Broken Hearted Forum - Never Had a Girlfriend


Never Had a Girlfriend

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Zadnerist

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Joined: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 14

Posted: 01-15-07 20:06pm


I found this tread as I googled through the many topic's online. I'd like to say I found this very intresting because it's mainly like my story. Wayy back in the olden days (2002-04) I felt like somebody I had a friends that I would hang out with often, they have all kissed girls by the end of 2004. I havn't even kissed anyone, and most girls back then didn't like me, I wasn't with the soical status quo. In 8th grade that is 2004, I ment this most wonderful girl that I feel in love (well had a crush on) but nothing ever materialized, ever chance I ever had I blew it off out of fear of something, I tied my hands behind my back when it came to dealing with her. I did manage to slow dance with her once on july 13th ( yes I remeber important dates to me) the most depressing was at freshman year dance at my school I had the chance to go after her then but again I just sat out on the blechers. She played heavy on my mind, at the time of 2005 I tried again, only this time over the internet. The whole thing was a failed plot to start off, I had the desperate diease. At the same time she had gotten a bf, I didn't tell her until novmeber 13-14, how I actually felt about her. After that I remeber one of my friends telling me that she was like "cry talking" to him about me, because he was best friends with her, and I managed this all over the internet. I called her once but I didn't talk I just heard say hello and quickly hung up because I became suddenly overwhelmed by a great force of anixety. This lead to a long bout of depression because I felt like i've blown it and it was all over then, by the month of febury I had deleted any form of online contact with her, and now she is nothing but a memroy to me, at time I do look at her myspace profile well picture since it's private now, and I see her with her bf and it does in a way get to me, makes me angry in a way. That was closest ever, offically recorded. To give a little backround into myself, i"m 16 right now a junior in high, a all male high school, I rarely go out on weekends most of my time is here at home playing with this computer, playing guitar, working out, watching tv, or chatting with people online. I don't bother with social life i'm too lazy too. I guess i'm a hermit? But I have no trouble talking to people looking them in the eye. Some weekends I get to hand out with my jam band, which is comprised with people similar but not similar too me but that's once maybe every 2 months and if i'm lucky. I hear the statement you have the rest of the life in front of you don't worry about it, well what if I don't worry about it now, 10 years later beging to worry about it again and realized why did I have to ignore myself then. It's only gonna make the problem worser. What i"m trying to acheieve is too see if I could get some orignal comments for once,you know most I get you should do this and that. I'm just trying to see what you have to offer. My primary goal is to find a way out of this emotionless way of life, stop being lazy. I rather try dealing with it now, rather than later on in life when i've already spent 5 years of my life that could of made the difference, worrying about what tommorrow never brings. I hope you can make sense of this all, because I don't have time to write a draft up or prrofread.

munchy

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Joined: 28 Jan 2007
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Location: scotland

Posted: 01-28-07 16:41pm


Googled this page im 26, never had a relationship (got laid a few times) and going to work every day and all the other annoyances of life just isnt worth it without someone to come home to. Like others here im addicted to working out and have become total ocd with my appearance. And like others, people always ask "why dont I have a girlfriend/am I gay/oh youre just happy being alone" and it boggles my mind... I think im missing a spark inside me that even the scabbiest lowlife criminal has which can make a girl attracted to him when im at work I play with an idea, just buy a plane ticket to some hot country and become a bum there, just walk about and eat out of bins... Because working so hard, going through all the irritating crap of life just so I can have 4 hours a day to half-enjoy myself playing guitar/books/weightlifting/computer is a pretty bad deal.. I am terrified that my life is going to go on like this no matter what how hard I try.. I make myself talk to girls everytime I go out clubbing but it just never goes anywhere

RedDelight

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Joined: 06 Oct 2006
Posts: 131
Location: I'm a Yettie!

