Hi all, I was with a guy for 7 years he
left me and in a matter of a month
replaced me with another girl. It's been
a year so far and I still cry and miss him
so much. The last time I heard from him
he was 1/1/2005 he left me a msg saying
that he loves me and that I will always
have his heart. It's so hard for me to
let him go because even though he has been
leaving me msg's like that one I know it
can't be true since he still hasn't asked
me back out. About 4 months ago I decided
to give another guy a chance and i've been
trying to force myself to like him but I
can't. I don't know what to do. People
tell me to give it time that time will
heal the pain but time hasn't helped me
love him any less. Do any of you have any
advice for me?
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~*klo*~
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 19 Nov 2004 Posts: 353 Location: eng
Posted: 01-10-05 13:43pm
Right now I no how u feel. My bf left me
yesterday. While ending this he was
crying. He said he still loves me and if
he had a nother relationship I would be
the gurl. But I dont get it. I cant get
over him. I feel like crap.
Hope every thing is ok for u
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sftbllchika06
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Dec 2004 Posts: 413 Location: St. Louis
Posted: 01-10-05 16:58pm
I know how you both feel my boyfriend of 2
years left me 4 months ago. I am finally
close to being over it. He told me when
we broke up that he still loved me and
still wanted to be close friends. We
didn't become anything. He has a new
girlfriend as of 2 months ago. He manages
to flaunt it in my face everyday and
treats me like I have some extremely
contagious disease. Why are guys such
jerks? I tried forcing myself to like
people also. That didn't work but now I
have a few crushes so just give it time.
If you see him everyday that makes it
worse but try to make the best out of the
situation. I hope you get over your exes
and can say to yourselves it is his loss.
If you need to talk pm me or email me at
sf
tbllchika2006@yahoo.Com.
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Purple88
New User, Becoming EHEALTHy
Joined: 16 Feb 2005 Posts: 7 Location: Indiana, USA
Helpful Advice Posted: 02-16-05 16:50pm
My advice for anyone trying to get over a
broken heart is don't try to forget
him/her because that will only lead to
more pain. It is the same way if you
lose a loved one. Don't dwell on what
can't happen because you've broken up,
instead dwell on the good things you did
together.
This last summer I was playing "friends
with benifits" with my best friend and I
broke the rules when I became emotionally
attached to him. As the relationship
progressed I began to reallize that even
though he cared for me in the friend sence
there wasn't any chance that he would ever
see me as anything but a nice piece of
friendly a** that he could have anytime he
wanted. So even though it tore me up
inside I knew I had to stop the benifits.
Maybe even the friendship if he wasn't
willing to stay friends.
It's now been almost 6 months and we are
still friends but we will never be good
friends again. He knew why I broke it
off and that it was killing me inside
because he could read my moods and my
thoughts better than anyone else alive,
including my mother.
Yes I still am hurting there is not a
single day that goes by that I don't think
of him and wonder if I did the right
thing. But I know now that I was in love
with him. It's a good possibility that I
will always love him. Am I sorry that
it didn't work out? Not in a million
years. I wouldn't change a single thing
except that I might have gone all the way
more often.
I have always heard that hindsight is
better than foresite and it is true.
Our differences would never have worked
themselves out. (ei. I'm more
religious, he's not)
i'm sorry your hurting, I hope this helps
a bit.
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Justin_Toronto
Experienced User , Rather EHEALTHy
Joined: 28 Jan 2005 Posts: 418 Location: Toronto, ON
Thanks: 1
Thanked:0
Posted: 02-16-05 18:04pm
7 years is a very long time... Believe
me, I know. Yes time will heal... But
not in a year. Typical rule of thumb is
that it takes half the length of the
relationship (if healthy) to get over
them. If it was a bad relationship the
healing time goes quicker. From my own
experiences and from others I know, this
seems to be a fairly accurate rule of
thumb.
But the problem is... You have another 2+
years of pain ahead of you, how do you
cope with it?
Well first off, you should tell him to
stop leaving you these types of voice mail
messages. Everytime he does this, he is
pulling you back in... Tugging you along
with this string. It makes it much more
painful and a lot more difficult to get
go. A lot of guys and girls do this
after break up... Not really on purpose,
but usually as a fall-back. They keep
you there, and if their current
relationship doesn't work... They've
still got you waiting.
The next thing is to stop forcing yourself
to have feeling for someone else... You
can't expect to feel 7 years of history in
a guy after 2 months. It doesn't work
like that. Take your time, have male
friends, do what you gotta do, and live
your life. When the time is ripe, you'll
move on and find someone new.
Even if he did ask you back out... Do you
really really want him back after he has
dragged you through hell and back?
Especially by replacing you like a pair of
old socks? I don't think so... He was
great, the relationship was great, things
happened... Move on. Live your life...
Do something positive. Join a gym, eat
healthier, take some extra courses, do
some volunteer work, save your cash, get a
new job... Just don't sit around at home
moping and crying. It's not going to
help anything.
