Broken Hearted Forum - Never Had a Girlfriend


Never Had a Girlfriend

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Maddie34

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Posted: 10-28-07 15:27pm


I'm so sorry things always seem to turn out for the worst. I can't imagine the type of women you seem to come across and apparently they are more abundant than I had assumed which is a horrible thing. Please don't even consider the notion that there is something wrong with you. Because there isn't. You seem like a very nice man who is willing to treat his partner with love and respect. The women who you've been with have the problems. They seem just plain cruel. Don't ever let anyone think you are lacking. Never stop looking, becuase I can garuntee there are some wonderful women out there going through the same thing as you. It sounds cliche but you just need to find eachother. Thirty three isn't too old to find happiness. I wish you the best of luck in finding the wonderful lady you deserve octanehammer!

octanehammer

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Never Had a G/f. Posted: 10-29-07 01:41am


Thanks for the kind words. They are too few and too far between it seems at times. I have tried all (I hate to say it) "types" of girls. Everything from church going girls to goth girls. From country to done time for drug trafficking. From rich snobs, to russian immigrants Generally, I get the up front lie. Which kinda goes as such... I ask the girl out to see if things would progress, and I usually get "Oh that sounds great! Here let me get your number and I'll call you and let you know when we can get together." Then...nothing I never hear from them. I have had a handfull of first dates, a few second, but have never had a third, as well as the examples I listed in the earlier post. I have even gone after "bi-sexual" and girls who have been put through the wringer by either an ex-husband or an ex-boyfriend, those that voiced the same concerns as I. They couldn't understand why they were treated like garbage by their ex, but then turn around and do it to someone else. One claimed an ex-boyfriend had her on her knees with a pistol to her head threatening her life, she happens to be the done who lead me on regarding wanting to marry me and have my kids. She was also the one who was in work release for dugs, soon to be on parole. I know, I know, but hey I am not perfect, and if fate was to bring her and I together who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth. (She claimed for months that her criminal ways were a part of her past) So alas, I am left with just one logical conclusion. It has to be something wrong with me. I am kinda shy, but it isn't that bad. Something I usually have no effort in overcoming. It has to be me. If not for ladies of well... Ill-repute, then I would be the unfortunate guy in that movie "40 year old virgin" (Actually it does scare me exactly how close to reality that movie actually is)

The Godly One

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Posted: 11-01-07 20:49pm

Maddie34 wrote:

I'm so sorry things always seem to turn out for the worst. I can't imagine the type of women you seem to come across and apparently they are more abundant than I had assumed which is a horrible thing.

Please don't even consider the notion that there is something wrong with you. Because there isn't. You seem like a very nice man who is willing to treat his partner with love and respect. The women who you've been with have the problems. They seem just plain cruel. Don't ever let anyone think you are lacking.

Never stop looking, becuase I can garuntee there are some wonderful women out there going through the same thing as you. It sounds cliche but you just need to find eachother. Thirty three isn't too old to find happiness.

I wish you the best of luck in finding the wonderful lady you deserve octanehammer!

It is very possible that the man simply does not understand the way people around him act.

These women were obviously playing him for a fool, and I reckon that the vast majority would have been able to see it. Easily.

It does not mean that he is stupid, but there must be something lacking in the way he perceives the world.

The Godly One

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Re: Never Had a G/f.
Posted: 11-01-07 20:56pm

octanehammer wrote:

So alas, I am left with just one logical conclusion. It has to be something wrong with me. I am kinda shy, but it isn't that bad. Something I usually have no effort in overcoming. It has to be me. If not for ladies of well... Ill-repute, then I would be the unfortunate guy in that movie "40 year old virgin" (Actually it does scare me exactly how close to reality that movie actually is)

I would agree that the problem lies with you. It does not mean that it cannot be worked on.

Have you seen a psychologist?

The trouble is that without actually observing your behavior a person cannot pin down what is wrong, but since you realise that you have a problem you should seek out help that you can trust.

That would be professional help.