Re: Never Had a Girlfriend Posted: 01-30-07 15:20pm


Hi phreaknite- i don't think you won't ever have a girlfriend! Don't think that you will- you just haven't found the right spot to look yet! Try joining a gym.. Or a part-time job. Does any of your friends have anyone they know? Hook you up?! I agree with most here- you aren't missing out on much! I understand where you are coming from- I was a figure skater for 13 years..That was my life- and had no time for anything else- towards the end it was insane with late night early morning practices and waiteressing. Whew! Not only that... But be cautious. Of course- when I started into the dating world- I was excited- in my early 20s- to only have heartbreak. I wasn't thinking with my head, rather my heart. I dated.. But only had one real serious relationship for 3 years of hell. Not to much- only bouncing right from that one- into another bad relationship shortly after- which I am still recovering from now don't rush it.. It will happen when you least expect it- join a club, I would look around campus....Since that is where you are most of the time. I am sure you will find someone good luck! -=red=-

Pretender

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Joined: 01 Feb 2007
Posts: 4

Posted: 02-02-07 07:22am


I'm in the same boat as many of the others here... 21 and never had a gf, but I think I could get one if I tried harder.. Rejection causes me not to try again/harder.. It's not like you find someone just like that, but it's annoying if you're alone all the time.. Hurts the self-esteem too (see my thread lol)

san54

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Joined: 28 Dec 2003
Posts: 227
Location: Virginia

Girlfriend Posted: 02-02-07 08:07am


Don't fret, you are young yet. My son, just turned 28. He never went on dates with any girls. If there was a function at school, he would hang out with a bunch of guys and girls. He even went to his prom stag. He now has a girlfriend and they have been dating for almost a year. Your time will come. You will find someone that is right for you, don't settle for just anyone. It takes time to cultivate a good relationship. Good luck.

jezxter

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Joined: 15 Mar 2007
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Location: UK

Posted: 03-15-07 15:49pm


After reading some of the problems people are having with this issue I feel compelled to add something. Just my view. Firstly, for those of you who are up to 20 years old and not had a girlfriend or intimate relationship as yet don't let it get you down, as this is pretty normal. During this time you need to learn who and what you are, your career, learning to drive, forming professional relationships etc. But if this duration moves on into say 24+ then there is a problem if this bothers you - if you have been attempting to get a girlfriend. Be realistic on why? From personal experience everybody thinks there better looking than they really are, I'm average nothing more or less but realistic. The bottom line is the majority of guys who find it difficult aren't that attractive. In respect of women, a not so good looking girl will easily pull a man from a night club but not vice versa. The odds are stacked up against you being male bottom line. A lot of girls will be your friend = No chance as your not attractive enough. From experience out with my mates we all have the same chat, but the looks always progress you in respect of any other trait. Other factors like money, cars and education are minor - as for cars ask yourself would you date the fit bird that drives a mini or a fat minger in a Mercedes? Cars mean nothing, and money to the majority of girls is not essential but finding the person attractive is. Remember though that girls tastes vary so everybody has a chance - In theory anyway. If your over 25 and not had a girlfriend (and want one) then yes you have a problem, don't believe the crap someone will come along - you know the truth and your chances reduce the older you get. It seems that some people will end up going through life unhappy that they cannot find a mate. Dealing with it. For those that have tried, failed and been bothered by not finding someone then after reading peoples experiences I feel that I would act and feel as they have. Changes in confidence and personality are very serious complications, but taking the fact that you cannot get a girl no matter what you try will affect anyone. The way to live your life may have to be different than other people as your special. You're special because you have to deal with a problem that is right outside your door, on TV and discussed by family, friends and work colleagues. The basis of life is to reproduce if you want to. For those who aren't bothered then this matters not, but for those that are what else is there? Real World. Look at the problem realistically. No point saying, "everybody tells me I'm attractive" = crap. Bottom line if your attractive you'll get interest from girls, if your average or ugly your going to have to work for it and it may not even be possible as girls are picky. Worst case. You never get a girlfriend! It's possible that a lot of people will never meet the one or anyone. If this does happen then ask your self this - Could I have tried anymore? The main point is not to destroy yourself from the inside with the problem. You only really in life have yourself anyway. After years not having anyone you have dealt with something serious, and are still here to tell the tail. In fact you have to be tough to deal with this. If you can live at the bottom and survive and hold it together then more power to you. Don't dwell on something you cannot change, you may have to accept it for now and move on. Focus. The only chance of getting though life is to have focus. Get other aims and projects to take your time up. Dreaming about what you cannot get at this point in time is pointless. Don't take anymore crap. Become great at something, go to the gym, learn to ride sport bikes, go back to school and get a PhD. Why waste time trying to get something out of reach at present - Get focus and see where it takes you - its your best chance. Take the negative aspects of your life and turn them into something, there's no guarantee your get a girl or meet the one but hey you did your best and that all anyone can do. For me the best course is to take life one day at a time, get through today and start again tomorrow. Good luck.

