself and prolly have some relationships and onenightstands. After that your ready for your so called "one'. Thats how it works.
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Flexx

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Jul 2005
Posts: 18

Posted: 08-02-06 16:45pm

Somehow my post got deleted. I think someone's trying to keep my positive message to people off the forums.
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TFLoser

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 2
Location: Canada
Reply to Firesoul
Posted: 08-05-06 08:34am

I know it's a self confidence problem. Everyone knows you have to like yourself before anyone can like you. My problem is kind of circular. I feel like caca because I have no life. Since I have no life, I just feel shittier.

Where am I going to find the way out this hole? My best bet is to make more friends and build from there. As for the net, forget it. No offense but unless I meet someone face to face, they essentially don't exist. You can't exactly tell stories about or go for a beer with someone you 'met on the internet'

i'll be honest, I don't know how I would react if I found myself in a relationship. The only thing I can be certain of is that every relationship is completely different. If I break it off, i'd probably feel fine. If we both knew it was a waste of time, that break-up would be different too. Let me have a few before you make that conclusion.

I may not be fully 'ready' for a relationship but I can't live my life that way. I've put off approaching girls forever. As long as I make some move and learn from it, i'll evolve. As for the forum from meat sauce, all that he says is fine. One of the better articles i've seen actually. The reality is however, I still need to have a semblance of a life and the life experiences to draw upon in order to make the game work.
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Protector

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 27 Aug 2006
Posts: 1
Location: Athens,Greece

Posted: 08-27-06 17:26pm

Greetings ! I really like most of the posts in this thread and i’d like to tell my opinion (even though I cannot fully express my thoughts in english j ).
Well , I was born in 1984 and I ‘ve never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. I’m a lonely person. I have very few friends. The last time I spoke with someone in my age was in the middle of july ! I try very hard to find friends but people don’t seem to want a real sentimental relationship with me.
All of us suffer from depression in some minor , middle or major degree. This is only natural when you miss a so important part of life. The essence of youth.
This melancholy and the lack of self-confidence (also very difficult to avoid) create something like a magic barrier that hides whatever good , interesting or attractive personality or physical characteristic we might have.
I feel very angry also because this problem is somewhat “invisible”. You have to hide it because if you say “i’m desperate , I can’t find a girlfriend” you don’t even stand 0,000001% chance to get a girlfriend. And when you can’t express your feelings , your thoughts about a situation , it only gets worse.
Life is short and unpredictable. You just can’t miss the joy of erotic/sexual activities ! After all , it is also a matter of instinct !
I feel so disappointed , angry and lonely that I cannot concentrate. My university studies don’t go well due to this problem. How will I be able to work having those bad thoughts ? The last thing that I think of before sleep and my first thought when I wake up is “i don’t have a girlfriend , I haven’t kissed a girl”. It sucks.
Some weeks ago , I took the big decision. I went to a prostitute. It is quite common here in greece. You go there -let’s say every two weeks or once a week- and you are not always that desperate. You can think of other things as well besides you can’t find a girlfriend ! You can relax a bit. You gain your dignity because you don’t have to speak to silly or ugly girls due to desperation and beg that they give you a little attention. It is also good for your confidence (which seems to be the highest virtue a man can have…)
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diamondsz

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Posted: 08-27-06 21:53pm

Once a woman has gone through her teen/shallow years then comes the breakdown to a realy relationship although I will admit some woman are still shallow. I'm 22 but still dress like im 17 at work, parties, I act myself, I think the biggest part to a woman being attracted is to a man who knows his place and is confident.



A relationship is based on two things friendship and sex (love almost doesnt exist to me I think before a couple commits to each comes that lovey-dovey part lol! Without the friendshil (communication, loyalty, commitment) and sex (desire, passion, release) a relationship cannot exist. Some woman/men are too doing it jealous/tie us down and that angers me off I like my freedom in return I dont care what mine does.



You need to understand woman want a man who is confident(comes off as strong who is able to provide a shoulder not cocky(attitude) has to be somewhat attracted to that man and well yeah the sex has to be good. Sex is a normal part of any relationship!



That height thing is complete bs my man is shorter than me and I dont care as long as he can meet my physical and emotional needs and vice versa!!



Yes woman can be hard to live with were almost unstable especially around our rags why not give us abit of space, I hate when mine wakes me up after working a 12 hr shift and just says I want to sleep in today f*ck you (not towards anyone)

buddy you need to feel good about yourself, meaning build your self-confidence/esteem having a friend to vent too and maybe taking a kick boxing course will work.



Sorry for rambling im exhausted and just writing of the top of my head, hopefully you get a gf soon!
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elm594225

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 7
Location: london uk
24 And Never Had a Girlfriend
Posted: 09-04-06 10:48am

Well, guys I am in same situation, I am 24 almost 25, no girl ever liked me in school, I was bullied in school, guys beat me up so bad, girls used to call me I am ugly freak and a losser, well it didnt matter much at that time, cause I was young and fit, I moved school, but still no luck, my friends had gf but not me, girls wont even talk to me, like I was an alien, but then I started to realise I am ugly and losser, cause all the other fat guys short guys bald guys dirty guys and even old guys got really pretty and fit girls but not me, and now I am always sad depressed and get so jealous when I see other ugly and dirty guys with pretty girls I want to kill my self, I just hate my self I am so losser biggest looser in the whole of the world.
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Spirit

Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 12 Mar 2006
Posts: 387
Location: Canada

Posted: 09-05-06 10:33am

.B.S. .......................Would you guys stop it please.................It's not true and you know it..........................Granted, it's a dog eat dog world, but believe me there's a lot of lonely people out there just waiting to connect................So for heavens sake...........Don't give up! :)
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just_me_the_user

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 24 Oct 2006
Posts: 1

Posted: 10-24-06 18:04pm

Hmm... It's my first post here, never imagined there were so many guys with this prob. I'm 18, a bit overweight but I try to not make a complex out of it, I was like this since I was born, tried to loose it couldn't and figured that's me and I should leave it that way. I've been rejected a coupel of times, I hated it so I lost hope pretty much... Hope someone will come along soon, it really sux to be alone like this Sad anyway, good luck to you all!
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brad22482

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Joined: 04 Dec 2006
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Location: Missippi
Posted This Many Times, Just Trying to Spread the Word
Posted: 12-04-06 20:02pm

I will admit I am too lazy to read all comments posted. But I am trying to help people who fit into the category of I never been kissed, dated, had girlfriend, etc...

I found sites like these about guys not having girlfriend or have been kissed. It was good support but didnt help. Being 24, I was at the end of my ropes, went into a major depression, and became an alcoholic.

So I was looking up antidepressants and read about zoloft being an antidepressant and also used for social anxiety disorder. I thought sad was disorder for hermits and people you see on tv who never left their house. Its not !!!!!

I took an online self report called the social phobia interest inventory (spin). I highly recommend you take it at
edit
found out that I have it, and learned that I was not the only one with it. Matter of fact alot of people are going through the exact same symptoms as you and me.

Social anxiety disorder (aka social phobia) is treatable with counseling and the use of medications.
My friends and I have noticed a difference, I even asked a girl for her number and went out on a date. This has never happened before, plus I am more social too.

Check out this site for more information on social anxiety disorder:
edit

checkout this forum, to read more about people like you and me:
edit

and please even if you dont have it, spread the word about social anxiety disorder to others who havent been on a date, kissed a girl, and are suffering. It is the 3rd most common psychological disorder, affects 10% of the population and sadly it is also one the least diagnosed. It took at least 8 years of my life, made it that much harder to succeed and in the end nearly cost me my life too.


Best of luck
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