Mikolas

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Posted: 11-02-07 10:40am


Sorry if I'm repeating other people's stuff, I read the original, and the ones above me, but not the pages in between. Too much reading, too little time!!! I think you are taking this too seriously. Those two girls you mentioned, the first one being a friend from long ago, another that you met online. You basically got what was expected, and your taking it too harshly. First girl, with a boyfriend, 450 miles away, why should anybody expect it to work. Second girl, internet, completely unreliable, why should that work out. I was quite a lonesome child during high school and hated the world and existence to a point where I've often fantasized in the train station how easy it could be to end it all by just stepping into the tracks right before the train came. The urges I felt sometimes when I was in the very front... Anyway, during that time because I was very lonely due to long and boring reasons to write about, I surfed the internet quite a bit as well. I went through, hundred to a few hundred of internet friends, far majority being girls. How many of them do I still talk to now, sophomore in college? Two girls, both of them bi's dating girls strangely. Don't expect much out of it, I let people's lies get to me and took it too seriously, regardless of what people say, because they try to be nice, they will lie or not really mean anything to the truest sense that you are seeking. They will become distant despite what they have said, do not have your hopes up. Stick to the ones that are still there for you, which will be very few. You really are taking this too seriously, you do realize there are people out there twice your age and still having the "40 year old virgin" problem right, they would probably read your post and scoff. I'm 19, I've never yet dated, so you beat me on that, I'm still quite the virgin and even saved my first kiss still and pretty proud of it actually. What's so special about giving in to your instincts like every other hound doggy, and losing something that you will never have the option of having ever again? That is me personally though, I do not like giving in or losing to primal instincts or ordeals. As I emphasized, you are worrying over unfortunate events that you yourself have set up. Two unreliable means of being with a girl, and a lifestyle that prevents you from meeting a girl. YOU are the limit and reason why this has occurred and did not progress. I don't mean its your fault because of your personality, looks, etc, I mean your lifestyle and your actions at the moment doesn't put you in circumstances that can get you a girl (i.e, your college with mainly men). I am seeking for the right one, as you are, but you went through what, two EXPECTED events with these girls and letting your hurt and nervousness get to you. I however, and spending my time on my studies, working out, taking up skills such as dancing, going to be joining a cooking club soon (so i can be a master chef =) ), going to find a place that will give me massage lessons (yes this sounds "gay", but I want to be good at it), last summer I worked 60+ hours a week, gained my certification as a Personal Trainer/CPR/First Aide/AED. No, I'm not listing all these unimportant facts to you to "show off", I'm emphasizing how you could better utilize your time. Half the time, I feel that the reason why I am trying to do so much, is so that when I find that special girl, I can be the best that I could possibly be for her. I wasted too much time moping and sulking in high school about how lonely I am in high school, don't let it get to you, we already lived 20 years of life. I wasted 4 of them, I don't have much youth or life (if you consider how fast 20 years was, you will be 40, 60, and dead before you know it) to afford worrying about getting a girl. ::takes a deep breath:: =)

MJB919

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Posted: 01-23-08 16:39pm


My story is basically the same as every other on this thread. I'm 22 years old and have never in my life had a relationship. I'm not shy (I'm very outgoing), I have a lot of friends, I'm not gay (I'm totally into women), everyone says I'm a good looking guy, I try to be nice and not too pushy when talking to girls, yet getting a girlfriend has been just hopeless for me despite a number of tries. Since high school there have been many girls I liked and would take a chance at asking out. Yet some would only want to be friends while most wanted nothing to do with me. Now I'm reaching the end of college, I'm getting deep into my 20's and I'm starting to wonder what could possibly be wrong with me. Why is this so difficult? Especially when it seems so easy for everyone else. I've tried talking to other people about this problem and all I get is the classic "don't worry there is someone for everyone" phrase which doesn't really help. I even tried reading dating advice articles but all they do is give mixed messages. Some say be yourself while others say be differant. That of course doesn't help either simply because I can't change who I am. I will admit that its partially my fault I have this problem. I have rejected a few girls that I could have hooked up with. The reason why is because they would be obese, unattractive, and more desperate than I am. Why should I have to go for someone who is not my type? I know its harder to get with the better women but its not like I don't try. Sometimes I'll get a phone number and she'll never return my calls, while other times she'll try to give me hints that she's not interested. With all this seemingly endless frusteration I am starting to fear that this is how its always gonna be. I worry that the movie 40 Year Old Virgin resembles my future lol. Thinking about this makes me feel depressed, degraded, even suicidal. Any help would mean a lot. THANKS

