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Dash16

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2005
Posts: 2
Location: Sacramento, CA
Help!
Posted: 01-02-05 22:03pm

My fiancée was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 5-6 months ago. She has been seeing a therapist for some time before the diagnosis, and it was thought she might have post traumatic stress syndrome. I suppose it is possible that she has both, the symptoms for both are very similar, and describe what she is going through. From the informationt that I have been able to gather about the disorder it appers that she has bipolar ii. She has been on and off a few different medications, none of which seem to be working. She is currently not taking any meds, and it doesn't seem to make a difference. I know her current meds are not working... We tried to see a psychiatrist at the end of december but due to some paperwork problems they gave her appointment away and we don't know when we can get another.

About 4 months ago, she admitted herself to a mental health hospital which proved unhelpful. Shortly after we moved in with her parents to save money for our upcoming wedding, and also because I lost my job. I've lost 2 jobs this past year due to overseas outsourcing, so I am going to school to get a degree and try and get a job higher up on the foodchain. She has an extremely disfunctional relationship with her mother, which probably is making our current situation worse.

She's already tried to kill herself since moving in, and has tried to do it in the past even before she was diagnosed. Her mother, through all of this, has not helped in the least bit. Today, we talked to her mother and stepfather about moving out of here because it is not helping her state of mind, and asked if we could get a loan since I am and she is unemployed. Her mother responded near violently, and we've been holed up in her room ever since. Lately I have been staying with her all of the time, as I am afraid she might try and kill herself again. She's smart, I think this time she might not make a mistake about it. I can't bear to lose her, I think if I did it would push me over the brink myself. I'm not bipolar (i think) but my mental health is not so good either, lately. I feel like there is nothing we can do, and with this latest rejection from her mother... I'm afraid.

Our only hope, it seems, is for me to get a job so we can get out of here. My problem with that, as i've said, is leaving her alone. She has pretty much pushed away all of her friends, and the few friends she has have gone away to school. I feel like I am all that she has, all that she can trust, and despite her episodes and feelings towards me when she is having them I know deep down who she can be. It seems the only times that she is happy is when she is manic, which are few and far between. I said earlier that she is bipolar 2, because of what is says here. She is more depressed than manic, and her manic episodes are very mild. I want, more than anything, is to drop off the face of the earth with her, get away from it all, and live our own life, away from our current lives.

I'm not sure what to do. I know we need to see a psychiatrist again. I know that we need to find the right combination of medications to treat her problem. I know I need to find a job... Maybe put school on hold for a while. I'm just not sure how I can do all of this.
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bd1012

Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 31 May 2004
Posts: 1998

Posted: 01-02-05 22:36pm

Hmm.. That's a sticky situation.. According to what you said about her mother.. She sounds like she is also bipolar as well. The only thing I can think of is to admit her to a hospital and say that she is a danger to herself and hopefully they could hold her there for a while so you can work and get out of that house.. What about your parents? Could they house you for a bit? After you get all settled in you def need to get her on some new meds.. It's my belief that not every medicine may be good for somebody.. Some medicine that is poison for one person could be someone elses miracle.. What she needs to do is see someone who can pinpoint what chemical imbalance is causing her problem and prescribe something accordingly. If someone has too much serotonine and it's causing problems.. A seritonine enhancer isn't going to help.

Now you said that she wasn't taking her medication because it wasn't working... How long have you given the meds a chance to work.. It takes a full 6 weeks to be fully effective.. Plus colding any medicine cold turkey could cause problems..
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Dash16

New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Jan 2005
Posts: 2
Location: Sacramento, CA

Posted: 01-02-05 23:06pm

I suppose it is possible her mother is bipolar as well, seeing as the disorder is genetic. I don't think we'll ever know however, her mother refuses therapy, even refused to sit in on my fiancee's session to help her. She's been off the meds for maybe a month, and has been taking them before that for longer, definetly longer than 6 weeks. She's on prozac and and antiseizure medicine now (or at least was until she stopped taking them) and before that it was prozac and depakote. We think that maybe the meds before were what caused her to want to be admitted to the mental health facility before. That didn't help unfortunately, I don't know if it was that particular facilty or what, but that experience has likely made it difficult for her to want to go back. I can't commit her against her wishes... I think it would seriously harm our relationship.

We're talking with her father right now, hopefully he can help us. Thing is he lives in another state. My parents... I don't see that as an option. They don't wholly approve of me and my fiancee, they are very religious and I am not, and my fiancee and I have been living together for a year and a half.
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