tmckenzie

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Joined: 20 May 2007
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Need Advice Posted: 05-20-07 11:35am


I've got the same problem as everybody else here. 26 and never had a legitimate girlfriend. I've kissed a few girls at college parties, never anyting serious. Never had sex and I've never done anything more serious than just making out. Here's my issue and what I need advice on if anybody has it: it seems like in the last couple of years I've been meeting some really great women. I like them and they like me. However, I'm completely mortified for any of them to find out that I've never had a girlfriend before. I'm really self-conscious about it that I know it's sabotaged potential realtionships several times. This has been getting worse and worse as time has gone by. Anyway, I guess the main issue is that I'm just so embarrassed by it and terrified of what will happen when somebody I'm interested in finds out about it. If anybody out there's had a similar experience and has worked through it, I'd love to know what happened. How did the person you were interested in react?

Zadnerist

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Joined: 15 Jan 2007
Posts: 14

Re: Need Advice
Posted: 05-20-07 18:38pm

tmckenzie wrote:

I've got the same problem as everybody else here. 26 and never had a legitimate girlfriend. I've kissed a few girls at college parties, never anyting serious. Never had sex and I've never done anything more serious than just making out.
Here's my issue and what I need advice on if anybody has it: it seems like in the last couple of years I've been meeting some really great women. I like them and they like me. However, I'm completely mortified for any of them to find out that I've never had a girlfriend before. I'm really self-conscious about it that I know it's sabotaged potential realtionships several times. This has been getting worse and worse as time has gone by. Anyway, I guess the main issue is that I'm just so embarrassed by it and terrified of what will happen when somebody I'm interested in finds out about it.
If anybody out there's had a similar experience and has worked through it, I'd love to know what happened. How did the person you were interested in react?

This doesn't seem like nothing at all, I have already stated I've never had a gf, but I've never even kissed agirl. Now you say you have, and I believe and feel you shouldn't worry about that, if you do it shows your weak and insecure with yourself. You should let go of your Fact of never having a gf, and take the Plunge.
My sister told me that I should date several girls at once and out of the group I've dated the one I find to be my favorite I should start getting serious with. The others I'd see less and less, and more and more of the Favorite.

You should feel confident, I don't think it matters that you havn't had a gf. Just let go of it, and do it.

entices1

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Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Posts: 120
Location: North Florida, USA