dontcare

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Posted: 02-08-08 01:51am


Wow, can't believe how many losers there are like me. I'm 21, no girlfriend. I got like a 140 IQ and the thing i understand most is how the world works. The problem with me is that I am me. Girls know i don't have what they're looking for, ie money, car, popularity. I'm not bad looking but my face is slightly tweeked to look mean, i have no idea why. I just look like tom cruise but mean. Hence i want all the hot girls but i just end up intimidating everyone. Its not like i haven't been asked out by girls i've been on the verge of being stalked by girls. I just can't start dating a girl because i know it's going to end bad, i just feel i dont have anything to offer and I'm just waiting till i do. I've never asked a girl out, i feel pathetic especially when i see the girls i like dating someone when i feel i could be better. My life had been going so bad, im still living with my parents, i was so broke. But im getting a new car next week paid nearly in full. and im moving out in about 6 months so all i could do is hope.

Ayrshire-lass

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hahaha ok Posted: 02-11-08 17:24pm


well i never read everyones reply because to be honest i would be here untill nxt year. i onlt every went out with one person and that was 2 years ago. i was 16/17. he died in Iraq when i was 7 month preg. ive never realy had a real relationship to be honest. Im defo not saying ive had no action though lol. to be honest you went to an all guys skool. and a college that had mostly guys. thats it!!! thats where everything was doomed in the first place. and unless your the most popular guy in college the likey hood of you being noticed is like 100 - 1 lol ive seen a few folk have said try a new seene. DEFFINATLY! go to a different place to meet folk. go out window shopping a few times or go where girls hang out. it will work eventually

NewportPleasure

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thoughts Posted: 02-13-08 18:07pm


i have a few thoughts on some of the posts and replys in this forum. first off, girls shouldnt be giving advice on here cause being a virgin for a girl means your pure and everyone wants you, being a virgin as a guy its completely different, b/c you are the laughing stock of your friends Jilted Heart made a good point when he hit on body language. Learning body language and key actions is helpful in 2 ways, you can read people and know what there thinking and predict certain situations to go for or to avoid, also you can manipulate it to convey a message to people without saying it which saves alot of face sometimes. mad hornet also made a good point when he touched on traveling to another land. thats a good idea cause you can keep in the back of your head, "whos gonna know about this anyway- nobody." that will bring another level of confidence if you remember that. im 20 and i know how you guys feel, ive had maybe 4 girlfriends in my entire life, and im a virgin too. celabacy prevents certain embarassment for certain people and also prevents std's. Being a man is about how you treat people around you.

teejay21

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Joined: 20 Feb 2008
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Posted: 02-20-08 10:12am


Hey all. I'm in the same boat as many of the others here. 20 and never had a gf. Have tryed many times - i think just like everyone eles here. I hasnt bothered me up untill now, hitting 21, well its a big deal is most countries. Slowly becoming more and more desperate to find "the one" buti know it dosnt come over night, or places you try. It might just come randomly down the street where you accidently bump into someone. But i dunno. I work, goto social events, play alotta sport keep fit, not bad looking. I got all the "essentials" if you must. I asked some of the girls at work, what they think of me and told them my problem - im not afraid to ask people for help. What they told me, well...confused me in a way. They said im too nice. Now i dunno what girls want nowadays but being too nice a bad thing? It seems to me that most girls want bad @$$ guys who get pisst every night and come home drunk? If it comes to sexual emotions and all that, heck i got all that, i would give as much as any other guy would to a girl. But being too nice? argh sometimes it gets me thining i should just strip the good attitude and just go bad @$$. But thats not me, and that would make me even more depressed and hopeless i reckon - trying to be someone eles. What i thought, in a world now that girls want kind guys who open doors for them and give them candle light dinner, someone who can provide them with love for the future. I don't know, i just don't know anymore. It's coming to a point where its unbearable...seeing all your friends being with someone they love - you go out socially, night clubs, parties, even small get together. I'm usually the only one alone, i go off on my own and see if there is any luck out there but most girls aint interested. Alwell, was good to let my emotions out ! all good now. Time will tell guys, time will tell. Things will just be placed into our hands and i reckon we will have the last laugh.