Treatment

Sam…
yea, I guess almost every drunk/doper has been in the boat you find yourself in. It’s a tough place to be.

But don’t discount your 10 days, or six days or your three days or even your two days without sparkin’ one up. It is significant.

Early on the recovery path we are on our own, no power greater than ourselves in tow, it is hard going. Early in my sobriety they used to ask me all the time “you got a back bone of a wish bone?” but I was in an aa meeting when they said that to me. And they asked me to keep coming back.
The long and short of it is, we stay sick all by our selves, alone and in secret, and we get well together in the sunlight of the spirit.

The message contained in aa is an odd one, it seems that it can only be clearly heard by the truly desperate. If you think you can take another run at that using/drinking crap, you will. The idea that you might have called this a little too soon, you know, maybe been a little hasty in your diagnosis, that idea has to be smashed.

Barring major organ failure, blood borne disease or being shot in a dope deal gone bad, or of course in a barroom brawl, you may find yourself willing. That happy day can happen as soon as you say so. But no matter if that good day comes now or years from now, don’t kid yourself about what you are facing. Drinking/using quit being fun a long time ago. You wouldn’t be trying to quit if it were still fun.

And here is the bad part, that crap that’s eating your lunch ain’t never gonna give you up easy. You ain’t gonna walk away from it without a fight either. You and your addiction understand each other very well. There is a very good chance that all by yourself, you don’t have the power to say no and to make it stick. You may be battling a disease that only a spiritual experience will defeat.

If you aren’t willing to go to any lengths right now, and if you are lucky and don’t die, someday you will be. Active addiction will never get better over time, it only gets worse. And I mean a lot worse, you will call this stuff you’re going through at this time the good old days a year from now. It will never let you go.

Make your way to an aa meeting, a ca (cocaine anonymous) or na (narcotics anonymous) meeting today.
Find the winners around the tables, and stick close to them. Find out what they are doing and what they’ve got, and ask yourself one question, do you want it? If so, get a sponsor and work the steps. That way you’ll be ready when the next guy comes in and asks “has anyone else done this?”.

Shadowalker164