to All Those Who Never Had a Girlfriend Posted: 05-20-07 19:36pm


I've read most of the replies to the original poster (skipping the flames). Would you like to hear from a 50-year-old woman? This is probably going to be a "stream of consciousness" thing but I'll do what I can to keep on point. When I was in high school (some time before many of you were born), I went out exactly one time. I had several crushes but I just couldn't get past all the games the guys and girls played. I ended up being part of male group (my favorite sport was baseball, and I could hold my own with the best of them) and, while it was nice to belong to a group, the crush thing was worse. I died inside when these guys would tell me about their girlfriend problems. I was outwardly successful and inwardly miserable. Then came college. I fell for this guy but I think another friend of mine made a concerted effort to go after him and there went my chance. I eventually met someone and ended up going through a relationship that, in retrospect was The Relationship From Hell. I did learn a great deal, however, and the first thing was that not everything that glitters is gold. I licked my wounds for five years, had a short relationship (another bad one) and licked my wounds for another five years, had another disasterous relationship (I moved 1000 miles from where I grew up I was so crazy about him) and licked my wounds for another several years. The biggest thing I learned, as was posted earlier, was that I had to be happy with myself before I could be happy with someone else. I had finally decided (this was when I was in my 30s) that I was meant to be single for the rest of my life and I accepted that. I finally married at 38 and been married to the same person ever since (it took just over five years between the time we met and the time we married). It must hurt terribly to feel that your romantic life is over at such a young age and I'm sorry that, so far, a chance for love has passed you by. You have the power to change your life. You should consider defining yourself in terms of yourself, not in terms of what other people think. If you let other people decide who you are then you'll never be happy. So easy to say, right? But it's true. You sound terribly depressed--have you considered seeing a mental health professional? Perhaps there's something within you that you don't realize that is derailing potential chances for a relationship. Stay away from the clubs, discos and all that, unless you want to laugh at the plastic people. If you're going to go, don't get your hopes up for anything other than a one-night stand. You don't want that, believe me! I would be hesitant about cyberdating--I'm glad for the poster that found someone but it's too easy to either inflate oneself (for whatever reason) or for the other person to build up in his/her mind what the poster on the other end is like. When the actual encounter takes place at least one of them gets a piping-hot reality sandwich and it doesn't taste good. I don't know that gyms are the best place because some women can be extremely narcissistic (self-absorbed) and the only reason they go is to find some hot-looking guy. Women that are interested in physical qualities can be extremely shallow--hair will go grey and/or get thinner, figures will change, financial fortunes can change. It's not the women who are in the front row, the ones a little farther back, the ones who get overlooked almost all the time, that are the ones that may have relationship potential. Is it possible you're focusing too much on one set of "must haves" and overlooking other things? I'll bet that a possible Significant Other is sitting at home, crying her eyes out because she's (fill in the number) years old and never had a boyfriend. That's the pity of it--so many people stay isolated because they're painfully shy, had a disasterous relationship that has made them extremely leery of connecting with someone, or has a terrible problem with self esteem. The first thing that attracted (and still does) me to a man is his sense of humor. Not being a clown but being able to toss a good line (not a chat-up). In fact, I was crazy about a guy who had the most wonderful sense of humor (we went through a Masters Program together) and that quality shone more than the fact that he was a little shorter that I was (I'm 5'7") and bald (but not shaven head). I was actually shocked with myself. I had decided that I would only consider a man with a full head of hair, but realized that looks weren't important, it was something else. There was no relationship potential, try as I did. I can't tell you how to find a girlfriend except that it takes time and it happens to everyone in his own way. Everyone that I've known has told me it happens when they least expect it (it was for me!). I agree with other posters that you may want to consider trying something that hold some interest. Maybe you can get a friend to go with you for moral support. Just take the first step to find something--perhaps bicycling or (and this is really going out on a limb) ball room dancing? Something I would never consider doing on my own, but I went with a female friend of mine and it was actually kind of cool. All the newbies are extremely self-conscious so you wouldn't be alone. Who knows, there might be someone there that also went because she wwas dragged there (I wasn't) and, by meeting you, felt relaxed in your presence (or was a little less self-conscious, anyway). Most of the other posters who have offered helpful advice to those of you who pine for a Significant Other say things along the same lines. I don't think I'm telling you anything new or different, so there must be something in what we say. Those in happy, long-lasting relationships know that it started with a friendship (if you don't have that there will no basis on which to build a relationship). However, you have to be friends with yourself before you can be friends with anyone else. Good luck and I sincerely hope that you first find happiness in yourself. Just the words of a fossil-ette

someguy2345

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Posted: 07-29-07 03:25am


I'm 32 y/o never had a Girl friend, It's kinda depressing when I think about it, but I don't let it get to me

entices1

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Location: North Florida, USA

