:( we've been together for ten years...He
has one kid (17) I have three (17,19,23)
the youngest still home. My s/o is tired
of kids...Wants the 17 tear olds out of
the house when they graduate..His son is
difficult...I have good relationships with
all of my kids...Especially since they've
matured...S/o has a lot of money and has
spoiled his kid rotten and now he's
frustrated with him...I've not had the
same problem...I'm still excited to see my
kids when they come home to visit...He
makes it uncomfortable for me and
them...He expects me to go along with his
desires to not have kids around so much
anymore...He pouts when I want to do
something with or for one of my kids...He
pouts when I want to do artwork instead of
going for a walk or a drive with him.
The longer we're together the words he
gets!!!!
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sandyallen
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 02 Feb 2004 Posts: 4580
Posted: 01-08-05 23:38pm
I have definitely been there and have
learned that if you are not happy, you are
the onlyone that can change it as they
will not change, we can bend but we will
not be broken. I was always taught that
if you make your bed, you must lay in it,
but now I have learned that when the
sheets get dirty, you must change the
sheets and wash them. I also realized
that you can find that helping hand at the
end of your arm.
I also believe in giving someone another
chance, try to sit down with your s/o and
discuss the problems, you can learn alot
with facial expressions.
Good luck to you.
Sincerely,
sandy
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Garnet
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 11 Jan 2005 Posts: 7
Posted: 01-11-05 04:27am
Ten years is too long to wait for him to
change. His issues run way too deep. Get
away from him. I waited twenty five and
am in the process of leaving. Wish I had
done it when I first realized I made a
mistake. I thought he would grow. I was
young and inexperienced. Now I am older
and I know people with this degree of
problems do not change, it is too deep.
Find a healthier person to be with. Find
friends first and get stabilized or you
will repeat the pattern. Get some help
for you.
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Roxy
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Dec 2004 Posts: 25 Location: Il
Posted: 01-13-05 02:36am
Hey eveyone:)
I have a big problem! I know it's
easy for people to say,"just leave",but I
was brought up to "stick it out". My
partner and I went to the same grammar
school together,and high school together
but never talked to each other.We were
shy.We met up again 3 years ago.We didn't
really get to know each other.When my
ex-husband left me,my husband now kind of
replaced him quickly.Four months later I
got pregnant(we planned it).I know....Why
so soon? But I didn't realize he kept
things to himself,kept secrets,and don't
really like to talk things out.He says
it's better to deal with problems on our
own.He has threatened to leave,threw
dishes(in front of our daughter) and
yelled.But we shouldn't talk things out or
a marriage counselor?He said other people
do not need to handle our problems.He
watches other woman when we go anywhere.He
has watched porn many times and swore he
wouldn't do it again.It bothers me sooo
very much because I have gotten so many
compliments and was asked out by so many
men but he is the only one who makes me
feel insecure.Any advice?Anyone? Have a
nice day:)
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PattyV
Extremely EHEALTHy
Joined: 01 May 2004 Posts: 1103 Location: Chicago area
Posted: 01-29-05 21:23pm
It is a good thing to try to work things
out,but both parties have to be willing to
try.You cannot make the relationship work
by yourself.If he says you are the only
one with a problem,that is not a good
sign.If he is not willing to work with you
to resolve your issues,then you can go for
counceling without him.You cannot change
him,but you can change how you react to
his tirades.If you feel physically
threatened,you must not stay -especially
if you are pregnant.Leave until he cools
off and you can talk in a calm
manner.Remember,a relationship takes
two-you cannot fix it all by yourself.Best
to you all.
Patty
