After ending a relationship advice

Hi.


I want to rekindle a lost relationship.


In summary, it was lost due to some impasses. My girlfriend was very defensive and angry with me when I asked her if she could stop being so chronically late or why she was reluctant to mention when she was going out for drinks or something with another guy. After months of arguements about the same things ("things" which basically boiled down to her defensiveness and anger when I asked her these things), I lost patience and began becoming very angry - yelling, pointing at her in her face while asking her to stop with the contrarian games (as that's what it began seeming to be), and even accidentally slapped her (accidentally as in it was dark as we sat arguing, and I swiped my open hand by her in frustrated disgust and it made contact with her chin - no good and very regrettable, I know). I also broke it off a few times during such arguements as it was clear during them that she was not willing to try to see it from my perspective.


She cannot forgive the slap nor the breaking it off, though says "i love you" sometimes (in response to my saying it) and has said that "if ever we were to get back together, it would be long from now". Can you imagine a way to rekindle? I now see that my direct approach (concede when you've wronged, try to see from other person's perspective, and learn from it for the better of the relationship), and think that with everything else we had (physically amazing, spiritual connection, lots in common interest wise, intellectually compatible, politically agreeable...) I could marry her if the communications were better - and I think they can be with what i've learned and perhaps with some couples counseling. I am afraid of driving her away by trying to maintain closeness, though am afraid she might meet someone else and be lost if not. She can be quite stubborn and independent and is very intelligent.


What might you guess would be the best way to proceed? Please help.


Thanks.