32 And Lonely Posted: 08-01-07 19:46pm


I'm so sorry you're hurting over this (and I read that you are). Have you taken stock of yourself--is there something that you're saying or doing that might derail chances of a relationship? Are most of your hobbies/pleasures those can pretty much be done in solitude (i.e., reading, TV, gaming, etc.)? Yes, I realize that gaming, posting and chatting can be interactive but they don't involve actual face time so that doesn't count. Do you have friends, both male and female that you trust that would give you an honest answer to the "what's the matter with me"-type of question? Do you like yourself? Can you accept your shortcomings and work on them? You really have to accept yourself for who you are (be a "friend" to yourself) before even considering a friendship with anyone else. Are you trying to go after the women in "the first row"? Yes, they're probably real babes, stuff dreams are made of but, truth be told, they're at their peak (if they haven't already) and are on their way down. I would advise you to skip the women in their early 20s--your life experiences are very different and you may find it hard to have common ground (although my mom was 20 and my dad 32 when they married and stayed married until just short of their 50th anniversary when he passed away). That parenthetical statement aside, your priorities and their priorities are different. What about the women in the rows farther back? The ones that are kind of shy and find it hard to start a conversation? The loners? Maybe they're not quite the lookers you're hoping for but they have inner beauty that time can never take away. You know, there is a difference between being "alone" and "lonely". One can be alone and be very happy (like me on weekends when the hubster is fishing); one can be in a crowd and feel terribly lonely. What would you say to someone in your position? Would you take your own advice? Do write back and good luck.

JKroeg

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Same Deal With Me Posted: 08-02-07 01:08am


i'm a 20 y/o virgin in college who has never had a girlfriend, or been on a date, or kissed a girl, or got anywhere close to a girl. i can't talk to a girl at a party or at a bar because 1) i feel like everyone is watching me and judging me, and 2) a feel competition from every other guy around me. "why would she choose me over anyone else here?" that kinda thing. if i see a pretty girl in a public place alone(which is almost never) i 1)pysche myself out of it or 2) start having a panic attack. negative things just keep running through my mind. any time that i've actually somehow gotten a chance to talk to a girl i like, i'm panicking the whole time. I try and keep coming up with interesting things to talk about, but after 5-10 minutes I just can't think of anything. which leads to her leaving/talking to somebody else. my friends say i have a fun/funny personality, my friends girlfriends have told me i'm good looking and should have somebody/"will find the right girl someday" all of this has led me to a severe depression

12D3

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Never Posted: 08-17-07 00:19am


I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm 17. Not even a puppy-love relationship like you said you've had. To me, a girlfriend brings nothing but problems. Such as, they are controlling, lots of drama, they nag, and complain. It's not worth it in the TEENAGE years, but maybe when I'm about 20 or so, yeah.

