I See Things Like a Dream...

Hi ,
don't take this the wrong way, I know you're probobly frightened by what you saw. Most people in modern culture have absolutely no training on how to deal with the other world. This world likes to say that one's not real. Visa versa too.

There is no reason to fear. You are being called by the spirits. That's my interpretation anyway, please take with the grain of salt it deserves, as I am a schizotypal maniac. But a shaman for twenty years, and I consider my dual membership among humans and demons a huge advantage.

American indian society knows what to do. I am an aztec indian, haveing trained with shamans around the world, practicing for twenty years. I am red magic, a combo of white and black.

Here's my interpretation. The spirits are calling you to be a shaman. It's time to learn about the world you are being introduced to. But there is a danger, if you entertain the slightest notion of "fear of death". That's the problem . Modern culture preaches fear of death, and so when you step directly outside your "shell", and seee the demons all around you, you become confused and think they are "here" in the human world and you're wrong. Simple interpretation mistake of your simplistic culture.

It's not there's one of you, one world, and both you and the demons/spirits are in it. It's that there are two separate worlds - the human world and the demon world. The human world is the core, but it is surrounded and far outnumbered by the hungry dead spirits. Teeth and jaws and dogs in the night. And there are two of you. And your consciousness is expanding to see out of both sets of eyes. Just don't be confused. Know that most people stay in their shell and can't see what you see. They can be attacked by demons but they interpret it as a cold or a nausea or cancer. But you see them trying to scare you - to get your attention. Like wild animals, if you show fear, they'll try to scare you. They're confused too, and hungry. You must have more than average of what they need.

Don't listen to your foolish culture and turn them a deaf ear! They need us! Minister to the demons. Teach them what they need to see - the heaven inside ofc them. Because evil, calmed down, is beauty.

Realize that you can go between the worlds now, which is what a shaman is - a person who knows the secret of traveling between the worlds.

I've been practicing for twenty years but on my own I can't get far outside my body, only out of my shell and into the demon world. The first stop. But you need to develop a relationship with a spirit guide, a powerful implementation of the entire universe around you, dedicated to you, protecting you, and feeding you all the power you can handle, and teaching you how to use it. That's who's behind what's going on, and it must be for your own good. He needs to guide you past the demon world to the mystical dimension where all the shamans go.

They are very powerful. You have been tapped to join them. It's as bad as a gang though. If you go in you'll never get out. You'll be permanently changed, and your human life will fall away. Like dying. Or becoming a monk. But fascinating. An amazing way to spend a human life, but hard for those who have grown so attached to the human world and way of life.
And beware of attempting to ignore the call. They know what you have and they know where you are, and if you fight them they'll posess you, and no amount of psychotropic drugs / chemical lobotomies will get them off of you.

Has a close relative died recently?

Anyway, like I said - grain of salt. This is an option you should be aware of.

-onderdonk

You cant tell him that!

I did put the "grain of salt" disclaimer in there twice.

But this is something they will not hear from anyone else.
Most people probobly don't care anyway,
but I write to alot of people and once in the while
they relate to me and are thankful for the alternative explanations.

I tried seroquel about 5 years ago, and I liked it as a recreational type of drug. Made me calm. I said to myself "this must be what it's like to be normal, because i'm not thinking up strange or antagonistic things all the time, i'm just kind of zombie like, and my behavior is coming out alot more like what most people's is'

but they got me up to 600mg a day of the junk, and then I went biking up to a mountintop and looked down over the hudon river valley and said -'this isn't for me. This is nice but it isn't fixing my problem' - so I quit cold turkey. Quit th drug, quit coffee, quit food, quit water, cut my phone lines with scissors, threw my wife out, let the electricity get cut off,

and for 8 days I was more crazy than normal, kind of dangerous(but I pulled all punches, luckily) and then I settled down, back to my inital state.

And that taught me that it wasn't the "chemical imbalance", I am just a mutant. I have a level of serotonin that's different, but my genes want it right there where it is, and if drugs mss with it the genes just fight back. My insanity is my equilibrium.

This is who I am. I don't need the chemical lobotomy they want me to have. The doctors all suggest I try this stuff, but I just say "explain to me how this is suppose to help me" because I know they have no idea what the science is - they just know it shuts up obnoxious nonsense, which is all they think of anything they didn't learn in school with their five senses.

And while I was on the zombie meds, I didn't get the rave reviews I usually get for th classes I teach. My insanity helps me. My delusions are my hobby. This is only an option for me because of the shamanism training. It's not for everyone, but it is for some of the people but it isn't really well known in the caucasian cultures.

Onderdonk

How long have you been on your own for?

Do you watch a lot of horror movies,sometimes those sort of things can really pollute your mind.They stay in your memory and if you happen to have a mental illness alot of those films can be twisted up and brought out into your mind.Thats probably why your hallucinations are so gory and horrific.I used to feel like I was living in a thriller movie when I got paraniod schizorphrenia, I would have terrifing visions of how people could harm me,kill me and even get hurt by things that werent real.I think you should talk to someone who can help you, im not saying they wont put you on drugs because thats usually the norm when there faced with something like that.Please speak to someone.

And I thought I had problems ... Even though my episodes are far less horrific, I still suffer to the point where I can't function, and everyday life becomes a epic struggle, how in hell can you tolerate such madness ?