Swuy

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Posted: 08-30-07 10:47am


Found this thread through Google too, I'm 15, Scandinavian and quite good looking, I maybe shouldn't say that I'm VERY good looking but at least average, or a bit above (so that should not get me any troubles). The only problems I've got is: I'm almost always at home, playing around with the computer, playing various instruments and the spare time I use to listen to music (and when I'm listening to music I do it in a hardcore way ). The only times I do something else, like going out I'm ALWAYS blocked up by friends (and they are most often quite intimidating) and when I get time on my own I have no idea what to do, as everybody else (too) is walking around in large packs of friends. I'm not as nerdy as some friends, but I might sometimes come forward as a bit of a "computer intrested book nerd also with some intresest in straaange music" (that's 60's-70's Rock and Folk (Rock), and that kind of stuff ), the most of this is of course totally untrue. That I don't sit in the stairways, blocking them up and also with 5 cigarettes in my hand. Not that everybody do that, but it's still that thing with junior high (at least here) that feels a bit like walking around in a combat zone. I might also come forward as a little bit bashful and as all of my friends I have some with troubles talking slowly and consistent, not that I don't use correct words (unusually) but more of a kind of "use the most words in 10 seconds", sounding like some kind of a young Douglas Adams (for you who have read his books). Trying to say 1000 things and do the same amount of jokes in a very short time. But on to the story, I've never had a girlfriend. Not even been close. Just a quick summary of my life being in love somewhat: Kindergarten - Yes, I know that you really can't be in-love with someone at this age. But still this is the ONLY time I've liked someone that also have liked me to. There was this girl there that I had a crush on (as much as you can like someone at this age) and I'm 100% sure she also liked me. However nothing more happened (however, at least at this kindergarten the children used to have "relationships"). 1st to 3rd grade - Liked some girl, pretty sure she had no particular intrest in me (althrough I can't be sure, didn't really do much to find out). I got over it, pretty quickly (relative to how long my usual crushes last). The same conditions was applying here as at kindergarten though, nothing was really serious in any way. 4th to 5th grade - Things started to get more serious around this age, had a huge crush on a girl for maybe 2 years. Knew her somewhat, and I did some progress here. I actually talked to her sometimes (!). Nothing developed and I got over it as I moved on to Junior High. Did not have any relationship with any girl during this years, serious or not, 99.9% of the students did have at least one. Even though it might not have been serious (as expressed above) I do think that it would've been of GREAT importance. Not only would I've gotten the chance to learn a bit about "relationships", but most importantly I would probably have learnt how to talk not only with people I knew well, and especially girls. But I did think "But this is no real problem, I'm sure it all will work out in time" (and with that I meant before 8th-9th grade). 6th to 9th grade (the present) - All of this time, even at the end of the 5th grade I've had a crush on the same girl (that's nearly 4 years now). And I just can't get over her. She's VERY good-looking and overally VERY attractive, whick of course others think to. And I have to argue with entices1 here, this is a front row girl. But I have such a crush on her, and I don't want to look "further back in the rows", 'couse I really like her. Even if she would be handicapped or whatever I still would like her. But this MASSIVE, MADLY HUGE crush I've got on her just makes me more nervous, and being a front row-one it's not like she has troubles getting boyfriends. And the fact that she's actually both smart and nice just adds on everything. This "but this is no real problem, I'm sure it all will work out in time"-thinking has started to progress against the final goal. And I've lately been talking with her over the internet sometimes and have spoken to her in real life to (but only briefly, and I've of course been really nervous so I've mostly come forward as everything I mentioned as the reasons I've have problems with this), and this has by some reason made me to fall madly in love with her, and that is (of course) the reason I'm actually using my time to write all of this. And I just can't walk up to this girl, cause I don't want to get turned down as I spend the most of my days in the same room as her, and that would probably almost kill me. Things also get worse and now even the most bad-looking and the biggest gaming nerd I've ever met (he's though nice, that's why he's a friend of mine) also has a damn girlfriend (not trying to say he's not worth it, I'm happy for him. But he's really the last person you would think of). How the hell did he do it? And how the hell does other people (and quite alot of them more bad-looking than me) get lots of girls, all of the time?!? Anyway I'll continue doing the same thing, and if there's any progress I'd make sure to report it here. Probably some things I've forgotten to write, and my english might not be the best, but I hope you'll understand what I'm trying to say. I'll end this post with a little depressing songlyric-quote (or whatever you should call it): "And I can see no end in sight and search in vain by candlelight for some long road that goes nowhere for some signpost that is not there." ...you can guess the name of the song to, if you would like to And I just wanted to add that it's NOT true that guys that play guitar and sing and do concerts and so on (all of that stereotypic stuff) get girls. Haven't got any advantage by doing that.

d3v1ld0g

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Posted: 09-04-07 00:51am


OK i didnt read all the replys to this but I just have to put in my opinion. You must have a confidence issue. I had the same problem as you did i never had a girlfriend my whole life blah blah blah. Just reach between your legs and give yourself a nut check..If they are still there then use them. Go up to the hottest girl you can find and just talk to her. Youd be suprised on how many non-shallow girls there are out there bud. And you know what if they say no then at least you can say you had a conversation with a smokin hot chick LOL. Before I met my fiancee, I did it all the time. just go up to a chick and talk. Sometimes you bag them and sometimes you dont. Its called being in the dating game. now go out there and play it. PS dont fall in love with the first one you meet...play the game man and get it out of your system, if not youll prolly get your heart broken and end up being an anti-social, suicidal, computer nerd living in his moms basement.

simon99

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Never Had a Girlfriend Posted: 09-07-07 13:03pm


Hi everyone, im new to this forum so forgive me if i do anything wrong! i also have never had a serious relationship and am 19, and get very worried about it sometimes, but instead of everyone simply stating their problems, couldnt someone help with a solution, such as ways to talk to girls, how to show your confident, where to meet them, its easy to say just talk to her, but from what i remember when your nervous, there isnt much popping into my head! any suggestions as to help us all out here?

young Girl

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Re: Never Had a Girlfriend
Posted: 09-07-07 13:06pm

simon99 wrote:

Hi everyone, im new to this forum so forgive me if i do anything wrong!

i also have never had a serious relationship and am 19, and get very worried about it sometimes, but instead of everyone simply stating their problems, couldnt someone help with a solution, such as ways to talk to girls, how to show your confident, where to meet them, its easy to say just talk to her, but from what i remember when your nervous, there isnt much popping into my head!

any suggestions as to help us all out here?

hello and welcome to ehealth! you are YOUNG hun1 have fun with your life and let girls and relationships come naturally!

octanehammer

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Never Had a G/f Posted: 10-28-07 05:50am


Trust me, I've got the tale to put an end to all tales. I'm 33, never had a g/f. Women always tell me than I am handsome, and cannot understand why I am single. Though none ever take it upon themselves to change that. They usually assume someone else will do it. As far as my tale to put an end to all tales. My sophomore year in high school, the "jocks" thought it would be funny to get the girl I had a crush on to lead me along. Get my nerves up and ultimately ask her out during the homecoming game. I was humiliated in front of most of the school. My junior year, the cheerleading squad thought it would be funny to repeat the previous years game, this time at a baseball game I was humiliated. When I was 30 I thought I finally met her. We fit together in every respect. She told me I never had to worry about being along again. She wanted to marry me, have my children. She never had any intention of going thru with it. This time I was humiliated in from of friends, family and co-workers. I am now 33. To those who are in the same boat as I, yes we are missing something. Girlfriends and relations DO NOT come naturally. It is either something we have or something we don't. And I have tried all the trick, "just talking to them", being "confident" (just grabbing the ball and running with it) I do not think is means there is something wrong with "us". I throughly believe it a reflection of the sad state of the world today. Boys need to be taught a very early age not to "play" but cherish, and respect them. Girls need to be taught, we ARE NOT gravy trains, and that just because he looks like Brad Pitt, he probably will not treat her as well as he looks. O.k. the last bit is a bit personal. But seriously what we teach our children regarding what to look for in a mate is really askew.

Maddie34

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Posted: 10-28-07 11:32am


Well I certainly think the women you have come across need to be taught these lessons, however there are many women out there that do know that looks aren't everything and that men have feeling too. I'm sorry you went through this, its a horrible thing. But are you going after the same kind of girl over and over again? I agree with boys and girls needing to be taught to cheerish the other, but I think that there are a lot of people who already have had these teachings too, and unfortunately it never seems to be the cheer leading squad.

octanehammer

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Never Had a G/f Posted: 10-28-07 14:56pm


Thanks for the input. To answer your question, no. Over the course of my life I have striven to chase as wide a variety of women as possible. I just always seem to be on the short end of things and alone.